TUVYA IS CHAIM NEUHOFF
AUTHENTIC DAAS TORAH- A CHAREDI RAV'S OPINION
ATTENTION BRILLIANT TORAH TEMIMAH PARENTS - IF YOU TRULY LOVE YOUR CHILDREN PLEASE SHOP AT:
Yudi Kolko's Victim Cries..."He Took My Innocence Away’"
THE FRAUD THAT IS YISROEL BELSKY!
"Tatty, I miss you too. You have hurt me terribly and I can't fully comprehend what you did to me."
Accused Pedophile Rabbi Still Go-Carting
" I will be attacked with ridicule from all sides. What can I do? A fire is burning within me, and within a thousand Jews like me"...
" I AM CONSTANTLY BOTHERED WITH YOUR RIDICULE OF CHACHOMIM"
My name is Michael Lesher-I've been devoting my legal efforts primarily to help abused children and parents who try to protect them
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
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August 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
TUVYA IS CHAIM NEUHOFF
Address: 1296 E. 10th. St.
Brooklyn, N.Y. 11230
718-501-3708
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, August 10, 2006 | 154 comments
AUTHENTIC DAAS TORAH- A CHAREDI RAV'S OPINION
AUTHENTIC DAAS TORAH:
UOJ has done a tremendous Toivah to Klal Yisroel in exposing the evildoers in our midst and being Mekayaim the Mitzvah Dioiraisah of Ubearta Harah Mikirbecha. His whole campaign would have been Kidai even if he only prevented one Jewish child from being molested. Kol Hamikayaim Nefesh Achas Meyisroel Keiloo Kiyam Oilam Moleh. Nothing is more precious to us than our Heilige Kinderlach. On them Chazal say Al Tigoo Bimisheechoi Ibinveai Al Tareioo, do not touch my anointed ones and to my prophets do no harm, Ailoo Teenokos Shel Bais Rabun these are the children of the house of their teacher (cheder). Some explain this Chazal to mean that every Jewish child has the potential to be Moshiach. How careful must we be then with the development of every child? Where is the collective communal outrage at what has been allowed to go on here? What drug has placed us into such a stupor that nothing seems to wake us up even when the safety of our children is at stake?
This situation is nothing less than Pikuach Nefesh Mamesh and if some “unorthodox” methods were used to wake us up from our slumber so be it. Bimokom Chillul Hashem Ain Cholkin Kovod Lirav. And what a massive Chillul Hashem this has caused. What greater Chillul Hashem can there be than the destruction of our Heilige Kinderlach in the very place they are learning Toira? The secular media talking about us having a “catholic priest problem”? Oi Lieinaim Haroiois Vuznaim Hashomois Es Ailah. And this Chillul Hashem does not stop. Even after all this, Kolko is still allowed to be employed as sports director in Camp Silver Lake (the summer home of Yeshiva & Mesivta Torah Temimah and Lipa Margulies) and hang around in a bathing suit at Lake Compounce surrounded by our Heilige Kinderlach! Once again reported by the secular media.
We are witnessing an unprecedented type of Rishus that is beyond comprehension. Firstly, a Mossad entrusted with the care of Jewish children keeps a man on its staff for over thirty-five years and knowingly enables his destruction of countless Jewish children. This alone defies belief and understanding. But then, even after they are exposed to the entire world for the Rishus they have perpetrated against the Klal, and have caused a Chilul Hashem of untold proportion, they are still Oimid Bimerdum Ibirishum Bichul Hatoikef and insist and causing an even greater Chilul Hashem.
There are no words to explain such conduct.
We as a community must say Dai, enough, no more. Lipa Margulies must be immediately put out of business. This situation has come about because an Am-haaretz has been allowed to run a Yeshiva without Daas Toirah, without Middos and without Seichel. No one is a Baal Habos on the Toirah. Toirah is a valuable keepsake, a Peekudoin which has to be guarded and watched only by people who understand its real value. Those are real Talmeidai Chachomim who are Meyagaia Batorah Lishmah. Our keepsake has been hijacked by an individual who has no appreciation whatsoever for our real values but merely sees the Torah as a means for expanding his business interests, his fame and his glory. The result is before our eyes. Hashchoso of unprecedented proportion. And he has no compunction whatsoever about bringing down the entire Oilam Hatorah and Klal Yisroel together with him because it means nothing to him.
We will not let him do that.
Yeshiva Torah Temimah must be shut down right now. A Mossad that harbors a molester and is causing a massive Chilul Hashem in the process no longer has a right to continue as a Yeshiva. When the Russians tried to introduce secular studies to Volozhin the Netziv shut it down rather than adulterate the Torah. Volozhin, at that time, was the first Yeshiva in Europe, one of the only Yeshivas in existence and was certainly the most central and important Yeshiva in the Oilam Hatorah. Shutting down Volozhin was like shutting the Torah itself Chas Vesholom. But the Gedolei Yisroel felt that if the Torah cannot be learned Kitzoorusuh, Kmoi Shenitnah Biseenai Al Taharoas Hakodesh it’s better to shut it down. Yeshiva Torah Temimah is in that very Matzav right now. It may have done some good over the years, now its time to close its doors. Everybody in Klal Yisroel is Mechooyav to do everything they can to shut down this Moisad immediately. Especially the Talmeidai Chahchomim who are employed there, so they are not Chas Vesholem considered Machzeikei Yidei Oivrei Aveirah.
Oi may haya lanu?
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, August 10, 2006 | 5 comments
ATTENTION BRILLIANT TORAH TEMIMAH PARENTS - IF YOU TRULY LOVE YOUR CHILDREN PLEASE SHOP AT:
www.cafepress.com/yudi
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, August 10, 2006 | 19 comments
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Yudi Kolko's Victim Cries..."He Took My Innocence Away’"
He Took My Innocence Away’
By Jennifer Friedlin-The Jewish Week
South Carolina man alleges Brooklyn rabbi sexually abused him 20 years ago; third accuser against Rabbi Kolko and Yeshiva Torah Temimah.
Jennifer Friedlin - Special To The Jewish Week
The alleged molestation did not begin immediately. In fact, it would take at least a year of priming Israel Tsatskis before Rabbi Yehuda Kolko allegedly started to sexually abuse the young boy.
The year was 1986 and Tsatskis, then a sixth grader at Yeshiva and Mesivta Torah Temimah in Flatbush, had suddenly become one of Rabbi Kolko’s favorite students in the school. Rabbi Kolko, then a teacher at the yeshiva, would call Tsatskis out of class to monitor his class or to do small errands, like make photocopies.
The attention felt good.
“I thought I was special because he was taking an interest in me,” Tsatskis recalled recently in a phone conversation.
Over time, however, Rabbi Kolko’s favoritism crossed the line and became abusive, Tsatskis alleges. Tsatskis says the molestation, which included fondling and groping of his genitals, continued until he completed the eighth grade and graduated middle school.
The scars, however, still remain.
“I hate that he took away my innocence. I blame so much on him,” said Tsatskis, a 31-year-old former U.S. Army soldier who lives in South Carolina.
Tsatskis is the third person to bring a lawsuit against Rabbi Kolko and the yeshiva for crimes he allegedly committed in the 1970s and ‘80s. His story took on a new resonance recently when Tsatskis went public in a court filing attaching his name to the claims against Rabbi Kolko; he had been referred to only as John Doe 3.
“The sexual abuse has caused Israel to suffer severe and permanent psychological, emotional and physical injuries and the inability to lead a normal life, as well as attendant economic losses,” according to the complaint. “Plaintiff’s injuries are persistent, permanent and debilitating in nature.”
Although the statute of limitations has expired for both a criminal and civil action, the plaintiffs hope that evidence of an alleged cover-up orchestrated by the head of the school, Rabbi Lipa Margulies, will enable them to proceed with the civil action.
Since the lawsuits were filed in Brooklyn Federal Court, Rabbi Kolko has been put on administrative leave. He has declined to comment on the allegations, while the yeshiva has denied any wrongdoing. Calls to Rabbi Kolko’s lawyer, Robert Mercurio, were not returned.
Recently, Rabbi Kolko was spotted chaperoning campers from Silver Lake Camp, Torah Temimah’s summer camp, at a Connecticut theme park, New York magazine reported this week. Avi Moskowitz, a lawyer for the yeshiva, told the magazine that Rabbi Kolko is not affiliated with the camp, but that “Obviously, the camp has no control over where he goes and what he does.”
Reached for comment Moscowitz told The Jewish Week that “[Rabbi Kolko] did not come on [the camp’s] behalf and wasn’t invited by us.”
Moscowitz maintained that the allegations against the yeshiva are “simply not true.” He added that he believes that the statute of limitations is such that the case should be dismissed.
Tsatskis said he decided to pursue his $10 million lawsuit against the rabbi and the school in order to try and regain a sense of control over the past and to encourage the fervently Orthodox community to which he once belonged to recognize that sexual abuse is a problem in need of attention.
“If the only thing that comes from this case is that the community wakes up and says, ‘this happens here,’ and that they stop it, I’ll be happy,” said Tsatskis.
The Tsatskis’ family ties to Rabbi Margulies go back generations to Hungary, where Israel’s grandfather knew him. So, years ago, when the Tsatskis family was looking for a school for their young son, the grandfather recommended his friend’s yeshiva. Rabbi Kolko was Tsatskis’ first-grade teacher. But the alleged trouble began several years later.
Throughout his early elementary school years, Tsatskis said he was a good student, but a bit of a loner. By sixth grade, he was having more trouble academically and his grades started to slip. His relationship with his parents was also growing strained. At that point Tsatskis says that Rabbi Kolko began taking a personal interest in his life. Tsatskis, meanwhile, started to see Rabbi Kolko as someone he could trust and confide in.
“I didn’t have a bad home or upbringing,” Tsatskis said. “But he was like my father away from home, like a big brother or an uncle. He would tell me I’m special and whenever there was a slight problem in my life he was the first one to take an interest.”
By the time Tsatskis entered the seventh grade, he said that Rabbi Kolko had his total trust. It was then that Rabbi Kolko allegedly began touching the boy inappropriately. Tsatskis said Rabbi Kolko would pull him from class and take him to his private office, where the rabbi would put his hands down the boy’s pants and fondle his genitals. On some occasions, Rabbi Kolko would follow Tsatskis to his private bathroom to “help” him buckle up his pants. Tsatskis said Rabbi Kolko would then grope him.
At the time, Tsatskis said that he had no sense that what Rabbi Kolko was doing was wrong. He blames this largely on the fact that neither the yeshiva nor his parents ever discussed the difference between appropriate and inappropriate sexual behavior.
“My son and daughter know more about which areas are private than I knew when I was 15,” said Tsatskis, referring to his 4-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter. “I felt if this is what he’s doing it must be OK.”
However, by the time he was a teenager, Tsatskis’ behavior was getting more out of control, so much so that a psychologist recommended that the teen undergo intensive therapy. While Tsatskis was in treatment, the truth of the abuse emerged, he said.
Although he felt a sense of relief, Tsatskis said he never fully recovered from the damage of having been abused by a figure of communal authority and personal importance.
“Once I realized that what he did was wrong, my whole life came tumbling down,” said Tsatskis, noting that his parents had a hard time knowing how to deal with their son’s situation.
Because of behavioral problems, Tsatskis bounced around five high schools in four years. Throughout his teen years, he began hanging out with the wrong crowd. His faith in Judaism was shattered.
“If this guy would do this to me and he represents Judaism, then something was really wrong,” said Tsatskis, who is no longer observant.
After high school, Tsatskis said he did a series of odd jobs and bummed around before joining the U.S. Army as a medic at 24 to “get some control back.” That same year he also married a woman he had known from Brooklyn. The couple is now separated.
“I have acquaintances but relationships are hard for me,” Tsatskis said.
In fact, Tsatskis said that he has never felt as good as he did when Rabbi Kolko was showering attention on him. “It was the ultimate high,” Tsatskis said. “I felt important, distinguished from the class.”
He said his pull to Rabbi Kolko has remained so great over the years that he has gone back to Brooklyn on several occasions to try and visit him in an effort to recapture that feeling of importance. However, Tsatskis said that Rabbi Kolko always seems distracted and uninterested in speaking with him.
“I would continuously go back to him and he would reject me,” Tsatskis said. “It’s sort of like a woman in an abusive relationship. Why does she go back? Because she feels special. I long for that special feeling.”
Over the years, Tsatskis said he tried to recapture the feeling through other relationships, but nothing came close to the feeling Rabbi Kolko gave him.
“Throughout my life I needed attention and he filled the gap,” Tsatskis said.
To this day, Tsatskis says he is still confused by what happened and why it made him feel the way he did. If he had the chance, he said he would like to ask Rabbi Kolko, “Why me? What was it about me? Why not any of the other 60 kids?”
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, August 09, 2006 | 37 comments
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
THE FRAUD THAT IS YISROEL BELSKY!
Yisroel Belsky's Bogus Loshon Hara Hazmana ...
Click image to enlarge.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Tuesday, August 08, 2006 | 27 comments
Monday, August 07, 2006
"Tatty, I miss you too. You have hurt me terribly and I can't fully comprehend what you did to me."
I was asked by Ms. Eisgrau to post her story for the world to see.
In fact, there are parts of this story I was indeed able to verify, and as to the entire letter, I have independent sources that have NEVER been wrong, that are able to vouch for her credibility.
Republished with permission and authorization of The Awareness Ctr.
A Story of Survival - Surviving Incest
© (2005) By Survivor of Rabbi Eliezer Eisgrau
Dear Family,
You have all turned your backs and walked away from me. My father, my mother, and eleven siblings. All gone.
This reality is very sad. It is disturbing, and incomprehensible all at the same time.
What is the terrible crime I committed that warranted the loss of my entire family? What could cause parents to abandon a child? Siblings to abandon a sister? And a community to collectively turn its back in silence?
I committed a terrible crime.
My unforgivable crime is that I spoke the truth about my childhood.
I could no longer keep secret the years of fear and pain. The molestation by my father, and the emotional abuse and neglect of both my parents. ..
I did try hard to keep it in the family as I had been taught to. I tried so hard to be the daughter and sister you wanted me to be. To be "good" To let it go, and just forget, and somehow be OK... But I was in too much pain. I knew I couldn't continue without help.
I came to you first, remember? But you made it clear that you did not believe that I was really hurt. You made it clear that you would not, and could not, believe me that Tatty molested me nor could you support me. You denied that I had a reason to be in so much pain. I had to go elsewhere for help.
Going outside the family for help is a major sin. The louder you shouted that it just wasn't true, that Tatty could never do such a thing, that nothing really happened to me, the louder I had to shout to hear myself over the clamor of your thirteen desperate voices.
Unfortunately It is true that I was sexually molested and abused in our family. If I am real than this did happen. I am a product of OUR family.
...Thankfully, there were others who heard and I got the help I needed. I survived and I am doing well!
Oh, if only It were true, as you say, that a therapist somehow convinced me that the memories are true!!! I would sue the therapist and have my family back!
If only it were true, as you say, that the books I read on the subject of abuse are what put these horrible ideas into my head!! I would burn the books and have my family back!!
If only I were truly sick, or truly mental!! I would then pose no threat and I could have my family back!! Oh, if only I were truly evil and out to "get" my father! But I still love my father in spite of myself. I don't believe that my father is an evil monster. He has caused a lot of pain and refuses to take any responsibility for his actions. He is a human being who has done much good and also much bad. He has a serious problem and I wish he would get help.
To my siblings, and to my fathers supporters, I say I am none of the things you accuse me of. I am just a women. I have my strengths and limitations just like you. I am a wife, a mother, a teacher, a friend, and neighbor just like you. I play with my children, hug them, kiss them and love them, just like you do. I laugh and cry and feel as deeply as you do. I have a life that is rich and joyful and completely separate from my past, as I hope that you do too. And I have many close friends who truly know and appreciate me for who I am...and know nothing of my past.
But there is no substitute for my family. I miss you. In spite of your denial of my experiences. In spite of your blame and accusations. In spite of you saying that your childhood was idyllic and wonderful...and therefore mine was too. I am truly happy for you that this was your experience and I can not take it away from you. I can only envy you. My childhood also had wonderful moments and happy memories, yet the good memories are overshadowed by pain, sadness, and fear. I wish there was a way you could accept our different experiences, and reconcile.
Perhaps there are those of you who would like to be in touch with me and believe that you can't because Rabbi Hopfer advised you to cut me out of the family. It would be going against "Daas Torah" to speak with me. I am so sorry for your pain. I am so sorry for us that you have chosen a rav who apparently has more to gain by breaking up our family than by encouraging its healing.
Any thinking, intelligent person can see that Rabbi Hopfer's cruel advice, which hides behind the guise of "Daas Torah," sadly, has nothing to do with either.
Tatty, I miss you too.
You have hurt me terribly and I can't fully comprehend what you did to me. I understand why the people who have trusted you do not want to believe me. It is just too overwhelming. I also do not want to believe...I still want to believe that I am wrong. I still want to believe that I have a father who is safe. You loved me and hurt me. You gave me life, and you almost killed me. You will always be the only father I have. I will always need you.
Mommy, I think I do understand why you walked away... You made it clear from the time I was young that Tatty was much more important to you than I was. I believe that on some level you know that my memories of him are true. I believe that you needed him, and still need him more than you ever needed me. You have not been able to let yourself truly see me from the time I was very little. And that hurts. Because I needed you desperately. You are my mother and I needed your protection and love. I will always need you.
I am a women who was terribly abused as a child. I deal with this reality every day of my life. And because I did not keep the secret, I am a women without parents or siblings.
With tears and always... hope for the future,
Eisgrau's Daughter.
The reason I am telling my story is because I want people, especially rabbis, to realize that when allegations of child abuse are made by a child against a parent, (regardless of whether the allegations are true or not) it is an indication of a serious problem in the family. When abuse is covered up and denied it is usually handed down to the next generation. Cutting off the family member who dares to expose the family's pain and shame does not make the problem go away. My family and I needed help and the rabbi's failed us. My family and I still need help and the rabbi's are still failing us. If I had a child who said I had sexually abused them, whether I thought I had or not, I would realize that there was a serious problem in my relationship with that child. I would do all I could to help my child understand what had happened. I would get my whole family help.
When most people in the orthodox community look at my family they see a normal family. Everyone is religious, married with kids, seems happy, and appears not only to be functioning well but also contributing to their community.
I come from a very large orthodox family. Most of my early childhood was spent in a small town on the east coast. My father met and married my mother there while he was a student at her father's yeshiva. My grandfather's yeshiva was in a remote area jewishly and otherwise, and we were very isolated. We did not go to school and had no contact with children outside of the family.
My father was physically abusive and sexually molested me repeatedly while we were living near my grandfather's yeshiva. I was also molested by some of the students in the yeshiva. I don't remember their names. My father stopped abusing me when we moved to Baltimore and he started teaching.
My grandfather was also inappropriate with me. He exposed himself to me once when I was three. When I was seven he had a serious discussion with me. He told me how lonely he was and ask me if I thought he should get remarried. At that age he told my sister and I that he loved one of us more than the other. I was sure it was she who he loved more than me.
I know that my grandfather physically abused my mother, (although she will insist that her experience was not abuse). She would get hit, for example, if she couldn't keep the baby from crying. My mother is the oldest of ten children. Her mother died of an illness when she was fifteen. She said that my grandfather always hit his children too much, but after her mother died it got worse. She told me that her brothers would try to protect her. My mother's brothers are the only safe men who I remember having close contact with in my childhood.
My father was physically abused by his mother. She would hold his nose to force him to swallow foods that he d. She would beat him with a broomstick. He was a troubled teen and was kicked out of more than one yeshiva. He told me that my grandfather rescued him, "pulled him from the garbage can." He shared with me his first encounter with my grandfather. He said that when my grandfather was speaking to him he raised his hand to make a point, and my father instinctively ducked under the table. He thought he was going to be hit.
My grandfather also rescued Aaron Goldberger. He had been expelled from a yeshiva for "homosexual behavior." Knowing his background, and despite many warnings, my grandfather allowed Goldberger to marry his daughter. Years later Goldberger was convicted of molesting his own children and lost custody of them as a result.
I was a troubled child and an angry teen for obvious reasons. I was also extremely depressed. My mother would tell me repeatedly that I had nothing to be sad or angry about and that I should put a smile on my face.
When I was in the fourth grade I discovered by that I needed glasses. A classmate had a pair and I tried them on just for fun. When the room jumped into focus I realized that I needed glasses. I told my mother who said, "No you don't need glasses, you see well enough." Her response was typical.
When my fifth grade teacher sent a note home asking my parents to get my eyes checked they finally took me to an eye doctor. The doctor assured my mother that he could see by the shape of my pupil that I was nearsighted but she was still unconvinced. She told me that I was getting glasses not because I needed them but to get the teacher off her back. My sister taunted me "you don't really need glasses you just want attention."
As a child I often wondered what I could possibly do to become real in my parent's eyes. I remember watching other children in school and wondering what it was about them that I was missing that allowed them to exist, and have real needs and feelings. I thought there was something inherently wrong with me.
When I was sixteen I left home to go to school in Israel. When the Gulf War broke out my parents forced me to come back home and refused to let me return to Israel. When I was eighteen I ran away from home and went back to Israel. My father came after me. He told me that the only reason he could think of that I could possibly have run away was that I had lesbian relationship with a friend whom I had met and become close to while in school there.
My father said that he wanted to help me and would take me to see a psychologist if I came home with him. He took me to his friend, Dr. Aviva Weisbord, who agreed to see me as a favor to him. (Apparently he had helped her with one of her children who had been having problems.)
Dr. Weisbord should never have taken me on as a client due to her obvious conflict of interest. She allowed me to come to her house during the course of therapy and sleep over. She violated confidentiality by meeting with my parents against my wishes. She violated confidentiality by telling people that I had been a client of hers and that in her "professional" opinion my father had not abused me.
During the course of my treatment with Dr. Weisbord she and I both realized that I had been sexually abused. She kept asking me about my uncle, Goldberger, whom I had contact with as a young child. I did not remember any specific instances of him abusing me. I did not tell her about my father. She was very willing to believe that my uncle, a convicted offender, abused me. But I knew she would not believe me about my father. She made it clear that she trusted and respected him. At some point she realized that I was hiding something. She told me that there were serious boundary issues in my family. That there were things that I wasn't sharing with her, and that she did not want to hear. She told me that she was ending our relationship and sending me to someone else.
My next therapist would not speak with my parents at all, and when my father found out that I was talking about the abuse he told me that I had to stop seeing her. He threatened to take her to a bais din for "convincing me of things that never happened." He told me that I was heading down a dangerous path. That reading books on the subject of abuse was putting ideas into my head. He told me that he was the only one who really loved that and me if I wasn't paying my therapist she would throw me out onto the street. That was the day I left my parents home.
I had nowhere to go. In desperation, I called a woman whom I had met only once, Hinda Goliger, and she invited me to come live with her. Many people including my parents, tried to pressure the Goligers to throw me out so I would be forced to go back home. The Goligers refused to bow to pressure. They promised me that their home would always be a safe place for me and it was. They were truly there for me when no one else was. They believed in me, and I will always be grateful.
The abuse by my father and others left me with many issues. But even worse than the actual and abuse was the revictimization that I encountered from my family, and community, when I tried to reach out for help.
No one would believe me that my father or my grandfather had done these things. My siblings were very angry with me and treated me like I had some horrible disease. My mother told me that she knew that nothing happened to me and that basically I was saying these things to get attention. One of my uncles told me that saying that my grandfather abused me meant that I d the Torah. Another Rabbi who I spoke with, after asking me for my grandfathers name, told me that it was my imagination that I had been sexually abused and that I should just forget about it and get married and everything would be fine. Once again I was being given the message that I was not real. My memories were not real. My feelings and experiences were not real.
During this time one of my brothers, then in his teens, forced a six-year-old in the neighborhood to expose herself to him. He threatened to hurt her if she didn't comply. The child's mother told me about the incident. She told my mother about it too. My mother's response was that she needed to talk to my brother about staying away from s, and that my father needed to learn with him more often.
I told my therapist about the incident. She informed me that what my brother had done was considered sexual abuse and that she was mandated to report it. I begged her not to. I knew that my family, who were already very upset with me for saying that my father abused me, would think that I had reported it. She finally agreed to ask her Rabbi, R' Menachem Goldberger, what to do. Rabbi Goldberger. told her to make the report which she did.
Another Rabbi who I turned to for help was Rabbi Moshe Heinemann. I did not know how to approach him. I decided to ask him a halachic question that had been bothering me for a while. It was a question that one of my aunts had asked me when I told her what my father had done to me. I asked him if I was allowed to marry a kohen if my father abused me. I was hoping that he would hear the inherent pain in my question and offer to help me. He asked if it happened before or after age three. I said after. He then told me that if I decided to say that it never happened then I could marry a kohen but if I said that it did happen then I couldn't. End of conversation. That was the only time that I spoke with Rabbi Heinemann about this, or anything else. Some years later parents of a child in the Torah Institute went to ask Rabbi Heinemann about the allegations against my father. He told them to disregard what I said as I was, "crazy and not frum."
I went to other Rabbi's for help and I was told, "we know sexual abusers exists in our community but we know that your father is not one of them."
I already felt inherently damaged, and traumatized, as a result of the sexual abuse but the way my family and the rabbi's were treating me made the pain unbearable. Like all survivors of trauma I needed to talk about what happened to me in order to process it and heal. I needed (and still need) my truth to be heard. My family did not understand this and accused me of trying to hurt them by telling people about it.
I thought that because no one believed me I must be crazy. I wanted to believe that my family was right and I was sick or evil but deep down I knew that I wasn't and that I was remembering these things because they had happened to me.
I was in a tremendous amount of psychological pain. I often begged God to remove me from this world. I wanted to die to find out the truth. And I wanted to escape the pain. I attempted and was hospitalized. During my hospitalization I was diagnosed with a dissociative disorder (that I have since recovered from) whose only known cause is severe and repeated trauma in early childhood. I was also diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder.)
While all this was going on I was teaching preschool at the Torah Institute. The preschool director was shocked when I told her that I was quitting because I was suicidal and needed to be hospitalized. She simply couldn't believe it. She said that I was doing a great job teaching and that she thought I was the most `together' of all my sisters. I told her that my family specialized in seeming `normal' and `together' and that I was good at it, but I was tired of pretending to be ok. I needed help.
At first the director said that she believed me that my father had sexually abused me. She told me that she knew more than one rebbe at the Torah Institute with sexual issues. She wanted to be supportive but at the same time she begged me to consider the damage that speaking about my experience would cause my siblings. She told me I could ruin my sister's chances of getting a shidduch if I didn't keep quiet.
She offered to let me stay with her for a couple of weeks while I waited for a bed to open up on the dissociative disorders unit. During this stay she changed her mind and told me that although it was obvious to her that my parents had caused me severe emotional damage, she just couldn't believe that my father had physically molested me.
During one of my many hospitalizations Rabbi Yaakov Hopfer came to visit me. I told him about the memories that I had of my father molesting me. I told him that I hoped my family and everyone else was right about me and that somehow my mind was playing cruel tricks on me. It was easier for me to believe that I was crazy then to believe that my father did these things to me. I wanted my family back.
Eventually, I rented my own apartment and applied for another job in a new preschool that was opening up in the community. I was hired as a teacher for the three-year-old class. A few weeks before the start of the school year the director informed me that some people in the community threatened not to send their children to her school if I was going to be teaching there. They told her that there must be something wrong with me because I had moved out of my parents home. This woman, not knowing that there was a connection between us, asked Dr. Aviva Weisbord for advice. Dr. Aviva Weisbord told her not to let me teach but to give me a job in a back office so that no one would know I was there.
I became completely disillusioned with yidishkeit because of the way I was being treated by the community and my family. People who should have been helping me were calling me crazy and evil. I wanted nothing to do with any of it anymore. I stopped keeping shabbos and kosher. I had to find a new way to relate to God. I also had to find a new God. One who had not allowed me to be abused in a yeshiva and by people who were supposed to be frum and uphold the Torah. A God who was all knowing and all loving and believed in me and wanted me to heal. I had to leave yidishkeit to find this.
I explored other religions. I spoke to priests, ministers. I came back to Judaism, mostly because I missed shabbos. I had to come to the realization that my parents and the Rabbi's who hurt me did not own God or Judaism and that their behavior had nothing to do with Torah. Although I am now shomer mitzvoth, to this day I can never completely trust a rabbi. And I doubt I will never feel completely safe or comfortable in the frum world.
About eight years after my conversation with Rabbi Hopfer my father became the principal of the Torah Institute. I had received excellent help in the trauma disorders day hospital at Sheppard Pratt and had with much effort pulled my shattered life back together. The chronic depression and psychological pain that I had carried around with me for as long as I could remember slowly dissipated as I worked through the traumatic memories. I was in school. I was working. I met and married a wonderful man. I gave birth to a baby. I was very happy. Every day felt like a miracle.
I was very concerned when I heard that a former student had accused my father of child abuse. I had thought/hoped that his abuse had stopped with me. It suddenly occurred to me that maybe the reason the abuse stopped when we moved to Baltimore was because my father had access to other children.
I told a parent of a child in the school that I was concerned that my father was not safe around children. It got back to my siblings and they went to Rabbi Hopfer for advice. Rabbi Hopfer told my siblings to give me an ultimatum. I was to promise never to talk about what my father did to me, or they would cut me out of the family. I told them there was no way I could ethically promise that.
I wrote Rabbi Hopfer a letter asking him why he had not contacted me before he gave my family this advice. He did not respond. Some months later I called him up several times, and finally he called back. I asked him why he had not contacted me before telling my family to cut me off. He became very defensive and angrily asked me why I believed that my fathers other accuser was credible? Why had I not bothered to check it out?
I told Rabbi Hopfer that I had checked it out and that although I was not in the room and could never know what really happened to this student, that based on my own experiences with my father I believed that it was possible that he had abused again.
I told Rabbi Hopfer that I wished that he and my family would also admit that they were not in the room when my father was abusing me and could never be completely sure what my father had done to me.
I asked him again why he had not contacted me. He said he had already spoken to me eight years earlier when he had visited me in the hospital.
Me: I am a different person now, in a totally different place then I was eight years ago. I was going through a serious crisis then. A lot has changed. I think you should have realized that and called me. Do you remember our conversation in the hospital?
Hopfer: No.
Me: So you made the decision to break up a family based on a conversation you had eight years ago that you don't remember?
Hopfer: I made my decision then that you were not credible and I stuck with it.
Me: I think you should have contacted me. Why don't you believe me about my father? Do you think I am crazy or evil?
Hopfer: No, but your siblings say that your story is inconsistent. First you said your uncle abused you, then your grandfather, then your father.
Me: When I first started dealing with this, I did not want to believe that my father abused me. Like you, I would rather have believed just about anything else. My therapist at the time wanted me to think it was my uncle.
Hopfer: Your own therapist doesn't believe you.
Me: The only therapist I worked with who is unethical enough to break confidentiality and speak to you about what she believes and doesn't believe about me, is Dr. Weisbord and she is also a friend of my father.
I'm trying to understand why you would advise my family to do such a terrible thing? What good could this possibly accomplish?
Hopfer: They have too choose between you and your father. They can't be loyal to both of you. They can't stand seeing the pain you are causing him.
Me: I wonder why you and my family are so focused on my fathers pain, which I didn't cause, yet no one seems to worry about my pain. I have lost my entire family because of this. And you have ruined any chances of my family taking any responsibility in dealing with this. Any chance of healing our relationship. If they want to cut me out let them at least own their own decision. Don't you realize that they take your advise as a psak, as da'as torah?
Hopfer: Yes. I realized that.
Me: would you consider changing your ruling.
Hopfer: No, I still think they have to choose.
Me: Is it because you don't believe me, that my father sexually abused me?
Hopfer: Yes, I don't believe that he did that.
Me: How can you be objective about this considering that you trust my father so much? He has taken over your shiurim for you when you are out of town. He has taught your children. Don't you think it would have been more responsible to send my family to someone else for advice about this? Someone who is not so close to the situation?
Hopfer: I believe that I made the correct decision.
In the end my father is still the principal of an elementary school. If the Rabbi's in Baltimore care at all about the safety of the children in their community they would insist that my father be evaluated by a professional who is trained to evaluate potential offenders. If they continue to try to "protect" him and demonize, discredit, and isolate me, they are continuing to perpetuate a tremendous evil for themselves and their community. They share some of the responsibility for the horrors I went through and they will be responsible for any new victims of abuse by my father.
I am still treated like I do not exist by my family. I don't know which of my siblings are married, and I have not been told of any births or s that have occurred.
I am still looking for a rabbi who is willing to stand up for me and challenge Rabbi Yaakov Hopfer to take a second look at what he is doing to me and to my family. Whatever the outcome, it would help me heal my relationship with Judaism to know that there is someone representing Torah who is willing to stand up for what is right.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Monday, August 07, 2006 | 34 comments
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Accused Pedophile Rabbi Still Go-Carting
Accused Pedophile Rabbi Still Go-Carting
Many boys nearby.
By Robert Kolker
New York Magazine
Rabbi Yehuda Kolko continues chaperoning kids. The Orthodox Brooklyn rabbi named in two sexual-abuse lawsuits was spotted on July 20 handing out tickets, driving a go-cart, and making arrangements with security at Lake Compounce, a family theme park in Connecticut that he’d rented out in the past when he worked for a prominent Flatbush yeshiva and its upstate summer camp. A first-grade teacher at Yeshiva Torah Temimah for four decades, Kolko stands accused in civil court of molesting three boys in the seventies and eighties; the charges are too old to make the criminal statute of limitations, but the school and its summer camp, Silver Lake, still suspended Kolko in May. “Everyone was shocked that he showed his face there,” says an eyewitness. “His sons were all around him, making sure no one started anything up.” The yeshiva’s attorney, Avi Moskowitz, maintains that Kolko has nothing to do with Camp Silver Lake and that he was not in charge of the July 20 event. “Obviously, the camp has no control over where he goes and what he does,” Moskowitz says. But sex-abuse plaintiff David Framowitz is confounded: “He’s walking around kids in bathing suits. Nothing has changed. All of those kids are potential victims, and everyone’s been warned.”
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Sunday, August 06, 2006 | 33 comments
Saturday, August 05, 2006
" I will be attacked with ridicule from all sides. What can I do? A fire is burning within me, and within a thousand Jews like me"...
"I will be attacked with ridicule from all sides. But what can I do? A fire is burning within me, and within a thousand Jews like me... A fire, which cannot be extinguished." .... Rabbi Shraga Feivel Mendlowitz zt"l, the "architect" of Torah in America, written in the 1930's.
" Lishmoa lillmod u'llelamed, lishmor v'laasos u'lkayem es kol divrei talmud torahsecha b'ahaava".... from the Ahava Raba in our daily tefillos.
Lillmod kdei llamed...We learn our holy Torah to be able to pass it on to our children for the generations. We learn the holy Torah, kdei likayim, in order to fulfill "all" of the learning of your (our) Torah with love!
Judaism is a religion of practice; Hashem did not gift us with the Torah to study for knowledge sake and then to discard the practices that separate us from the other nations of the world. We are to serve God so we can be better people for it.
The Torah is a prescription medicine for life, it was meant to be a cure-all for the illnesses that all humans suffer from. It was not meant to be a tool to hurt people, it was not meant to be used and abused to make money for our personal gain at the expense of the weak and the downtrodden. It was certainly not meant to punish the innocent with harm that will endure for a lifetime.
Rabbonnus was meant for the morally and ethically superior people in the mold of Moshe and Aaron; to lead us away from our temptations and human frailties. It was not meant for people to capitalize on it to create institutions from public funds to enrich their personal fiefdoms.
As Moshe and Aaron "suffered" for being great; Moshe not being permitted to enter Eretz Yisroel and Aaron losing his two sons to a fiery death, we demand accountability and moral purity from our "leaders." Our leaders are NOT to be given a pass when their mistakes cause great harm to the masses. They, by their positions, are to pay a very dear price for their foibles. So much more so when their sins are either intentional or out of ignorance!
Yes, there's a fire in me that I can not extinguish, nor will I. We are hemorrhaging internally. The bleeding is getting worse as we continue to ignore the patient...all of Am Yisroel! Our "doctors" are out to lunch and causing death and destruction to the people destined to be a light unto the world. They are mocking God by pretending to take care of the patients entrusted to them; but instead are injecting them with a spiritual poison.
Why have we not learned? How many more fake Moshiachists do we need to learn that we have been taken by the Moshiach hucksters who have seen him in a dream or a vision?
Why have we not learned that the people that predict the date of his arrival are cruel opportunists using religion as a form of crowd control to the ignorant?
Why have we not learned from the utter failure of the Chabad movement to bring authentic Judaism to the masses, and instead turned their organization into one big global soup kitchen?
Why have we not yet learned that "kollel" is for the mitzuyonim, the best and the brightest, and l'maan Hashem let's force the others to get up early and go to bed late learning Torah...but must earn a parnassah for their family?
When Rav Bick z"l cried out "the yeshivas are producing inferior humans", the Torah world went into a feeding frenzy; "what can you expect from a person who was a product of Y.U."?
Why have we not yet learned that we must reconcile science and Torah; When science contradicts Torah, Torah wins. But if we can reconcile the new scientific findings WITH the Torah, if we don't, the intelligent b'nei Torah among us will question the validity of the entire Torah?
Why have we not learned that the chitzonyus, the exterior, the l'vush, the clothing, is absolutely meaningless if our hearts are not pure. We can not clothe ourselves one way, when our actions are in total contradiction to the way we appear.
Why have we not learned that we were m'kabel the Torah at Sinai, which includes the Neviim and the K'suvim...all the rest that came later was NOT incorporated in our Torah. The feel-good writings of the various people are not Torah, they are theories of individuals, albeit many individuals. Z'miros does not take the place of learning. D'veykus and Tzimtzum are not theories that were given to us at Sinai. Being m'dabek to a human is Christianity and is not part of Judaism. To idolize a person is to violate the basic precepts of the Torah. Tzimtzum is in direct contradiction to the way the Torah describes the sheshes y'mei breishis.
And NO, I do not believe for one second that metziza b'peh is an integral part of the milah. The vast majority of Frum Jews would never permit their child to be subjected to that distortion of the emes. No, I do not believe for one second that Avraham Avinu performed metziza b'peh on himself! Some people who know better made a horrible judgment call when they decided to become the spokesmen for Satmar and that entire group of illiterates and peasants. Children are getting ill and dying and we're playing politics. Shame on you!
There is no common folk. All Jews are very special. For people that find it difficult perhaps to study Torah the conventional way; there is Art Scroll, Torah Tapes, Daf Yomi on the Internet....Etc. Singing songs does not constitute learning Torah although it feels good. We have suffered throughout time from charismatic leaders who caused much pain and destruction to our people. When their views conform to the Torah it becomes acceptable, not the other way around.
Let's not forget that a few short years ago Rabbi Aaron Kotler zt"l would not permit a shtreimel in the Bais Midrash of Lakewood. Let us not forget that Rabbi Shraga Feivel Mendlowitz zt"l would not permit his talmidim to wear their arba kanfos (tzitzis) over their shirts. What do you think he would say if a bochur walked into the yeshiva bedecked in 80 pairs of tzitzis?
As far as R' Elchonon's actions; the concept that talmidei chachomim are infallible has let us down time and time again. R' Michoel Ber Weissmandel zt"l was writing letters to the U.S.A. about the horrors going on in Europe as R' Elchonon kept going back, time and time again after his fundraising trips to America. He clearly knew what was at stake, and chose death over life for himself and his talmidim. He was photographed in the U.S.A. in the summer of 1939 (see The Art Scroll), when there were no questions in any person's mind about Hitler's plans for the Jews, and he chose death for himself and his talmidim.
So I can not sit idly by as this fire is consuming me, but I will not let it destroy me...." V'heenei boer b'aish, v'hasneh aneinu ukal". I see the Establishment yawning as the sex abuse issue goes un-addressed in a meaningful way. Yudi Kolko is still employed by Lipa Margulies and the Establishment is singing z'miros. Since I have the media eating out of my hands now, I will conduct my own Jewish global warming experiments, and will keep turning up the heat until the "climate is right" to fix the ills that are destroying us. There will be another informative article in the secular media on Monday.
If I was selling "fake Rolexes" on Fifth Av., nobody would be paying attention to me. It is obvious that I'm selling the real deal. Wake up from your slumber dear Yiden; "Aseh l'cha Rav"!!!!!!
Why have we not learned yet that there are people who really care about Yiddishkeit, and genuinely love klal Yisroel even when there's no "profit" to be made?
I'm here to stay! If you don't like it, add another hechsher(third) to Empire chicken!
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!
Please be aware that any attempt of restraining your free speech protected by the constitution of the United States can be reported to:
www.ic3.gov...........A partnership of the FBI and the National White Collar Crime Center. You are encouraged to report these punishable crimes as well to the Federal Trade commission at:www.ftc.gov
What is a crime:
Any attempt to force, stifle, coerce, blackmail, someone against their will through cyberspace, is a crime punishable by law, and when convicted is subject to fine and imprisonment. Any e-mail sent to a person threatening retaliation in any form is a crime. Any communications threatening the free speech rights of any citizen of the U.S.A. is a crime.
I have reported all such communications sent to me and others DIRECTLY to the local police and the FBI. An investigation has begun. ALL PERPERTRATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULL EXTENT OF THE LAW!
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Saturday, August 05, 2006 | 38 comments
Thursday, August 03, 2006
" I AM CONSTANTLY BOTHERED WITH YOUR RIDICULE OF CHACHOMIM"
Published With Permission
UOJ,
I was thinking about writing the following for a while and, trust me, it has nothing to do with Tuvya. I know what his agenda is. I believe that it is my responsibility as a person committed to truth to air my thoughts. I hope that you will take my comments in the way that they are intended to be delivered. Please bear with me as this may be long.
The work that you have done to fight molesters is commendable. We need change and parents need to step up to the plate. I don't know if it will ever happen, but I am trying.
I am constantly bothered, though, by the following on your blog (this will not be new to you) and would appreciate a heartfelt response in a non-UOJ manner:
Ridicule of chachomim such as Rav Kaduri, The Baal Shem Tov, others and Kabbalah in general. I did not grow up in a world of Chassidus. Viewing the culture from the outside, it is certainly different than what I am accustomed to. However, some time ago I took up a serious study of Chassidus and Kabbalah in general - both from Jewish and historical sources. My thoughts and views have evolved since then. The Baal Shem Tov was a great leader. We do not know whether some of the stories are true or not, but we do know that his main talmid was the Maggid, a Talmid of the Pnei Yehoshua - a man of great organizational ability. He was a "Litvak" and fell for the Baal Shem. Many other learned individuals did as well. The Baal HaTanya was a major Talmid Chocom who compiled the Shulchan Aruch HaRav - a work of great accomplishment. True, the Gra had many issues with Chassidus - a big theological issue was the machlokes on "tzimtzum" with the Gra rejecting the Chassidic view as heretical and refusing to meet the Baal HaTanya. Also, there were chassidim who engaged in activities that were not sanctioned by their leaders. It is important to note that R' Chaim of Volozhin had a much softer attitude towards chassidim though his Nefesh Hachaim answered the philosophical and kabalistic approach offered by the Baal HaTanya.
One of the points of chassidus that you should like is that it was for the common folk - the leaders understood the people. There was a warmth and closeness that they didn't feel previously. Perhaps some of this is overstated by modern day historians, but apparently the common folk welcomed the movement with open arms. One of the fears that the Misnagdim had was that too much faith in one individual would be harmful. Perhaps we have seen this materialize to some degree today both in the chassidic and Yeshiva world. This doesn't de-legitimize the movement though.
Another point is that Kabbalah predated chassidus and stands independently of the movement. Putting aside the mystical element of Kabbalah, the core of kabbalah deals with the inner meaning of life and Yahadus. Pick up the Sefer Tomer Devorah by the Ramak in which he discusses how to emulate Hashem's thirteen midos. The kabbalists, through a deep understanding of the inner workings of the universe and cosmic reality, strived for a more meaningful existence.
How does this relate to the issue of molestation? Kabbalah discusses the soul, the neshama, at length. When I view the destruction of the soul that the molesters cause to the innocent victims, it causes me much pain. Our connection to G-D is through the soul - spirituality - and the molesters rob our innocent children of their spiritual nourishment. It goes without saying that these poor children are robbed of their emotional and physical growth as well.
It hurts when you disparage Rav Kaduri, etc. I was personally blessed by him and it was an unbelievable experience for me. I am not a big "bracha" person at all - believe me - but being in the presence of these great Tzadikim whose lives are pure, elevated and sanctified is very special indeed. We are not talking about Rabbonim who Chas V'Sholom would cover and enable for child molesters.
You have ridiculed other Rabbonim: I have no problem whatsoever publicly exposing any Rabbi who is complicit in covering up crimes against our children. You know that. But printing a list of "A, B and C Rabbonim was in poor taste - some names even made the list because of relatively minor indiscretions.
I do not believe that commenters using names of individuals (obviously phony aliases) should be allowed. While we all enjoy a quick laugh, it causes embarrassment. This is contradictory in nature to your goal of defending the innocent and weakest amongst us.
Rav Elchonon - Too harsh, even if there is some truth. I understand your disappointment and disillusionment. I really do. But think how Hashem would judge Rav Elchonon. This is what I referred to with the Sefer Tomer Devorah. Mah Hu Chanum... The ability of the kabbalists to try and reach almost G-Dly levels is amazing and, I think that it is important to consider that this is our purpose to judge compassionately even as we deal with all this disappointment, etc.
Language, etc.: Inappropriate language and humor should not be allowed. I understand that there is frustration out there and much of it is well-founded, but as mature adults we need to express ourselves a bit differently in a public forum - just as forcefully, but with different language.
I have written the above because I believe that you are very well-meaning and because I feel that I have gotten to know you a bit. It seems that you do your thing, but I really hope you will consider my words. Your blog would be just as effective and hard hitting without all of the extras that I have pointed out. What you have done is incredible, but, in my opinion, wrong is wrong. My points have nothing to do with the molestation issue. I believe that you are right on and have been correct on all your outings and have even shown tremendous restraint with Yeshivas such as Gerer and YOB.
All the best,
Eli Greenwald
I respectfully encourage readers from all walks of life and beliefs to comment on Eli's thoughts.
UOJ
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, August 03, 2006 | 58 comments
Monday, July 31, 2006
My name is Michael Lesher-I've been devoting my legal efforts primarily to help abused children and parents who try to protect them
Published with permission granted by Michael Lesher
Dear UOJ:
My name is Michael Lesher, and I hope you've seen the recent spate of articles about my campaign to revive the case against Avrohom Mondrowitz. (New York Post, July 25; Village Voice, July 25; now the front page of Forward, July 28). I will be happy to forward to you any of these articles if you haven't yet seen them -- or you can get from the my web site, www.MichaelLesher.com, by going to the bottom of the "Press and Presentations" page and clicking on the relevant links.
I'm a ba'al t'shuva, a writer by preference and experience, also a lawyer, and (as you can see from the site) I've been devoting my legal efforts primarily to help abused children and parents who try to protect them -- but are getting a raw deal from the courts and/or the child welfare system. I'm co-author of From Madness to Mutiny: Why Mothers Are Running from the Family Courts -- and What Can Be Done about It (University Press of New England, 2005). I've written several articles and columns on child sex abuse, including child sex abuse in the Orthodox community. For the last eight years, I've made the Mondrowitz case one of my obsessions; I spent over two years fighting FOIA battles to get government documents that proved the Brooklyn D.A. had quietly allowed the case to wither, I've tried to get to the bottom of Mondrowitz's claims to have rabbinic support, I've even corresponded briefly with him. Now, after years of efforts during which I felt alone, I've been approached by four Mondrowitz victims in a few weeks, and I've been trying to use their voices -- and what I know -- to build a public outcry to ignite this case.
Why? First, because I suspect Mondrowitz may have abused as many as hundreds of children (who are now grown), most of them within the Orthodox community. Bringing him to justice could -- to the extent justice ever does -- heal a very large number of private wounds.
But I also believe it could heal public ones, for rarely has there been so heinous a case that suffered from so much PROVABLE mishandling on the part of the secular authorities. If they can be prodded into reopening the Mondrowitz case -- and I believe this is possible -- the truth that will emerge, I hope, is the story of a social and political crime. A crime all the uglier, I might add, because carried out against large numbers of a community's most helpless members -- in the name of the community.
I realize I'm writing a lot, and you probably have little time for this sort of thing. I write to you because I want to ask your help. I see that you've started a thread based on the recent Voice article. As a result of that article, Victim #4 has just called me. I am working for all such people free of charge for the sole objective of trying to bring this case to such brightly-lit, band-playing, rip-roaring public attention that no one, either in the Orthodox community or in public life in New York City, will be able to ignore it.
Could you let your bloggers know about me, let them know how eager I am to hear from more Mondrowitz victims, and make my contact information available to all? I can be emailed at mlesher@att.net, or through my web site (which I invite everyone to see to learn about me), MichaelLesher.com.
I know that there are many other abuse cases. But this is one of the unusual cases in my experiences (I've researched the case against Shlomo Hafner in great detail and know about some others, too) in which the existing legal criminal process (the man has been indicted, and as a fugitive could be tried at any time), the proven facts, the number of highly credible victims, and the stated (if disingenuous) position of the Brooklyn D.A. all make a prosecution possible. And if a prosecution really happens, I feel strongly that much more than a conviction against one man is likely. The trial and its accompanying publicity would likely bring to light a long history of inaction -- or active suppression of evidence -- on the part of important community "leaders." And that, I think, is where our interests likely intersect most decisively.
I apologize for the length of this note. Please let me know what you think. I'm new to blogging, but from what I've seen of your aims and your batting record, I'd like to be working with your aid.
Michael Lesher, Esq.
mlesher@att.net
>(973) 470-0212
Update: Leizerowiz lives on Rechov Yechezkel 102, and is trying to get a job in a Yeshiva in Jerusalem called Hasmodos Hatorah.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Monday, July 31, 2006 | 98 comments
Sunday, July 30, 2006
"I accuse our Orthodoxy for sleeping the sleep of Choni Ha’maagil who slept seventy years. Orthodoxy sleeps, how much longer?"
I was not able to interview the alleged, accused UOJ tonight due to his schedule. He did agree to speak with me in length some time this week. In the few minutes that we did speak, he referred me to the article below, published in the 1930's. He suggested that I post it on my blog for the world to see. He made two quick points when I asked him why the Establishment "chose" to make him the big bad UOJ? He responded with the following, and I paraphrase in my own words:
1-He fairly recently aggressively challenged a renown posek about a psak that was ill-researched, totally incorrect as to the mechanics of the procedures involved, and reckless as to the potential huge financial losses to Orthodox Jews globally for no halachic reason. It took him months to get the posek to reverse himself and to publicize his error. This gentleman subsequently was interviewed by The Wall St. Journal and was harshly criticized by many Establishment rabbis for talking to the secular media.
2- This gentleman was a very outspoken advocate to the "Gedolim" on behalf of Rabbi Nosson Slifkin. He challenged the Gedolim/cherem signers, to reconcile R' Slifkin's views with the views of many prominent rabbonim including the Rambam. He did get one "Gadol" to admit that "perhaps" this matter/cherem should have been handled differently. He was so incensed that this young rabbi's life was in shambles (at the time-he is doing well now), that he considered publishing Rabbi Slifkin's writings at his own expense. His rav urged him not to go forward with those plans and he did not.
He obviously is well-connected with the Yeshiva Velt if he was able to accomplish the above. What is also obvious to me that he is now being threatened with "punishment" (he could care less) because he stepped out of line.
UOJ (the authentic one)
The following article appeared many years ago (1930's) in "Dos Yiddish Licht", founded by the saintly Rabbi Shraga Feivel Mendlowitz zt"l for the purpose of strengthening the observance of mitzvos, and to arouse the public concerning kashrut of foods, which at that time was very neglected, and sadly is not any better in our day and age.
The author was the great gaon and tzaddik, the "Shlucha D'Rachmona" of his generation, the "architect" of true Torah values in America, Rabbi Shraga Feivel Mendlowitz zt"l, the founder of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath and Torah U'Mesorah.
(Translated from the Yiddish)
"And if I say: "I will not make mention of him nor speak anymore in his name" then there is in my heart a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I weary myself to hold it in, but cannot (Ver. 20:29)
I use the above prophetic words as a preface to my article concerning kashrus, because this article will not bring honor to me. On the contrary, I will be attacked with ridicule from all sides. But what can I do? A fire is burning within me, and within a thousand Jews like me... A fire, which cannot be extinguished.
The kashrus question has recently been discussed in the Yiddish press, but only one side of the question, viz. concerning the unscrupulous butchers who sell treifos without a hechsher or with a false one. The press has remained silent, however, concerning the second side of the question, about the treifos being sold under rabbinical supervision and under rabbinical signs in butcher shops.
The press is silent about this problem, perhaps because of the honor of the rabbis, or, perhaps, because of other reasons. The honor of the rabbis is dear to me too. But, the honor of the Torah which is lying in the garbage, and the honor of the truth, which is trodden under foot, are dearer to me. Where there is chillul Hashem we do not impart honor to a rabbi, I, therefore come forward with an accusation.
I Accuse!
I accuse many rabbis, who grant hechsherim, who knowingly or otherwise, or out of neglect, permit non-kosher meat to be sold under their stamp of approval both wholesale and retail; the seller is an unscrupulous person with Torah sanction.
I accuse many rabbis, who although they themselves have no part in the hechsherim, nevertheless, know about them and still remain silent. There is a sort of mutual reciprocal agreement to keep quiet about each other's false hechserim. Perhaps it is because they wish to avoid chillul Hashem. They forget, however, that where there is chillul Hashem we do not impart honor to a rabbi.
I accuse the very great rabbis, the leaders of our people, because of internal strife. These disputes are not for the sake of Heaven; if one says that something is prohibited the other must say it is permissible, if one says something is contaminated the other must say it is pure. It is impossible to bring order to the chaotic kashrus situation, especially the chicken and meat markets.
I accuse the rabbis because of whose negligence; the laws of chalav akum have virtually been forgotten. I know that there various heterim for this, but they apply only when it is impossible to get chalav Yisrael. In our situation, however, with a little effort, order could be brought to this chaos, and "if one can be good, why should he be bad?"
I accuse our Orthodoxy, for sleeping the sleep of Choni Ha'maagil, who slept seventy years. They are completely unaware of what is happening around them and how our strongest ramparts are being smashed by our internal foes. They are unaware that all our holy traditions are being trampled underfoot, that our three thousand year old heritage has all but completely disappeared. Yet, Orthodoxy sleeps, but how much longer?
Do you know that all of the fortresses of Judaism, which have heretofore protected us from destruction, the only one left is kashrus, that other mitzvos are observed very laxly even in Orthodox homes? And now kashrus too is being smashed, yet we sleep, but how much longer?
Don't you see what has become of your youth? Don't you know that Jewish children have become tramps, gamblers, gangsters, candidates for the electric chair, and all kinds of "ISTS", only because they have been raised on neveilos and treifos, yet you sleep, but how much longer?
Don't you know that going to the mikvah every day to purify yourself will be to no avail? Not even all the waters in the world can help, not with sheretz tamei (a carcass of a creeping thing) in your hand, but inside of you! And when you daven every morning and evening, or when you learn your daily shiur, don't you know that the breath that emanates from your mouth is the breath of sin because it reeks of neveilos and treifos!? Yet you sleep, but how much longer?
When you wash your hands for bread, or when you make Kiddush on Shabbos, and your table is bedecked with all sorts of delicacies, and you say with each bite, in honor of the Shabbos, you are angering Hashem when you break bread. Yet you sleep, but how much longer?
I know that you will reply, "Jacob is small and poor" But look what Jacob's brother on East Broadway has accomplished, how he erected a fortress through the poor laborers, a fortress against Judaism, because he has united forces. Yet you sleep and do nothing, but how much longer?
Gentlemen! Do a little soul searching and see how far you have strayed; remember that our parents have sacrificed their lives for kiddush Hashem; they allowed themselves to be burned in order to uphold our holy Torah, whereas you are not required to make any sacrifices; with but a handful you can save the situation. Yet you sleep, but how much longer?
Fellow Jews, have you no fear for the great and terrible Day of Judgment? In that day you will no longer be able to come up with excuses or with a shrug of the shoulder.
And I ask you "how much longer?" And I say, "you sleepers, awaken from your slumber!"
Shraga Feivel Mendlowitz
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Sunday, July 30, 2006 | 108 comments
Thursday, July 27, 2006
"What to do with Abusive Rabbis: Halachic Considerations" By Rabbi Mark Dratch
Rabbi Dratch sent this in and asked me to post it. Rabbi Dratch is a very highly qualified individual and specializes in the field of sexual abuse. His web site is: jsafe.org.
He has networked with many qualified individuals able and willing to assist victims of sexual abuse. I endorse his work and he has endorsed mine. All victims of sexual abuse, whether children or women can feel very secure with his professional assistance.
UOJ
click images to enlarge or cut and paste the following link to read the file (PDF format):
http://jsafe.org/pdfs/What_to_do_with_Abusive_Rabbis.pdf
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, July 27, 2006 | 61 comments
A FLYER GOING AROUND THE CATSKILL MOUNTAINS
A reader sent this in...I do not take credit for this one!
PROTECTING OUR CHILDREN
THE JEWISH COMMUNITY SEXUAL PREDATOR LIST
IF YOUR CHILD WAS APPROACHED BY THESE PEOPLE
LET THE AUTHORITIES KNOW
Yeedle Werdyger - Chassidic Singer
(AKA: The Case of The Son of Famous Orthodox Singer and a Haredi Friend)
Yeedle Werdyger and an unnamed haredi friend, were arrested in Jerusalem for enticing teenage girls, some of whom were below the age of 16, to take dangerous drugs and then to have sexual relations with them.
In addition, police said the two men photographed the girls in intimate positions in the bathroom and having sexual relations with other men. The suspects would later show the pictures to their friends. A search of the downtown apartment of one of the suspects turned up the miniature camera that was used
Case of Rabbi Avrohom Mondrowitz RAN AWAY TO ISRAEL
"Brooklyn District Attorney Elizabeth Holtzman's office said Mondrowitz was named in a December 3, 1984, arrest warrant charging him with two counts of sex abuse". Rabbi Avrohom Mondrowitz worked in special education school for boys in Brooklyn, that had connections with Ohel Children and Family Services in Brooklyn, New York. He was responsible for about 20-25 young children who already had either emotional problems and/or learning disabilities
. PROTECTNG OUR CHILDREN
THE JEWISH COMMUNITY SEXUAL PREDATOR LIST
IF YOUR CHILD WAS APPROACHED BY THESE PEOPLE
LET THE AUTHORITIES KNOW
Case of Rabbi Yehuda Kolko - Yeshiva Torah Temimah
(AKA Rabbi Yudi Kolko)
Flatbush (Brooklyn), NY
Rabbi Yudi Kolko and Yeshiva Torah Temimah were hit with a $20 million civil lawsuit on May 5, 2006, accusing him of molesting two students more than 25 years ago.
One of the alleged victims said Rabbi Yehuda Kolko, 60, sexually assaulted him when he was a seventh-grade student.
THIS IS THE FIRST LIST OF UNFORTUNATELY MANY THAT WILL BE POSTED
FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITES
The Awareness Center is the Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault (JCASA)
http://theawarenesscenter.org
http://www.theunorthodoxjew.blogspot.com.
If you have been abused contact these groups they are discrete and can help
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, July 27, 2006 | 10 comments
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
THE SELF DESTRUCTIVE LIFE OF A JEWISH COMMUNITY
by kyle's mom
I promised unorthodox jew I would help him out, and then passed out after a tough day on a new job. Today, as I studied the halacha of preemptive wars, I remembered I promised to write. When I see what's happening in Israel, and get some of those interminable emails where the right writes about the left and the left writes about the right, I am overwhelmed with the amount of sinat chinom and rank stupidity that comes from Jews over my screen.
And I wonder where that hatred comes from and then I think back to my childhood and how we were taught one thing while those around us did the opposite; I remembered how we were judged on narishkeit, and verbally abused, and disrespected as children. I remembered how I was taught that the Torah said one thing, but that my life experience at the hands of those I thought were 'religious' people was something else entirely.
So what is at the root of all of this evil? Where does all the stuff that I and so many others experienced come from?
I believe it comes from fear--from the same kind of fear created through the millennia by our real enemies. And I believe it is the kind of fear that closes people off from themselves and promotes disrespect and hiding behind false walls that cut people off from who they are.
How can Judaism, a religion of reason, morality and ethics, be turned into such a cauldron of obscenity by men and occasionally women who deem it perfectly fine for children to be abused, for women to be battered, for money to be stolen, for the less fortunate than they to be treated with contempt?
By ignoring the basic, simple precepts of the religion and not teaching basic common decency and common sense. We forget to teach our sons that they come from mothers and have sisters who are also human beings and that women are not defiled and corrupt impure creatures that need to be shunned and ignored because they cause kallos rosh. We teach our males to fear our females and our females to fear our males. And we never allow them to connect in normal non-sexual environments. Every time they meet they are only allowed to think about marriage and babies--Instead of how to develop a normal healthy human relationship. In some cases we throw kids who know nothing together and let them sink or swim--to have a dozen babies and no way to care for them or method to raise them.
We live in self-destructive community because basic human relations have been turned into some freak show where men truly are from Mars, women truly are from Venus and never the twain shall meet in anything but some kind of twisted vacuum that prevents real relationships and respect from ever being developed.
We need to get back to the basics--the simple kind of Judaism that Hillel espoused to the non-Jew who came to him after Shammai tossed him out. Hillel said to him, "Don't do anything to anyone else you don't want done to you...now go and study."
As I like to say, he didn't mean kvetch a benkel until you frazzled your family into a welfare case and need to rely on the kindness of strangers. What Hillel meant was go and study the world and try to make it better than you find it...because, if you think about it, Judaism says Bocharta be Chaim....choose life....not misery, not death for 72 virgins, not death for an afterlife. In Judaism there is no glory, really, in being a martyr. We are here for a different reason, to be a light unto the nations.
So I have to ask myself: What happened to that light? How could men decide that women who catch across the top of the head are not risking their lives to stay in violent relationships because batei din don't have the eggs to free them, when indeed they can...
One famous modern Orthodox rabbi told me in front of 400 people that you can't free a battered woman because of giluy aroyot. Well, when Rabbi Gershom and the others made their decisions, we hadn't studied enough to know about DNA, but now we do, so there are no more excuses except bad ones not to free women.
We need to go and study and figure this mess out, because an unorthodx jew said, we lose 100,000 Jews a year--and that is self-destruction on a grand, grand scale.
As I continue to write for unorthodox jew, I will try to figure out some answers, and perhaps be able to explain how I, too, had to learn and break that cycle of abuse, sinat chinom and self-hatred.
kyle's mom
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, July 26, 2006 | 22 comments
PLEASE ATTEND THE "EMES" CONVENTION SPONSORED BY THE AGUDAH!!!
I HOPE NOBODY DIES LAUGHING!
click image to enlarge
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, July 26, 2006 | 29 comments
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Silence of the Lam- Rabbi accused of sexually abusing young boys
http://www.villagevoice.com/news/0630,lombardi,73955,2.html
Silence of the Lam
Accused of sexually abusing young boys, a Brooklyn rabbi left for Israel 22 years ago. Now one alleged victim wants him brought back for trial.
by Kristen Lombardi
July 25th, 2006 11:19 AM
Out of the shadows: Abe asked the Brooklyn D.A. to reopen the case against Rabbi Mondrowitz.
photo:tacy Kranitz
Abe vividly remembers that wall. The "bragging wall," as he's come to call it, was crammed with certificates and diplomas. He remembers fixating on that wall as the Hasidic psychologist advised him on how to be a good boy. He fixated on it, too, when the psychologist sat beside him, the man's hand shoved down his pants, stroking Abe's genitals.
Abe was eight years old, the defiant son of a devout Orthodox Jewish family who was sent to the child psychologist in Borough Park, Brooklyn. Every Sunday for four months in 1984, he'd go for counseling in the modest house on 60th Street. Sessions started with talk of his behavior—his mischief at home, his disobedience at yeshiva. Goals were set, rewards promised. Then, Abe alleges, the psycho- logist's hand would be in his underwear.
"He would fondle and play with my genitals," says Abe, now a thirtyish businessman not willing to publish his last name. For this former Borough Park resident, whose Orthodox faith taught him to revere elders, the encounters were devastating. "I felt very odd, ashamed. I didn't know what to think."
Abe hid the abuse for two decades, not telling a soul, yearning to get on with life. Until, in May, he discovered what had happened to the man he claims molested him: He got away.
That child psychologist was Avrohom Mondrowitz, Abe says, the same one charged with sexually abusing four Brooklyn boys in February 1985. Once a popular radio host whose Orthodox audience had known him as "Rabbi," Mondrowitz skipped town before police could arrest him. He surfaced later in Israel, where he's lived for two decades. (Mondrowitz, now 58 and reportedly in Jerusalem, could not be reached for comment.)
Abe isn't one of those four boys. He stopped his sessions in the summer of 1984, never to see Mondrowitz again. All these years, he's had no idea his alleged abuser was indicted for molesting kids, on charges that included sodomy. Abe learned of the outstanding case from a mention in a May 22 New York article about an ultra-Orthodox rabbi accused of sexual abuse.
Seeing the name in print left Abe stunned. He went online, discovering postings about the self-styled rabbi on sites for Jewish survivors of sexual abuse. Reeling, he contacted an attorney. And last month, he identified himself as a victim to the office of Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes.
Explains Abe, "I could tell this guy was guilty as heck and I had to do something. He needs to be brought to justice."
The D.A.'s office confirms that Abe appeared at its Jay Street headquarters in June. Prosecutors interviewed him and recorded his complaints. Hynes can do little about the allegations because they fall outside the five-year statute of limitations for sex offenses, according to Rhonnie Jaus, chief of the sex crimes bureau. All Hynes can do is try to use Abe's testimony as supporting evidence against Mondrowitz at trial.
Jaus maintains that Hynes is still pursuing the 1985 case. The indictment against Mondrowitz is pending; her bureau remains in touch with the original victims, now in their thirties.
"We stand ready, willing, and able to prosecute him for his heinous crimes," Jaus states. "If he returns to this country, we would arrest him. We would prosecute him. We would do everything we could to achieve justice in this case."
But there's a lot more Hynes could be doing to achieve justice, it seems. The one person who can reopen the push for extradition is the Brooklyn D.A.; he calls the Justice Department, Justice calls State, State calls Israel. That's how it works. Michael Lesher, the New Jersey attorney who represents Abe, believes Hynes could force Mondrowitz to stand trial, if only Hynes would take a more aggressive stance. Past efforts to extradite Mondrowitz failed only because of a technicality. Under a 1962 treaty, the United States and Israel have agreed "reciprocally to deliver up persons found in its territory who have been charged with . . . offenses mentioned [and] committed within the territorial jurisdiction of the other." This U.S.-Israel extradition treaty lists 31 crimes, including rape. You might think the sodomy charges against Mondrowitz would fit that category. In 1985, though, Israeli law defined rape narrowly as "having sexual intercourse with a woman without her free consent." Oral and anal raping of boys—among the acts of which Mondrowitz is accused—weren't crimes by Israeli standards.
Today, that loophole has been all but closed. Israel has amended its rape law to recognize males as potential victims, making the act of forcible sodomy a crime punishable by 20 years in prison. Lesher argues the change opens the door to revisit the case. "In theory," he says, "there's no reason for Hynes not to request extradition."
Extradition lawyers second his opinion. Richard Bierschbach, who teaches criminal law at Cardozo Law School and who has worked on such cases, tells the Voice, "I think he would be extraditable now." Changing the law, he says, effectively changed the treaty. Courts have ruled that modifications to treaties can be applied retroactively, without violating a fugitive's due-process rights. "You can say with a fair degree of confidence that sodomy is now an extraditable offense."
Even Mondrowitz's attorney suggests that extradition isn't out of the question. Reached in his Tel Aviv office, David Ofek says he didn't believe the charges against his client when defending him in the 1980s, and he doesn't now, calling them "all lies." Mondrowitz has not been charged with a crime in Israel. Nor has anyone accused him of child molestation there. In a heavy accent, Ofek adds, "I found him to be a marvelous and gentle person, and I don't think he's touched a child."
Still, Ofek acknowledges that sodomy is a crime equal to rape in Israel—one that, in general, is extraditable. "It's a very serious crime," he says, "and we don't like people like that."
So does that mean his client could be extradited? "After 20 years," he tells the Voice, "try to do it."
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Mondrowitz was a celebrity to start, a Hasidic Frasier of sorts, hosting the call-in program Life Is for Living at the now defunct WNYN radio station, doling out advice over the airwaves. But in a five-page criminal indictment, prosecutors painted Mondro-witz as an insatiable abuser who allegedly preyed on four boys, ages nine to 15, over four years. The 13 counts against him include eight of sexual abuse in the first degree, five of sodomy in the first degree.
The indictment may tell only a fraction of the story, says Sal Catalfumo. Now retired, he was the main sex crimes detective who investigated Mondrowitz for four months beginning in November 1984, when the Brooklyn South precinct got an anonymous tip about a rabbi. "There were a lot of kids and a lot of allegations," he says.
Catalfumo identified about a dozen victims to then Brooklyn D.A. Elizabeth Holtzman, whose office pressed charges on the four strongest cases. He had interviewed dozens more, he says. Initially, investigators had suspected Mondrowitz singled out Orthodox Jewish children who attended his special-education class at a Foster Avenue yeshiva or his child-counseling practice on 60th Street. Catalfumo says he ended up discovering victims from Italian Catholic families living on the same street as Mondrowitz did. Some served as altar boys at a nearby church. Others played with his seven kids. Two were prepubescent sons of Catalfumo's former high school classmate.
"Children told me and my partner that he would be molesting them in one room while their parents would be waiting in the next," Catalfumo recalls. When police searched the office, he says, they uncovered child pornography in the desk drawers.
By the time police had drawn up an arrest warrant, in December 1984, Catalfumo says, "The guy was gone. He escaped, and he's never had to face the music." All these years later, the former investigator cannot quite put this unresolved case behind him. He cannot quite forget about those, like Abe, who claim to be victims.
Confides Catalfumo, "Personally, I'd like to catch this guy. He shouldn't be able to evade prosecution for the rest of his life."
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The Mondrowitz case has also haunted Abe's attorney. Lesher's made a lonely campaign out of researching it, filing freedom-of-information requests to obtain classified records. Beginning in 1999, he spent two years collecting documents from the U.S. State and Justice departments chronicling the feds' battle to extradite the fugitive—a battle that stops in 1993, courtesy of Hynes. Lesher shared his files with the Voice for this article. (The Justice Department declined to comment on the case, referring questions to State; its spokesperson refused even to speak generally about the U.S.-Israel extradition treaty.)
The paper trail starts just as the indictment was about to come down. In January 1985, according to the records, D.A. Holtzman's office began pushing the feds to bring Mondrowitz back to Brooklyn for trial, calling the Justice Department. Two months later, her office made a formal request for "the provisional arrest in Israel of Avrohom Mondrowitz." Prosecutors sent along materials for extradition in September, and kept in contact with their federal counterparts for the next two years. Internal records suggest that Washington officials felt substantial pressure from Holtzman.
"Natives of Brooklyn are becoming restless," reads one February 1986 memorandum, "and we are receiving calls from Kings County District Attorney's Office."
Another cable, dated November 1986, reports that the Israeli official on the case "has from time to time been in telephonic communication directly with the prosecutor's office in New York City to discuss the matter."
Yet another, from March 1987: "Relay the gist of this development to prosecuting attorney handling this case [who] had phoned on February 17."
Now a Manhattan attorney specializing in government relations, Holtzman declined to discuss her office's efforts to seek extradition. "I can tell you that we didn't sit on cases like that in my office," she says.
Still, these early requests were stymied. As early as 1985, Israeli officials had informed the U.S. that rape, under Israeli law, didn't cover sodomy. "The Mondrowitz case as presented cannot be acted upon under the terms of the existing U.S.-Israel extradition agreement," states an April 1985 cable.
Federal officials got creative and asked Israel to consider expelling Mondrowitz, then an American citizen on a tourist visa. For years, the case sat in a kind of legal limbo.
And then, in February 1987, after a change in leadership, the Israeli Interior Ministry ordered Mondrowitz deported to Brooklyn. Ofek appealed to the Israeli Supreme Court, asking for a stay and seeking access to the U.S. extradition package. It included four affidavits from John Doe victims. It also included a letter, purportedly written by a Borough Park social worker, charging that Mondrowitz had infected 28 boys with HIV/AIDS. The claim would be stunning now; back then, it was made more so by the fact that so many people didn't understand the virus.
"When you say, 20 years ago, that the man had infected children with AIDS, it means that the man would kill children," Ofek says. There were no drug cocktails in 1987. Not many hospitals in Israel could administer an HIV test. Eventually, Ofek says, his client found one. The results came back negative. The court threw out the deportation order. "The United States wanted extradition and the Israeli government wanted to deport him—and I stopped it."
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To hear Hynes's office tell it now, extradition represents the one barrier to prosecuting this case. Just last May, Jaus says, her bureau reviewed its files and consulted with Israeli legal authorities, as well as federal officials. The verdict? "Under the current treaty," she reports, "he is charged with a non- extraditable offense."
Or not. In 1988, Israel amended its rape law to cover the act of homosexual rape. Internal federal letters make note of the change, urging a second look at extradition.
"An amendment to the Israeli penal code . . . presents us, we believe, with an opportunity to reopen the extradition case of Avrohom Mondrowitz," reads one March 1988 telegram from the American embassy in Tel Aviv to the State Department in Washington, D.C.
Interestingly, no records show that federal officials called Holtzman to relay the news. And there is nothing to suggest that her office was keeping abreast of the developments, or even knew about the change. Just when the U.S. may have gained proper grounds to extradite Mondrowitz, the paper trail fades.
But if Holtzman missed a key opportunity, Hynes has apparently plain sat on the case. He became the D.A. in 1990. In the federal file, there is no record of any activity from Hynes on the matter until 1993, when Justice officials called his office. That's when he all but dropped the case—approving a decision to end extradition attempts for good.
As one September 1993 Justice Department letter details, prosecutors "contacted our office and advised that they would not be pursuing the case any further at this time."
"Hynes has never been hot to extradite Mondrowitz," charges Lesher. Why would Hynes allow a fugitive to evade prosecution through an old loophole, especially when a new victim has come forward to testify? "It's a compelling argument," observes Mary- ellen Fullerton, who teaches international criminal law at Brooklyn Law School. "If I were the Brooklyn D.A., I'd consider it."
Bruce Zagaris, an extradition lawyer in Washington, D.C., notes that the U.S.-Israel treaty is being updated, and that the new protocol would make it even easier to deliver up someone, like Mondrowitz, whose alleged acts haven't fallen neatly into the list of specified offenses. The protocol would replace the list with a provision defining any offense extraditable "as long as the crime is punishable by one year or more and as long as it's a crime in both countries."
So, Zagaris offers, "Yes, I'd say this guy is extraditable. And under this new protocol, there is even more of a chance that he could be."
At the very least, argues Bierschbach, the Cardozo professor, "you cannot flat-out say that he's not extraditable. You can make the argument, but it's weak."
Even so, Hynes spokesperson Jerry Schmetterer maintains, flatly: "After reviewing the files and consulting with authorities, our position remains that under the current treaty, Mondrowitz cannot be extradited. . . . He was charged with sodomy and the treaty has changed. It's our position this change is not retroactive."
Told that experts say otherwise, he snaps, "That's fine. You write your story. This is the position of the district attorney."
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Maybe Hynes has his own reasons for not pushing extradition. In Brooklyn politics, the Orthodox community can wield considerable influence. Political consultant Hank Sheinkopf explains, "They vote, and they vote in large numbers often." He estimates that the Orthodox population accounts for some 30 percent of the borough's electorate, from Williamsburg to Crown Heights, Borough Park, Flatbush, and Midwood. Especially in ultra-Orthodox areas, rabbis tend to pick candidates and congregants cast votes accordingly.
"The rabbis are very important because they tell their followers who to get behind," says Sheinkopf. For a politician, he says, that means "you have to play to them."
Hynes has worked hard to court the community over the years. In 1990, he became the first D.A. in the city to convene a Jewish advisory council, which kept leaders abreast of cases involving Jewish defen-dants or complainants. The council is now defunct, says Schmetterer, replaced by the office's full-time liaison to the Hasidic community, Henna White, herself a Lubavitcher. (He refused to let the Voice interview White for this article, saying, "It wouldn't be her place to talk about this case.") Hynes has been commended for launching such initiatives as Project Eden, a Hasidic-sanctioned program that reaches out to ultra-Orthodox victims of domestic violence.
Aaron Twerski, the dean of Hofstra Law School and a former council member, describes Hynes's relationship to the Orthodox community as "quite positive." He explains, "Hynes is a presence in the community. He's been responsive."
But Hynes has bumped up against the community before. The most dramatic example came in 1999, when the D.A.'s office charged a prominent Hasidic rabbi named Bernard Freilich with witness tampering and intimidation for allegedly making death threats against an Orthodox woman who was to testify in a sex-abuse case. The community reacted with fury, organizing demonstrations, accusing Hynes of anti-Semitism. Freilich wound up acquitted at a 2000 trial.
Lesher says the D.A. has a habit of backing down from prosecutions that Orthodox rabbinical leaders would rather handle themselves. He has researched two instances where the D.A. initiated criminal proceedings against accused Hasidic abusers, only to let them fizzle. In each, he notes, "it was community opposition that spelled the difference."
With Mondrowitz, the Orthodox community hasn't exactly clamored for justice. No one dared talk publicly about the scandal when it broke. Catalfumo says rabbis refused to answer questions, parents refused to file complaints. Even those who wanted to see Mondrowitz punished—or dead—wouldn't cooperate with authorities, the detective says, for fear their kids would become tainted by a trial.
Catalfumo doubts the D.A. would do anything to upset the Orthodox community today, and he doubts the community would want to revisit the case. "Let's face it, I don't think they're interested in seeing this surface again," he says. Indeed, Orthodox rabbis and politicians who remember the Mondrowitz case declined to talk about it with the Voice. One Borough Park resident with ties to the same Hasidic sect as Mondrowitz offered this opinion: "Once a case has been put to sleep, it's best to leave it alone."
Twerski, of Hofstra, advocates "zero tolerance" in the community for sexual abuse. But when told about the newly vocal Mondrowitz victim and his desire to reopen the case, Twerski replies, "I don't know what to say about that. That's an old, old case and I'm not going to comment on it."
Jaus, for her part, bristles at the suggestion of special treatment. In 2000, her bureau got word from State officials that Mondrowitz was returning to the States. It contacted the original four victims. It had D.C. police ready to arrest him. He never showed up.
"If we heard this information again, we'd do the same thing," she states.
Those words offer little consolation to Abe. Sitting in the dining room at his attorney's suburban home, Abe hunches over the table, his arms across his chest, his eyes on his Blackberry, as he relays what he told prosecutors on June 7. How Mondrowitz had begun molesting him during a counseling session one day, and wound up making it routine. How the psychologist had even invited him upstairs, and fondled him there.
Abe had hoped his testimony would inspire Hynes to push for extradition, he says. "I came away with the realization that my experience is a footnote in a case the D.A. won't do anything about."
At least, Abe believes, not without incentive. So on June 24, he contacted an anonymous blogger known as Un-Orthodox Jew, who has posted controversial diatribes about sexual abuse and cover-up in the Hasidic world. Abe posted his own entry, writing:
"MONDROWITZ ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! Has anyone contacted you as being a victim of Avrohom Mondrowitz? . . . There is renewed interest in this case & . . . I am trying to find out if other victims have also recently come forward so that we can pool our resources & pressure the DA's office."
So far, he's received little response, though two Orthodox Jewish men who claim to be victims of Mondrowitz have contacted the Voice, expressing a desire to bring him back.
To Abe, it all seems so upside down—the way Hynes didn't push for extradition in 1993, the way he won't now. That his alleged abuser can live in Israel, his whereabouts known, yet run around scot-free, seems almost as bad as the abuse.
As Abe confides, "That makes it seem like a big slap in the face by the D.A."
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Tuesday, July 25, 2006 | 72 comments
Saturday, July 22, 2006
UOJ WILL NOT THROW IN THE TOWEL-BECAUSE HE CAN'T!
I must admit, I was really upset on Friday for a very brief period of time.
The truth is that nobody would be caught dead at the house of fress owned by a sleaze-ball like Lipa. I was realistically asking myself if people are going to do something serious about the corruption of power infested like termites in wood in the Orthodox Jewish community. This corruption permitted sexual abusers to exist in broad daylight without much fear of being exposed. People say; he only touched his tuchis, he only talked sex in middle of the night with kids he yanked out of bed, this happened years ago, he is an old man past his sexual prime...leave him alone, and on and on and on.
So what do I do? I have stumbled upon behavior by rabbis that should put them in jail. Not all rabbis, not even the majority of them, but a very large minority of them are evil and rotten to the core. Oh, you say, come on that is just not true! I ask you, kindly look around you, has your rabbi or rosh yeshiva spoken about sexual abuse in the community from the pulpit? Of course not, there's dead silence!
You know why, because they ALL know it's true and are afraid of rocking their leaking boat. This makes them complicit to the crimes that are perpetrated on our children; and in a court of law they would be considered co-conspirators if they knew about a crime and tacitly permitted it to happen by not contacting the authorities with that information.
For example; let's say Lipa knew Yudi was molesting kids and kept him around children for his own personal reasons anyway. Let's say the D.A. decides to criminally prosecute Lipa. If that can be proven in court, that Lipa knew a crime was happening under his watch and not only didn't stop it, but did not call the police; if a jury is convinced of that fact, Lipa goes to jail.
UOJ will continue because it must! This blog turned out to be the pipeline to sanity in the Orthodox world. Parents write to me, a nine year old child writes me that he's being abused, a seventy year old woman writes to me that her life was destroyed because she was molested as a very young child. I could go on, but I think you get the message. This blog filled a much needed void, and I don't intend to abrogate the authority given to me by the people needing a place to turn to for help.
However, I must change the way I operate. I can no longer be a one man band. I need help desperately, no money, just help. I need people who agree with me to volunteer to share this responsibility with me. I will expect that these people will be highly intelligent, very caring about our plight, and very well respected by their peers. No confidence of any person who contacts us will ever be violated. We must get rid of this enemy before they destroy Judaism. Children are leaving the fold in droves. The latest numbers are that 100,000 people are leaving Orthodox Judaism yearly. That means one million people that could have made a difference to the well-being of the Jews will have gone away in the next ten years! Do not think that those numbers will not affect you; if it won't be your child, it very well may be your grandchild.
I will be sending out e-mails to people that I have communicated with over the past year or more. I will ask you to get directly involved. I will be contacting both males and females. I urge anyone that cares about our future to please contact me at: a_unorthodoxjew@yahoo.com. I would like therapists, attorneys, doctors and caring rabbis to contact me along with all people of good will. You will be assigned your own passcode to get into the new site that we will open together. You will post your own feelings and sentiments. The more people that join our group, the better all of us will be. We can monitor each other by running our thoughts by each other. We can reduce the corruption by your participation. The evildoers will continue to fear us and that may hopefully prevent their criminal behavior or negligence from proliferating.
I need your help, I can no longer do it alone. I am not capable of responding to thousands of e-mails and comments per week. I have approximately 23,000 e-mails and comments that I never opened. I have no idea if kids are pleading for help or parents are begging for my intervention. And finally, I am not a professional therapist, I am not capable of advising victims what is in their best interests. I do know one thing with absolute certainty; I have saved many of our children from committing suicide, running away from home, and hurting themselves by drowning their sorrows in alcohol and drugs.
I do not want any credit for anything, I just want to make our world a better place for all of us. Please volunteer; if I e-mail you please respond affirmatively. If I do not know you, please contact me, your identity will never be exposed if you so choose.
I will not throw in the towel on our children, I will not throw in the towel on our people, and I will not throw in the towel, so our ancestors would not have died in vain.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Saturday, July 22, 2006 | 141 comments
Thursday, July 20, 2006
ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A RESTAURANT THAT WAS CALLED KOSHER FOR FORTY FIVE YEARS UNTIL..............
There was this restaurant in a very Jewish neighborhood that was owned and run single-handedly by a man with a long beard, and always wore long black clothing and a big black hat even as he stirred the chicken soup.
The entire neighborhood frequented this fleishig (meat) restaurant because they trusted him to serve them kosher food. He certainly looked the part of a religious person; always said baruch Hashem when asked how he was. Everyone was so pleased with this restaurant; it was convenient, well-maintained, housed in a new building, and very upscale. A regular family that was middle-income could not afford to eat there because the prices were very expensive. Yet, everyone wanted to be seen there, and everyone was anxious to tell their friends that they ate there.
So for forty five years people were under the impression that the owner of this restaurant was an upstanding person that they could trust implicitly with kashrus.
One day this person was called to a din Torah for absconding with millions of dollars from his previous employer, and all the proprietary information which was the exclusive property of his previous employer. Not only that, this nice and honest individual used the EXACT same name of his previous employer's restaurant, because his employer's restaurant was considered the finest in New York, was established for fifty years prior, and was frequented by all of the most prominent rabbis.
This restaurant owner, for simplicity purposes, let's call him Lipa. So Lipa hemmed and hawed for years, dragged his feet, delayed and delayed until he could delay no more. Ultimately bais din ruled that he MUST return all the money taken under false pretenses, change the name of his restaurant, and was forbidden to use any and all contacts that he had stolen from his previous employer.
Of course Lipa denied ever doing such terrible things, but in order for him to demonstrate what a nice guy he was, he changed the name of his restaurant. He never returned the stolen money and continued to use ALL the proprietary information that he had stolen from his previous employer. That shrewd devil kept on contacting his previous employer's customer base and insisted that his food was MUCH MORE KOSHER than his previous employer's; in matter of fact that was the reason he left, the food at that restaurant was NOT kosher enough for him.
Time passed and Lipa's restaurant was prospering. Rumors started to surface however that Lipa's employee in charge of the kashrut, was sneaking in non-kosher food into the establishment, because the non-kosher meat was younger and softer, just more pleasant to handle. Let's call this employee Yudi for identification purposes.
Now Yudi used to sneak this non-kosher meat in through the basement when nobody was looking. Yudi loved the excitement of touching this young, tender, non-approved meat.
Since the restaurant was doing so well, Yudi was now in line for a promotion.Yes, Yudi was promoted to handle ALL the youngest of fresh meat and poultry. Lipa was so happy, business was booming.
Now there was a group of people that saw Yudi sneaking in non-kosher meat, so they called the restaurant to bais din. The problem was bais din said the cows and chickens were not reliable witnesses. Moreover a real famous rabbi, you know, like a real life gadol said, that since nobody saw Yudi actually penetrate the cow with his jagged knife, which would render the animal not kosher, the meat must be assumed kosher.
The bais din dismissed without a verdict, rendering Yudi a reliable kosher young meat supervisor. Despite the ugly rumors continuing, Yudi and Lipa were happy as pigs in shit.
But there was one guy in the neighborhood who knew this was a sham. So he stood on his soapbox on Ocean Parkway and ranted and raved like a lunatic that this bais din was a sham and that Lipa and Yudi were guilty as charged. Everyone dismissed this guy as a nut case, he just hated rabbis with long beards and black clothing.
Day after day this nut job pulled out his soapbox and ranted and ranted and ranted.
Then one day people started contacting this crazy and said they saw Yudi sneaking in and touching this forbidden meat. Before you knew it tens of people came forward with exact details how Yudi did this.
A famous attorney extremely experienced in meat handling illegally, was convinced that the Lipa and Yudi team were guilty as hell. So convinced was he, that he agreed that he would not be paid unless he won the lawsuit. This attorney never lost an improper meat handling case yet.
Dear readers, please comment and tell me if you would trust the kashrus and eat in this restaurant ever again.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, July 20, 2006 | 82 comments
Monday, July 17, 2006
THE FIRST DOCUMENTED ABUSE CASE AT NER ISRAEL RABBINICAL COLLEGE BY A DORMITORY SUPERVISOR
This story was sent to me by The Awareness Center....Israel Fishman wanted his story publicized. He passed away recently.
The sole purpose of me posting this is to demonstrate that molestation of children by people in authority is not a new phenomena; how it took Israel fifty years to tell his story, and that the very graphic details of his molestation were absolutely burned into his memory for his entire life. He was continually physically molested by NTL until he left the yeshiva. Sexual molestation generally begins by encouraging children to openly discuss their private personal behavior, talking about their innermost normal thoughts, converting them into sins and horrible guilt. Once the victim's secrets are exposed, the predator uses that information to threaten the victim with exposure, and now can perpetrate their crime with little fear of being exposed. In just about every case of sexual abuse that I'm aware of, the abusers' MO are practically identical.
UOJ
by Israel Fishman
Please note the following is graphic. The article below tells of the experiences of an incest survivor that occurred over 50 years ago.
The following took place in 1953. I am not quite 15 years old and the youngest student at the Ner Israel Rabbinical Academy in Baltimore Maryland, which was then located at 4411 Garrison Boulevard.
When I arrived a few months earlier I had been the second youngest student, but the boy who was then the youngest was caught in flagrant delicto with another boy and was tossed out. The boy's father, a rabbi from Richmond, Virginia was the mashgiakh (kosher supervisor) for the large FFV Baking Company there. He must have come in to stay for that particular Sabbath, as traveling on that day is strictly forbidden.
So on that sacred day he approached the head of the Yeshiva, Rabbi Jacob L. Ruderman, who was sitting at the front of the large bais medrash (study hall) pleading with him to give his son a second chance. In front of all the students and teachers, Rabbi Ruderman screamed at the boy's father that he could not talk with him because the matter was absolutely closed, and that the boy must leave immediately. Meanwhile I am living in constant fear that either somebody in the yeshiva will find out all my dark secrets, or that God will surely punish me most severely for my unmentionable, abominable sins.
All the time, however I can't stop thinking of the beautifully gorgeous, angelic looking, red-haired and freckled boy, Hochberg from Hartford, and what might have been. I still shudder when I recall the recent Friday night when a whole bunch of fellow students came to visit me in my dorm room when I was sick. It was a Friday night there were no lights on in the room and all sat or stood around in total darkness. Hochberg, though, sat on my bed, and put his hand under the blanket and groped me. I was so scared, because I was worried that it was an entrapment, and I remained absolutely soft. This is the yeshiva environment in which the following event is taking place.
I have just shut the lights leaving my room for the study hall's evening session. It is a weekday and therefore we have study sessions every evening. Before I actually leave the room I feel somebody's hand on my shoulder who gently but firmly leads me back into my room. The lights remain turned off. His name is NTL. He is an older bokhur, that is, one of the senior students who took responsibility for the moral training of the younger students on a one-to-one basis.
He leads me to the bed where he sits very closely besides me and holds me very tightly around the waist. He is stronger and more powerful than I am. He is also an older bokhur that you have to respect and listen to. I was immobile and frozen.
He tells me that he could tell from the lines under my eyes that I was masturbating (which I already knew was a grave sin, that is the masturbation and not the lines under the eyes per se!), Before long I am confessing to him all the other evil things that I had been doing, including the sex that I had had for many years with my older brother, Calmin. I tell him that it had gone on for nearly six years and had only ended when we separated a few months earlier, with him going to seminary in Cleveland and I, as I said earlier, coming to Baltimore. I feel so relieved in unburdening myself to someone who is so interested in me.
Through the whole long evening (and it feels that it it a very long evening) I am so scared and afraid, feeling that I dare not make a single move, let alone excuse myself to take a pee, which is getting more and more urgent.
I continue to remain in NTL's close embrace, although by now we are standing against a closet door with one of my hands squeezed against the doorknob. By now I don't know what is hurting more, my hand against the doorknob, or having to pee so urgently. But still I dare not move. I am trapped.
NTL makes me promise that I will never, ever, urinate standing up (because doing that I would be touching myself and that might very well lead to masturbation). I must also immediately train myself to sleep only on my side, and not on my belly or back (in order to avoid having a nocturnal emission, which, of course, is also sinful). I am to tell him every time that I transgressed, even if it was just a matter of having a wet dream. Finally, he tells me that I am so indebted to him for what he is doing for me that, even if I had a million dollars, I would have to give it all to him.
I have no awareness of how long I am with NTL; only that my hand is hurting and that I need to pee so badly. I am so afraid of him and I am so overwhelmed by this evening. No one has ever talked to me at such length and especially helping me to overcome my sinful desires.
I have no idea or comprehension where this evening's experience and my relationship with NTL will undeniably and inescapably take me, and what tragic and painful consequences I will have to endure down the road. But all that is in the future (or at least four or so months away.).
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Monday, July 17, 2006 | 197 comments
Thursday, July 13, 2006
THE REAL PROBLEM IS NOT TALKING ABOUT “IT” TO OUR CHILDREN, AT HOME AND IN SCHOOL-PART TWO
The attorney continues.......
What I write below will likely not be news to any of the intelligent people who read this blog and support UOJ but may be news to some people on the fringe.
The most upsetting part of the whitewash meeting held at YTT in June in which David Mandel and Aron Twerski spoke – besides Rabbi Twerski’s undeserved, premature, ill-timed and ill-advised “haskamah” of Margo as “a man of great honor” - is this part of the story as reported by Jennifer Friedlin in the Jewish Week:
“[W]hen an audience member asked whether sex education could help to strengthen children’s knowledge of inappropriate behavior and empower them to come forward if someone violated them, Mandel responded that sex education was ‘not something realistic’ in a community that stresses modesty.”
There is so much wrong with that sentence, that it sends shivers up my spine.
1. Sexual abuse has about as much to do with sex and sex education, as rape has to do with making love.
What we have learned over the past thirty years is that rape is not a sex act but an act of violence and violation, of dominance, control and power. Many rapists, although clearly not all, have difficulty finding voluntary sexual partners. While they do achieve their own sexual gratification during the rape, it is through fear, power, intimidation, (and not through the intimacy shared between lovers) that is the tool to their climax. It is sick, perverse, criminal and traumatizing.
Similarly, sexual abuse of minors is not an act of love. It is a sick, perverse act of seduction of the helpless, of taking advantage by wielding power, intimidation, humiliation and violence. It is no less traumatizing than rape – for in it’s essence, it is rape.
2. Although sex education should be taught in all yeshivas, one can teach about sexual abuse without even using the term “sex” – and without getting into the mechanics of sex and sexual education.
We have really great educators who have spent decades testing age appropriate sexual education from very young ages (e.g., 4-6-year-olds and up), and every study shows that it does not cause an increase in teenage sexual activity – despite our primitives beliefs in the Orthodox and Ultra-Orthodox community to the contrary.
But lets say we’re right. Let’s say that Mandel is right – that sex education in a community that stresses modesty is not realistic.
Teaching about abuse and about unwanted touching of a child’s private parts, and what is inappropriate behavior on the part of parents, teachers, Rabbis, and camp counselors, has nothing to do with sex! It can be taught without causing nightmares, without causing trauma, without talking about the mechanics of sex, etc.
There are well-trained, frum professionals: social workers, psychologists, doctors and nurses who are ready to come into our schools and inform our kids in a way that will make them feel less traumatized and less stigmatized about what has happened to them and about coming forward. It can be discussed by these professionals in a frum and tzne’usdikeh way.
But we refuse to do it. Why??? Because we are our own kids worst enemy. We are led by small-minded naysayers, by the “sha-shtill” crowd – the Margulies, the Twerskis, the Mandels, the Shafrans, the Schicks of our world - who believe that if we don’t talk about it, if we hush it up, it is a smaller problem that it really is, it will go away or it won’t even exist.
WE ARE SICK!
Not too long ago, I remember when the more modern yeshivos were faced with the following dilemma: They became fully aware of the fact that there are anorexics and bulimics in the girls’ schools. They knew there are drug experimenters among the boys and the girls. But if we teach them about the evils of these practices, aren’t we admitting to the world that THE KIDS IN OUR SCHOOL ARE BAD KIDS? Won’t the schools NOT tackling these problems point at those who do and say “They have that problem; not us.” And won’t that cause parents to enroll their kids elsewhere?
To an extent, the yeshivos were right. Small-minded people sometimes do think that way. But to their credit they came up with a solution. The modern day schools all banded together and decided to introduce those topics into their schools AT THE SAME TIME. They said, “We don’t know if it’s a problem here, but we do know it exists and we want to help our kids avoid it. So we’re not going to stick our heads in the sand ever again.” And besides the education they offered to their high school students, they made parents attend sessions at night on these topics. I attended them more than once. They had yeshiva kids who had been through drug rehab come and tell their first hand stories and talk about how wasted they were and how they almost lost their lives. Let me tell you, there is nothing more disturbing and nothing leaves a greater impression on you, than seeing a boy in a yarmulke or a girl in a long black skirt tell you about how they woke up after a three-day drug binge and didn’t know what day or time it was, where they were, or in whose bed they had slept – and what they had done there.
I thank God that those yeshivos had the courage to institute this education.
We need the same courage to introduce the subject of sexual abuse. And it cannot be limited to the modern yeshivos. It has to be across the board, in every one of them, including the chasidishe ones.
3. We have to teach all our children in school about inappropriate touching. We have to teach them about child abuse and the difference between a “potch” and a beating. We have to talk to our children about spousal abuse. And who to talk to if they witness it and how to report it.
And it can’t be reported to our existing ill-equipped rebbeim and principals. It has to be appropriately trained counselors, ombudsman and watchdogs.
And this education must take place in the schools for the following reasons:
(A) Most parents will not discuss it with their children at home.
(B) Most parents are not trained to discuss it properly.
We must have blanket education of all of our kids on this subject in a uniform manner in order for it to be most effective.
I’ve seen and reviewed the Torah Umesorah guidelines on child abuse. In and of themselves, they are not bad. The problem is: (1) They have not been uniformly and widely implemented, and are NOT mandatory (2) Without educating all our children about abuse, the guidelines are meaningless even if they were implemented and (3) There is no one in place who is appropriately trained for our children to report abuse to.
We can talk to our girls about taharas hamishpacha, we can discuss in graphic detail their menstrual flow, about why they should use sanitary napkins and not tampons, about why they should not hand a sefer directly to a rebbe – but we can’t talk (to our girls and our boys) about inappropriate touching!? I find that absurd.
I know that there are some stickers in frum homes with an abuse hotline number on it. But it is not in enough homes.
I guarantee you that for every call to Hatzalah, there is someone who should be calling or wants to call an abuse hotline, but doesn’t know whom to call. There should be an abuse hotline sticker under every Hatzalah sticker in every Jewish home.
And none of that matters if we don’t educate our kids in school about what abuse is and isn’t.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, July 13, 2006 | 99 comments
Monday, July 10, 2006
THE REAL PROBLEM IS NOT TALKING ABOUT "IT" TO OUR CHILDREN, AT HOME AND IN SCHOOL
A noted frum criminal defense attorney writes
e-mail: dbpesq@gmail.com
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THE REAL PROBLEM IS NOT TALKING ABOUT "IT" TO OUR CHILDREN, AT HOME AND IN SCHOOL
PART 1
Before I write about "the real problem," which everyone has their own opinion about, and everyone is right about, I need to say a few words of introduction about the disingenuousness of Rabbi Avi Shafran.
Rabbi Shafran, whom I have never met, is one of the best "spin doctors" in the world. He is an amazing writer and he does the best job of defending, deflecting, spinning, distracting, etc. everyone from negative attention on Agudah and the Haredi world. I truly and sincerely admire him. And I admire the fact that many newspaper editors – most notably, Gary Rosenblatt at the Jewish Week – will rightfully give him a forum to respond any time he feels there is a need for an Agudah response. I enjoy an open dialogue and reading his/Agudah's point of view.
That said, his recent article entitled "A Matter of Orthodox Abuse" responding to Robert Kolker's NY Magazing article on the Kolko-Torah Temimah sexual abuse and cover-up lawsuits, was Rabbi Shafran at his best – and yet glaringly disingenuous. Robert Kolker himself has done a much better job of responding to Rabbi Shafran than I could ever do. Let me pick his article apart, however, with two additional points.
Rabbi Shafran attempts to quell the panic about sexual abuse in the Orthodox community with a two-pronged approach: (1) There are no statistics, so why assume it is so bad? On the contrary, it's probably not as bad as it is in other segments of the American population, because… (2) "A Torah-observant life does not lead to aberrant behavior; it helps prevent it… That fundamental Jewish truth that human inclinations are harnessed and controlled by Torah-life and Torah-study is self-evident to anyone truly familiar with the Orthodox community."
Let's take them one at a time. Let's first deal with a lack of statistics or a lack of information.
Imagine, if you will, that you are walking about five blocks from your home when you get a text message on your phone that your 4-year-old daughter fell down a flight of stairs inside your home, with no information about the extent of her injuries. Let's assume you do not have the presence of mind to call home, or you do and the line is busy. Do you: (A) assume the best, that she fell only a few steps, and onto carpeting and is resilient enough to stand up and walk it off – and therefore you walk home at a leisurely pace, OR do you (B) assume the worst, that she is severely injured with broken bones and you, therefore, run home to see what you can do to help?
Project the same hypothetical about hearing from a neighbor that there is smoke coming out of your living room window – with no one at home. Do you assume the fire is contained to, say, a waste basket and walk home leisurely or do you run home afraid your house is burning down?
Without commenting on the Kolko case, Rabbi Shafran admits that "abuse of children unquestionably exists in the Orthodox community," but gives you the impression that, although there are no statistics and no one – including him – knows the extent of the abuse, it is wise to assume that it's not so bad.
Rabbi Shafran, your (our) house is on fire, you don't know the extent of the fire, and you are taking a leisurely walk home – a "shpatzeir" – to check on it! How amazingly absurd! There is nothing more Jewish than when there is a problem and we don't know the extent of it, to assume the worst.
(By the way, notice how carefully worded his big "admission" is: He calls it "child abuse" avoiding the term "sexual abuse," so that what he is admitting to could be "potching on the tuchis too hard." He does not mention rabbis or teachers or even a school setting; instead he talks about "in the Orthodox community," with which, if pressed for details, he could say he means parental abuse. And by saying "Orthodox" rather than Haredi he could be pointing a finger at Modern Orthodox and imply that it's less of a problem (or non-existent) in the yeshivish and chasidish world… See, I told you he was good!)
His second prong of the attack is even more absurd than his first. We would all like to believe that a religious lifestyle and dedication to God means a more ethical and moral way of living – and for most people, it truly does. Furthermore, most Jews respect those of other religions who are "frum" within their beliefs. Most Jews will tell you that they'd rather have as a boss or neighbor "a frum goy" than a non-religious Jew. Yet, when we observed the Catholic priest scandal it didn't shock us. We were rather smug in our attitude. It seemed NOT to be inconsistent for us that there are large numbers (again, no statistics) of Catholic priests who are homosexual pedophiles. Why doesn't their situation cause us concern about ours? Is it just because we know that their religion is wrong? Certainly their most religious, most pious leaders, believe, act and preach virtually the same morals and ethics that we do. And yet, so many OF THEM are flawed. Could we not have as many, and possibly more?
And how does one define morality and ethics? Is it limited to sexual abuse and deviation? Or does it broadly include business ethics and money matters? Although there are no statistics, if I told you that a higher percentage of Orthodox Jews cheat on their taxes than, say, Protestant Americans, would that shock you? Would you be as offended and protest? Of course not. It seems to be accepted and acceptable – and may even be a source of pride, since some call it a "mitzvah" – that we lie on our 1040's and cheat Uncle Sam out of as much money as we feel we can get away with.
(I recently became aware of this scam: In a certain Chasidic community, a major girls high school has done away with 12 th grade. Why? See if you can follow this: Many of their girls get married at 18. They marry religiously, and not civilly. When they give birth to their children, they file for welfare as unwed mothers. They recently found out that unwed mothers who did NOT graduate high school are entitled to a greater stipend than those who did graduate. To make sure their girls avoid the temptation of getting a diploma, this school did away with 12th grade.)
Why are we so foolish, so "na'arish", as to believe that we frum Jews can tacitly agree that it is acceptable to file for food stamps and get section 8 housing even though we are earning too much money to qualify for it but because it's a cash business or we're getting paid off the books, and that this lack of morality would not affect our sexual morality? That when we rationalize one thing, why do we deny it will cause us to rationalize others?
When our sages said "Mitzvah goreres mitzvah, v'aveirah goreres aveirah," they didn't mean that an doing an aveirah would cause us to do the same sin again. They meant that rationalizing one sin will cause us to rationalize another sin.
STAY TUNED FOR PART 2 IN WHICH I GET TO THE REAL PROBLEM.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Monday, July 10, 2006 | 188 comments
Thursday, July 06, 2006
NER ISRAEL RABBINICAL COLLEGE OF BALTIMORE HAS A SEXUAL PREDATOR-R' MOSHE EISEMANN AND WILL NOT TERMINATE HIM!
The Victims Write And Their Stories Are Verified!
When I was --- years old, I was a talmid of Ner Israel. At that time, the Mashgiach Ruchni was Rabbi Moshe Eisemann. I became close to him and trusted him totally like a father figure. He is a very sick man. He would tell me he loved me and would hug and kiss me inappropriately. In this day and age, what rebby does this? He tried to control me by telling me loshon harah against my friends and family, and by telling my best friend not to be friends with me, and other ways.
I was very uncomfortable, but thought I was crazy for thinking he was weird. One day, he felt up my rear end IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BEIS MEDRASH! I couldn't believe it. I was shocked, angry and dismayed. But I did not have the guts to even say excuse me, what the hell are you doing. I did have the guts to tell my parents that he was "bothering " me and my mom called him and told him to stay away. He did not listen at first, but had the nerve to approach me a couple more times and to write me a letter threatening that love can easily turn to hate. I may still have that letter.
I know that this story does not sound like much, but there is more. Shortly thereafter, a friend of mine had problems and was thrown out of the dorm. Rabbi Eisemann offered to take him into his house. One night in the middle of the night, thinking my friend was asleep, Rabbi Eisemann went in and put his hand under the cover, and groped my friend's privates. My friend was only ---. He was horrified. The next day he told ......., who went to the hanhalla. Rabbi Herman Neuberger, A"H, reacted by saying that the boy had to leave the yeshiva.
My friend was devastated. He came to me to ask me to come forward. Es Chatai Ani Mazkir Hayom, I wasn't ready completely. I told him if there was any other way to save his brother, he should do it, but if not I would come forward. He found another victim whose father was a huge gvir and who had also been touched inappropriately. So my friend was allowed to stay.
Reb Tzvi Berkowitz,the son-in-law of Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky of Philadelphia, told my friend not to tell anyone what happened because it could be bad for the yeshiva.
I have suffered for years. Only years later was I able to tell my parents what truly happened. I have still not been able to confront the yeshiva satisfatorily on this issue.A few years ago, I DID tell Shragi Neuberger about it. He is a rebby, and Rabbi Neuberger's son and we were close once upon a time. He did not deny the problem. There had been a bochur who told Reb Dovid Cohen a similar story (a Russian bochur with no political clout) but that the story was "unsubstantiated".
I'm here to substantiate the fact that R. Eisemann has a real problem. What to do, the follow up phone calls have gotten us nowhere. I want to go further, but am afraid of being hurt personally by the yeshiva.
What I would like to know from you is, do you have a way to investigate and find others who have been affected? I'm sure there are. I found another person who said that he was also was felt up on three occassions, and although he was not traumatized he decided to stay away from Rabbi Eisemann. His story happened several years after mine. He also knows of one other person. By the way, I was traumatized mostly because of the relationship I had with Rabbi Eisemann, and also by the covering up and complete lack of caring on the part of the yeshiva. It is true that what happened to me from a sexual standpoint was "not as bad" as some other stories. After all there was no penetration, right??? There might not be a lawsuit, but is that really necessary even at this point? Wouldn't you think that the thought of a scandal now would get them to act? But Rabbi Eisemann is still sitting on the dais at the recent Rabbi Neuberger memory dinner, and what's worse, still talks in learning with unsuspecting yeshiva boys on a daily basis. What is wrong with these people???? Ignorance is only an excuse up to a point, no?!
If you have any ideas or advice for me, I would be so grateful.
One last thing. I thought of you this yomtov. Take a look at the Yalkut Meam Loez on Rus on Vayehi Bimay Shfot Hashoftim. He says that the judges / leaders of Klal Yisroel were judged by the people for their corruption. He writes pages and pages about this. He says that when Moshe Rabeinu "criticized" the Jews saying , a little more and they'll stone me", it was not a put down but praise that the Jewish people don't stand for phony, incompetent, self-interested leaders, but demand integrity from them, no matter who they are. I felt like he was writing about you. Really, take a look, and let me know what you think.
Yasher Koach, and I hope to hear from you soon.
Another victim writes....
I went to Gary Rosenblatt to ask advice. He's the editor of Jewish Week who did the expose on Baruch Lanner. He had been the head of the Jewish paper in Baltimore. He told me that Rabbi Neuberger had been involved in a case in the city (Eisgrau) where he insisted that it be kept quiet and nothing was done. It's as if there is some kind of Mesorah that he had that this is the correct thing to do in these situations. You know, chillul hashem, etc.
Shragi told people that Rabbi Eiseman has a heart condition, and this has to be considered in deciding to act or not. He also said that the Neubergers had been aware for years of Matis Weinberg's problems, but did nothing. He said "Everyone knows that the Neubergers and Weinbergs don't get along well, so they would not have believed us." Come again???
David Mandel from Brooklyn had started a Beis Din in Baltimore to investigate allegations of sexual abuse in the frum community.The Beis Din consisted of Shragi, Rav Heinneman, Rav Hopfer, Rabbi Hauer, and Rabbi Goldberger. Shragi said that when Rabbi Heinneman is at the meetings they can't really speak about it because he doesn't get it as well as the rest of them. How do you explain this? A rabbi on Beis Din who does NOT understand the sickness?
According to Rabbi Moshe Wolfson, "There are as many rabbis out there that will hurt you than will help you," and "There ARE no more Gedolim, veharaya, that people come to me with questions that they used to go to gedolim."
Another victim writes....
Did you hear about the two evenings that Ohel had entitled "let's talk about what never happened, but it really did"? The first one featured Rav Pam, Reb Shmuel and Reb Dovid Cohen and was emceed by Sruly Reisman. I gave them an A for effort, but their cluelessness caused, I believe, much pain to the victims/survivors in the audience. Reb Shmuel was asked by a lady what she should do about being molested 30 years ago and never telling anyone. She said that she was recently experienceing psychological symptoms. He told her to see a shrink, but to not tell her husband under any circumstances, because there is no way he would understand. This is in public and on tape. Rav Pam spoke about frum people with psychological issues like OCD, but didn't mention molestation, abuse of any sort, anything to do with sex or what the purpose of the evening was supposed to be. I wonder if someone told him, even? My favorite was of course, Rabbi Reisman, who after offering the caveat that he was not a psychologist, still felt that he had something intelligent to offer on the subject beacause of his experiences with victims. He then told two stories in which he went out of his way to point out that the molester was NOT Jewish. It did not take my years of leaning lamdus to make the diuk that apparently frum people of course don't molest, and that what had happened to many of the people in the room, really didn't happen at all according to the resident Navi expert. To "help" people even more, when asked by one survivor about the feelings of betrayal, he opined that this was not an issue at all, because like Don Rumsfeld said about the war in Iraq, "Stuff happens".
Basically, the message was to victims: we want to help you to get over it... so get over it, ok?
Another victim writes....
I hope you took no offense that I called you meshuga. I think that anyone who is not made meshuga by the horrible world of hypocrisy that is called the frum velt has something really wrong with them. Anyway, sorry for the choice of words. Again, you are my hero.
One thing that impressed me about your approach, is that with the Gerrer situation (the gerrorists) you got the job done and didn't feel the need to "take them down" or to necessarily go after the yeshiva, etc.
I'm mentioning this, because although sometimes the situation calls for drastic measures like multimillion dollar lawsuits and possibly razing a yeshiva to the ground, each situation is different and this whole problem does require sophistication as well as passion. In my case of Ner Yisroel, maybe something subtle like a letter writing campaign, or a few choice phone calls asking politely for Rabbi Eisemann to be taken care of, might do the trick especially now that they see what the problem could lead to.
Another victim writes...
I do not think it is enough to dismiss these people from their jobs. Look at the two guys who were fired. They go to Israel and will most likely end up like Mattis Weinberg molesting again at a later date. What needs to be done is:
Rabbi Eisemann should be told that the community, i.e. hanhalla of yeshiva, will monitor him and talk to his therapist to be sure he is complying. He will be given a job doing something with no child contact, but if he does not comply, he will be punished with fines or something else. His passport should probably be taken away.
His treatment should be comprehensive at a place that specializes in sex offenders and should include objective assessment for pedophilia (lie detector test, sexual deviancy measures, etc.) group therapy, individual therapy, and family therapy.
The yeshiva, as part of the change that needs to be made, should have to track down as many victims as possible and apologize.
Am I asking too much?
Another victim writes.....
You have touched on many issues, and are right on target.
Firstly, Shlomo Gottesman at Torah Umesorah is a big part of the problem, he's known about these problems At Ner Israel for years and is deeply involved in covering up this issue.
The gedolim, at least the ones they call gedolim, are clueless outside their daled amos. As a general rule, the Europeans don't get it, and the great chachomim like R' Ruderman are gone.
The present rabbonim in America are either businessmen protecting their businesses, or shluchim from them. I can't think of one name today that can compare to the toes of a R' Ruderman.
What's worse is that they in their ignorance and self-interests are causing the destruction of authentic Orthodox Judaism. R' Moshe didn't know about N.Y. water? Romaine lettuce?
Chumras upon chumras...where's the beef??? kinderlach's lives and neshomas??????
The Neuberger's behavior come as a shock and will come back to haunt them. What about Tzvi Berkowitz?/ Is he out of his mind or just waiting for the rosh yeshiva's job? Eiseman is sick, he has molested me for years when I went for shabbes to his house. He said it is ok to feel good. How crazy is that???I'm at a loss to explain what's going on. Maybe this is the next dor hamabul...the rishaim seem to be everywhere. I need time to think of an aitza, right now, I'm shocked out of my mind.
Sincerely and all the very best,do not let the Neubergers fool you, they will do nothing.
Another victim writes....
I know five of us that Eiseman masturbated, but I'm not sure how many would agree to help or come forward. There is the Russian boy but only Dovid Cohen know who this bochur is. I'm shocked that Dovid Cohen did not do anything to get rid of Eiseman, he told people years ago that he spoke to the Neubergers and they agreed to fire him.
Another victim writes....
Oh, by the way, you know that Moshe Eisemann went for years and years to Russia to work with unsuspecting Jewish children there under Agudas Yisroel's plan for harbotzas torah.
I'm going to write Neuberger that he really needs to fire Eiseman, pronto. And if Eiseman takes the yeshiva to a din torah (sure) then I'm willing to back up the yeshiva. But I will not help them in any way until he's fired.
Another victim writes...
I have two more victims of Eiseman who might be willing to contact you anonymously. Maybe three. Reb Dovid Cohen was also approached by somebody about Eiseman a while ago. I'm sorry you are having health problems. I'm suffering a lot too. Will it be all over soon? Or will it take as long as YTT is taking? Have you gotten any response from Ner Israel?
Another victim writes.....
I have an insider in Torah Umesorah...they ( Ner Israel) have no interests in doing the right thing at all. They're more concerned about finding me. I went to Herman 12 years ago and told him that Eiseman is sick, so they know full well and decided to do nothing. They learned NOTHING from the Margulies fiasco. I will be going public. Hopfer has been covering for Eisgrau...Eisgrau raped his own daughter, I'm in contact with her.
They're going to learn the hard way. I'll testify if needed!
Another victim writes.....
Apparently someone calling himself UOJ told Reb Sheftel that they've got 10 days to act or else. I had been wondering if they would make the top 3. Suddenly, Shragi says to my friend they are ready to act. Not to botch it up like TT did. He wants to go to a beis din first with Rabbi Hopfer. Many people told him that that's a waste of time, totally unnecessary. All they need to do is retire Eiseman based on 2 credible complaints, period. My friend said what are you afraid of that Eiseman will sue?!! I told him not to worry about Eiseman's heart condition, the victims come first. I think he might have heard me, but we'll see. Either way, I think in 10 days it will all be done. I hope. Shragi asked my friend if you had other victims. You told me that you didn't want to name others to me about other victims. He was very puzzled about how the molestation had taken place in the beis medrash, and I clarified to him that for some very sick individuals, that is what gets their rocks off.
Yasher Koach and keep up the good work. Soon it will be done and you can take a real hiatus and recuperate, I hope.
I'm feeling better already, but it ain't over till its over.
Another victim writes......
On second thought, I don't trust Shragi at all to be looking out for my interests, I don't feel a need to confront Eiseman to his face, and I certainly don't want to have to speak to this guy Hopfer. So, I'm going to call off the charade and tell them to just do what you are calling for, which happens to also be the best thing for all people concerned. I truly hope they do what they need to.
A victim responds to a question that I pose about them calling for an immediate hearing:
No, they did not agree. In matter of fact my friend just got a call from Shragi from Eretz Yisroel, that when he gets back, he wants to have a meeting with me, my friend, any other victims, Rabbi Eiseman and Rabbi Hopfer. I'm not quite sure why they need his involvement. I'm not sure why they need anybody's involvement. It makes me nervous, but I'm willing to help do things their way for now. It's the bottom line that matters. I'm nervous about this too. Shragi now talked to my friend about making "restrictions" for Eiseman, it seems Eiseman is staying, and the talk of his dismissal is a charade.
Any victims of Moshe Eisemann please contact me. I am willing to assist you in legal action against Ner Israel and Eiseman.
The next yeshiva has one week to terminate their in-house sexual abuser!
UOJ
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, July 06, 2006 | 433 comments
Saturday, July 01, 2006
"UOJ - Please Listen. The abuse of power, molestation, and cover-up that you know about does not allow you to rest peacefully....."
A Sophisticated Reader Writes And UOJ Responds.
I'd like to comment on the many opinions being offered whether the good that UOJ has accomplished is being "offset" by the bad.
UOJ - please listen. I can tell from some of your recent comments that you really care. The abuse of power, molestation, and cover-up that you know about does not allow you to rest peacefully. You have been very successful in changing our culture to some degree over the last months. Suddenly, a topic that was never spoken about is on the tips of our tongues. Yeshivas are wary of you. The organizations are on the lookout. The climate is right for change.
As you successfully point out the hypocrisy and evil in our midst, you and many other commenters should make a strong effort to:
1. Use appropriate language instead of the lexicon now used.
2. Attack only those that truly deserve to be attacked - the abusers of power and the molesters. The potshots taken at rabbonim, rabbayim, or even laymen that we have seen on this blog is not appropriate and needs to be curtailed.
3. Stop ridiculing anyone (including this commenter) who calls for a more civil discourse. I believe that most of us are parents. We would be the first to instruct our children that two wrongs do not make a right. We can't justify the feeling of gossip, frivolity and laxity that this blog is identified with on the basis that we are taking up a higher cause - especially when we can accomplish the same thing without resorting to these tactics.
Let's fight the issue of molestation in a strong, take-no-prisoners type of way, but keep foul language, off color, and insulting remarks out of the dialogue. I believe that as you call for a higher level of Judaism - a yearning for the holy religion that it once was - it is a critical error to allow and foster this type of dialogue which decreases individual holiness. As a group, the effect is contagious and more devastating.
UOJ, I respectfully ask you and your readers to think before you respond with knee jerk reactions. Please consider my words which are heartfelt.
I must specifically comment on Rav Elchonon Wasserman. Despite your strong feelings about the decision that Rav Elchonon made, going after him so harshly has left a bad taste in many people's mouths. Now, you have said that we should not read your blog if we don't like your opinions. You are missing the point which is that we like what you are doing. You are important to us. We would like to visit your blog which is the only vehicle where we can have an open discussion about abuse. However, we respect certain boundaries that you have crossed. It is very simple for you to tell us to leave the blog, but you would lose many interested and loyal supporters. Please reconsider your adamant position on certain Gedolim that you have severely criticized.
Regarding R' Elchanan, perhaps your point could have been that people aren't perfect and that you believe that his advice was wrong and that even Rav Elchonon may have realized this. You could extend that further with the Art Scroll type biographies where Gedolim are superhuman and explain why you believe that is dangerous. But the manner that you attacked him, conveys a message that G-D forbids R' Elchanan is in the same category as a Margulies. This is unequivocally wrong. As mentioned, the blog should criticize and publicize the real abusers - not Gedolim or laymen that make mistakes or are imperfect in one way or another.
To the readers:
It is time to get involved. Following the blog and making clever comments is not very difficult. Meanwhile, UOJ is fighting a one man battle. Are you ready to advocate for the independent board that UOJ has spoken about? Would you dare challenge your Yeshiva if an issue of abuse came up? It is easy to feel comfortable on this blog with UOJ as your super hero. It is convenient to wait for UOJ to "take down" the next molester, but where are the parents? You need to get involved in real life. I believe that UOJ has been saying that of late, but I haven't seen any responses. I'd like to see readers respond by name - no more hiding behind anonymous - and offer to support a parent advocacy group.
Let's continuously examine and reexamine our motives. It is easy to insult those who critique this blog, it is much more difficult to absorb good advice even if it is coming from those that you disagree with.
Let's clean up this blog so that it can be a place that we would be proud to take our children to visit. Let's support UOJ by becoming involved parents. Let's move forward by continuing with the positive aspects of this blog while filtering out the negative aspects that we know in our heart of hearts has no place in our very important dialogue.
UOJ RESPONDS:
The pain that all thinking people feel as well as the outrage, is expressed by myself and thousands of readers of this blog. Going through literally thousands of comments and e-mails per week, I am able to put up only a fraction of the comments and read only some of the e-mails. The one time I took off comment moderation as a test, there were 1030 comments until I started moderating again. Unprecedented in Blog history; Jewish or otherwise.
You do make some excellent points and your sincerity has captured the attention of my non-UOJ persona.
I am guilty...guilty of letting it take years for me to transform my mild mannered personality into the "wild-man" UOJ. I'm watching this Jim Jones like behavior for years while trying gently to make a difference by attending board meetings, writing essays, donating large sums of money, all with the proper intent to get a system in the yeshivas and Rabbanut that is guided by the beauty of our Torah. Not a system governed by individual needs, not beautiful edifices, not ostentatious dinners and conventions...simply a system run by yirei Hashem with no other interest than the needs of the klal first, foremost and only!
Instead, we have a system that is corrupt from the mail-room person up to the decision-makers, and everyone in between. How did we get here? Where did this disease of abuse of power and utter corruption come from? Are we students of our holy Torah or are we just a bunch of people dressed in dark clothing, hats, wigs, and tzitzis? (some fools wear more than one pair at a time)
The answer my friends, is the pass we gave to our rabbis that are no more than mortal humans. They have the same temptations that all of us have, and many of them, not all, fall victim to their humanity. They steal, they cheat, they are corrupt. You know why? There is no system of checks and balances that all humanity requires. They are the rabbis/gedolim...who is going to keep them in check?
We have erred. We have turned our rabbis into Gods..they are not, not at all. They are influenced and corrupted by money and power just as we are. We are scrutinized by our peers, they get a pass.
Therefore the trembling anger I have displayed towards R' Elchonon Wasserman. He was a Torah giant; but he was not God, just a mere human, fallible just like any other human. Was he brilliant in Torah? Absolutely! Therefore what exactly? A student wants to escape Nazi Germany...and he writes him back to stay put? Pikuach nefesh replaces a personal theory or opinion that "Y.U.", R' Yitzckok Elchonon in those days, is more dangerous to his talmidim than Hitler? Rabbi Gedalya Schorr and Mike Tress obtain hundreds of visas for his talmidim and he tells them, NO THANKS!?
I was sitting at the hospital bed several years ago of a true "tzaddik gamur"; he was nebach at the end of his life. He was at one of the meetings where his family hosted a reception to honor R' Elchonon in the late 1930's. I was holding his frail, trembling hand as he described to me what transpired after that meeting. The host and the hostess threw themselves at the feet of R' Elchonon in the living room, sobbing and begging uncontrollably...pleading with him NOT to go back to Europe, and to bring his talmidim to the United States.
R' Elchonon was trance-like...he wouldn't budge. "HE KNEW WHAT HASHEM WANTED!" He in fact played God...thousands died against the wishes of Hashem, which commanded us to violate Yom Kippur, Shabbos, Kashrut...do everything one must do to save a single life! For everyone's information, what Art Scroll will NOT tell you, is that Rav Yitzchok Scheiner, the present Rosh Hayeshiva of Kaminetz in Israel, was a talmid of Y.U. at that time. Not too shabby a black hatter I might comment. He was right up there on the infamous list of fools banning Noson Slifkin's works.
So my passion is, in my opinion, well-founded, rooted in common sense and Torah inspired fact. No Chassidic rebbe or any rabbi has Godly powers, they are mere mortals. Remember we are Jews NOT Christians; there are NO intemediaries in our religion. WE have a direct line to God, not one bit less than a person who is wearing eighty pairs of tzitzis, fur hats, round hats, square hats, velvet ones, silk jackets, white Kabbalah coats or any of the cult-like dress that we have succumbed to like children lost in a store full of toys and costumes.
We have let the Pied-Pipers flute us into a generation of meaningless rituals and chumras that are nothing more than the works of dangerous and foolish power grabbers.
Some rabbis do this intentionally, and some are led to this madness by a circle of their leidegayers; people who are human parasites..eating off the flesh of the naive and trusting. When I met with R' Shteinman, to find out that he knew nothing of a virus called herpes, only for him to categorize the New York Dept.of Health as Goyim out to destroy Judaism, I knew this gedolim thing has to go.
When R' Shmuel Kaminetzky responded in the Kolko matter, that we MUST assume Kolko did t'shuva if a recent victim, that was not victimized in the last few months, did NOT come forward, I knew that it was a mitzva to come out with the heavy artillery; lawsuits, secular media, private investigators, the D.A....and anything else I can think of to bring to light the cesspool of leaders that we have selected to guide us through difficult times. When Aaron Twerski disgraces the very essence of our intellect by calling Lipa Margulies an honorable man...there is no stopping me!
So I am upset to the point of being a " crazy person" and every other adjective my detractors can think of. But my accounting will be given to Hashem, not some earthly human; and whenever that day comes, I will go proudly, knowing full well my intentions were pure; no money, plaques, chicken dinners, or any other human reward. I do not want to sully any reward I may or may not get from my Creator.
There will be more...much, much more; this Thursday I will go public with the next yeshiva cover-up and their in-house molester. I will not stop until we have an abuse-free yeshiva system and that includes their enablers.
I will let God judge me and my language; after all, I am human and have shortcomings. I'm willing to take that chance.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Saturday, July 01, 2006 | 330 comments
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
"Rabbi Shafran ignores the cultural forces of shame and denial that have kept alleged victims like David Framowitz from going public"
(06/30/2006)
Orthodox Abuse And Cultural Forces
Robert Kolker
For those closely following the issue of rabbinical sexual abuse accusations in the fervently Orthodox Jewish community, last week’s Jewish Week represented something of a historic moment: An authority from the esteemed haredi organization Agudath Israel, Rabbi Avi Shafran, openly acknowledged that sexual abuse is indeed a problem that requires more attention and measures than the community currently brings to bear.
In the past, The Jewish Week’s own reporting has mentioned how rabbinical sexual abuse has been roundly ignored at Agudath Israel conventions. Rabbi Shafran himself has eschewed any calls for a centralized body to deal with the problem, instead encouraging anyone claiming to have been abused to “go to the rebbe or community rabbi.” So it is refreshing to read Rabbi Shafran grappling with these issues in an open forum and writing, “Must more be done? Yes. And it will be.”
But pausing only briefly to extend sympathy to victims of abuse, Rabbi Shafran saves his real outrage — and most of the space in his piece — for my recent feature story in New York magazine, “On the Rabbi’s Knee,” the first report to publicly detail plaintiff David Framowitz’s astonishing allegations in a recent sexual-abuse lawsuit. (The defendants are Rabbi Yehuda Kolko, Yeshiva & Mesivta Torah Temimah of Flatbush, and Camp Agudah, which Rabbi Shafran acknowledged is affiliated with Agudath Israel.) While the detailed and brave testimony of Framowitz received little attention from Rabbi Shafran, the uncomfortable question asked in my piece — if molestation is more common in the fervently Orthodox community than it is elsewhere — must have hit a nerve. Because last week, Rabbi Shafran accused the New York magazine article of “slip[ping] toward slander, not only of Orthodox Jews but of Judaism itself.”
As a journalist and a Jew, I take this accusation very seriously, and I’m grateful for the chance to respond.
First, Rabbi Shafran suggests that when I wrote that “there’s reason to believe the answer to that question [of more sexual abuse among the fervently Orthodox] might be yes,” I was engaging in something “sinister” — and that the only substantiation I provided was an insight from the author Hella Winston about the countless incidents she heard about in her laudable research on chasidic exiles.
While everyone including myself and Rabbi Shafran can stipulate that no hard statistics are available, my explanation of this belief extends for several more paragraphs. The next paragraph suggests that some experts believe “repression ... creates a fertile environment for deviance.” Rabbi Shafran takes this as an assault on what he calls “a Torah-observant life.” I intended it only as my sources did: as a belief that any society that shies away from open discussion of certain issues is a society that allows problems to fester longer — and abusers to stay in business longer.
But it’s what I discuss next that Rabbi Shafran ignores completely: the cultural forces of shame and denial that have kept alleged victims like David Framowitz from going public for decades. Nowhere in Rabbi Shafran’s piece is a mention of the so-called shonda factor, lashon hara, shalom bayit, mesira, and chillul Hashem, all of which are invoked to keep victims from bringing their community unwelcome attention by the authorities.
Rabbi Shafran spoke to mental-health experts who believe the problem is smaller among the fervently Orthodox. The experts I interviewed said otherwise — like the pediatrician who was in tears discussing how these pressures keep victims silent, and two psychologists who agreed that the fears of being ostracized from the community prevent victims from speaking out and being treated.
Common sense would indicate that even if there are fewer fervently Orthodox abusers, if they’re allowed to remain in positions of power for decades they can abuse hundreds of more victims and perhaps even create victims who go on to become abusers themselves. As one abuse victim told me, “Whether it’s Jewish or Amish or Mennonite or Catholic or Muslim, it doesn’t make a difference. I feel like this is kind of like a fungus. It grows in the dark.”
But above all, this sort of chauvinistic we-abuse-less argument is an insult to victims like David Framowitz who felt so alone and intimidated for so long. Can there be any doubt that until the cultural bias against the reporting of abuse is tackled head on, not defensively, community leaders are only paying lip service to the problem?
Rabbi Shafran would have you believe that something is being done, but is it really?
While the Catholic Church now has a charter calling for removal of any clergyman who commits an act of abuse, the 3-year-old guidelines for preventing abuse in Jewish day schools that Rabbi Shafran mentions are non-compulsory. Torah U’Mesorah, the National Society of Hebrew Day Schools, has no real disciplinary system in place, but the New York City schools do. Are Jewish children somehow entitled to less protection than public school children? If Rabbi Shafran wants to suggest that fervently Orthodox religious observance in fact fosters superior moral behavior, then why not throw open the doors to the public? Why not urge complainants frustrated by the bet din process to take those grievances to an American court?
The absence of such conviction leads me to conclude that the real point of Rabbi Shafran’s editorial appears to be to distract attention from the Framowitz lawsuit and make people believe that Agudath Israel’s reputation deserves their support more than the victims do. He would have you believe that the mainstream media — the usual bugbears of the Internet and MTV — are the villains here. He is obviously more concerned with defending Judaism from paper tigers — illusory enemies — than he is with actually dealing with the problems of his community.
Still, a major step has been made. At long last, by admitting there is a problem, Rabbi Shafran has opened the door for more discussion. Is it possible that outside forces like the Framowitz lawsuit and the mainstream media have actually done some good here? As a Jew and a journalist, I hope so.
Robert Kolker is a contributing editor at New York magazine.
Special To The Jewish Week
(06/30/2006)
Hella Winston Responds
For the second time on the pages of your paper (Rabbi Marvin Schick’s paid column “Is this Jewish Sociology,” May 12, and Rabbi Avi Shafran’s Opinion piece “A Matter of Orthodox Abuse,” June 23), the participants in my research have been subject to baseless speculation that they may have lied about their experiences of sexual abuse. I find this disturbing, not only for what it implies about their character and my research, but also because it serves as confirmation that victims who speak out about abuse can expect to have their credibility called into question, even by those ostensibly charged with representing their interests.
What I reported in my book was the result of several years’ research, involving not only chasidim who left their communities, but those who remain within them, as well as a variety professionals who work closely with this population. To be clear: Nowhere have I asserted that sexual abuse is more common in the Orthodox world than it is in the general population; reliable published statistics on this issue are notoriously hard to come by. What I have noted, however — along with many others — are some of the factors that make it particularly difficult for chasidic victims of abuse to seek help and justice: the fear of stigma; the traditional Jewish antipathy toward informers; concerns about lashon hara and making a chillul Hashem; the taboo against speaking openly about sexual matters; the lack of independent entities within these communities to investigate charges of abuse; the fact that offenders often find refuge in other communities.
All of this means that it is possible for abusers to go on abusing unhindered, sometimes for years. Ultimately, however, quibbling over numbers is merely a distraction from dealing with an issue that deserves our undivided attention.
Hella Winston
(06/30/2006)
Don’t Circle Wagons On Orthodox Abuse
Avi Shafran (“A Matter Of Orthodox Abuse,” June 23) quotes David Mandel of Ohel as saying, “The degree to which Torah leaders have spoken out [on abuse in the Orthodox community] has been remarkable.” I wish he were right.
While there are some who have spoken out in clear, responsible ways, what is remarkable to me are the many who have spoken out against lashon hara (slander), hillul Hashem (scandal) and mesira (the prohibition of going to secular authorities), to name just a few halachic walls to inappropriately hide behind, as a means of silencing victims. What is remarkable are the many stories that I have heard in my extensive work through JSafe with victims of sexual abuse, child abuse and domestic violence in all parts of the Jewish community of denial, cover-up and dismissal.
Interestingly, the non-Orthodox often see abuse as an Orthodox problem, and the Orthodox see it as a non-Orthodox one. And it is a problem for all of us. To date we do not have appropriate studies that give us real numbers. But perpetuating stereotypes of where to find perpetrators does no one any good.
I agree with Shafran’s critique of the New York magazine article and his dismissal of its suggestion that somehow Orthodox repression fosters abuse. But I believe that there are unique factors within the Orthodox community that make it extremely difficult for victims to come forward and get the help they need. There is systemic intimidation, covertly and overtly, of victims and their advocates, and even their rabbis. These people often fear retaliation and intimidation, as well as harmful consequences to their own reputations and those of their families. There are betei din (rabbinic tribunals) that have adjudicated these cases that have no expertise or understanding of these issues and no means to protect past and future victims.
Now is not the time to circle the wagons in order to protect an idealized vision of the community. Now is the time to do everything possible to protect victims from abuse. Then opinion makers won’t have to write columns defending their communities and accusing others of having nefarious agendas — they won’t need to.
CEO, JSafe
Rabbi Mark Dratch
West Hempstead, N.Y.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, June 28, 2006 | 110 comments
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Attn: Rabbi Gottesman And The Rabbinical Leaders Of Torah Umesorah And Agudath Israel!
The following e-mail was sent to the leadership of Torah Umesorah and Agudath Israel.
I have deleted the names of the yeshivas and predators for now. If the predators are not dismissed from their positions in ten days, I will go public with the information.
Sat, 24 Jun 2006
From: "Unorthodox Jew"
Subject: Attn: Rabbi Gottesman And The Rabbinical Leaders Of Torah Umesorah And Agudath Israel!
To: umesorah@aol.com
Rabbis,
I have retained a former NYPD detective and nationally renown private investigator. His job is to investigate all credible allegations of abuse that come across my desk.
I can verify based on the evidence and victims' testimony that sexual abuse is taking place at the following yeshivas:
Yeshiva ...........-predator ...........
Yeshiva............-predator............
Yeshiva ...........-predator ...........
The menahalim of these yeshivas are aware of the problem and as of yet not have terminated their employment.
I would like to give you notice of these vile people, and am asking you to get involved and have them removed/terminated at once.
I trust that you understand that if in fact they are not removed immediately, I will do whatever it takes to publicize these peoples' behavior, the ongoing cover-up by the yeshivas, and I will arrange for legal help to the victims.
I sincerely hope that this can be avoided by your immediate involvement.
UOJ
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Tuesday, June 27, 2006 | 95 comments
Saturday, June 24, 2006
A FATHER OF A SEXUALLY ABUSED CHILD PLEADS TO THE RABBINICAL ESTABLISHMENT TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN!
A FATHER'S PLEA FOR HELP.
At the outset, please forgive me for making the assumption that I have something meaningful to offer the survivors of sexual abuse, which I am not, or to the chachomim of this city, also which I am not. I am not an accredited professional. I am however, a father of an innocent child to whom these acts have been committed and, as such, I feel I may have a relevant contribution.
I have learned to see victims of abuse as people that have gone through an individual holocaust. Each victim having been through an event or chain of events that has forever changed not only the victim, but also reaches out to affect families, relatives, schools, communities ,and even into the next generation. The price we pay has nothing to do with the thousands of dollars spent in therapy for so many different issues both related to the assault(s) and their outgrowth (family disunity, Yidden off the derech, drug abuse, promiscuity, and poor school performance), but the toll it is taking on Klal Yisroel's future.
We must choose to understand the nature and scope of the dilemma and plan a clear path forward. As in all matters of Torah, the motivation must be the search for emes. Those who seek to accuse, blame, seek their pound of flesh, desire kavod or satisfy gaivah need not, no-must not be a part of the problem solving and the development of relevant answers for the needs of our community.
We must admit to ourselves what currently exists in our community in order to appropriately respond to those who perpetrate abuse and those who have suffered from it, as up until now the response has been inadequate and inappropriate.
I believe we must understand what the abuse is and is not. Sexual abuse is not an act of inappropriate or misplaced sexual desire. It is an act perpetrated by one in need to control and overpower another individual. Many times this is accomplished by manipulation and at other times by brute strength. Ultimately the result is the same. The victim is left feeling totally powerless in their world, afraid and intimidated by the prospect of a recurrence, guilt ridden, and feeling totally alone while being unable to share what has happened to them with those who care and love them.
It is a criminal act and not one between consenting individuals, even if somehow the perpetrator has manipulated the victim into thinking that the act was desired by the victim. It is the debasing of another human being to satisfy the lust for power and control ;it expresses itself as a sexual act. It robs innocence, it robs self esteem, it robs confidence, it robs one of closeness to G-d, it robs one of families, it robs ones ability to express love and intimacy in appropriate ways, it robs youth, it clouds judgment, it is spiritually, physically, and emotionally painful. It is extremely rare to find a perpetrator that acts only once. It is extremely rare to find a person who has been victimized who is not aware every day of their life of the continuing effects the abuse has had.
Who are the perpetrators? They are almost always males. When this is perpetrated by individuals outside of our community, we try to understand and make it understood that within the world at large, unfortunately, there are goyim such as these. It isn't easy, but the door is left open to understand the events within a Torah context, utilizing daas Torah to help us understand the machla and refuah. The most pressing issue we must cope with is what happens if the perpetrator is from within our own community? Brothers, fathers, cousins, uncles, friends, rabbeim, baalei battim, people we know and would otherwise respect, yeshiva trained or poshuta Yidden. Neighbors, business associates, baalei tsedakah, black hat or kipah srugah. They are here. They who have committed these atrocities are among us.
What are we to say to our beloved when the trust instilled in us of our own community is violated? So many have been robbed of the single most important asset we can use to interpret and understand and reach out to those in need of help.
Many of the accused seem to be protected, their crime hidden from public awareness. Some leave town, only to perpetrate again within another community. There is denial on the part of many that those accused are guilty. When the victim is a child or the accusation comes years after the crime, the testimony is often suspect. Often times, we can only reach the conclusion that there was a victim, something happened, but the details become an issue of debate due to an inability to substantiate the facts.
We must decide how to handle the confirmed perpetrator. It is important to remember that a crime has been committed by a person with a sickness. If I was prone to seizures and drove a car and damaged someone, G-d forbid, I would not expect my rov to get me out of the legal obligations I would have, nor would I expect him to remain quiet if I wanted to transport children in my car at a later time. It would be expected that I would notify people that I was unable to do certain things due to my condition and I would be expected not to put myself in another situation where the safety and well being of another person would be compromised. A person with a cancer can only hope that with G-ds help, he will live his 120 years in remission, but with the realization that once discovered, the disease is forever at risk of re-emerging.
We must come to terms with those who carry within themselves the depths of understanding and knowledge of Torah, yet, have turned their bodies from holy vessels to impure receptacles by an action(s) that seems to refute their outward appearance of being yiray Shomayim. Just as Moshe Rabeinu was not reprimanded for breaking the luchos instead of bringing them into the midst of the unfit Bnai Yisroel at the time of the golden calf, it is understandable to feel that the perpetrators are not worthy of the gifts of Torah they hold and the kavod due them as holy vessels. However, today we lack the Leviim ;those tzadikim who are so pure that they are worthy and able to rid us of the unholy and tainted.
Perpetrators must come clean. They must first admit to themselves, then to their victims and the community at large, what they have done. This is always the first step. It must be public because the victim must have the validation that they were victimized. They have been abused and too often feel responsible and ashamed. When the abuser confesses, enough of the victims self doubt can be removed to allow the door to recovery to begin. We can deal honestly with the abuser and not allow him to be in situations that may cause him to stumble. We can watch, counsel, teach, and guide a person who understands and accepts his failings. We can take this Yid's shortcoming and use them to enhance our community. How many times has the government taken ex-criminals and put them to work preventing the same criminal behavior in others? They speak, they teach, they make aware. They have insight we lack. This is how they can do tshuva. Of course they may NEVER be around children again!
Who are the victims? They are our children, siblings, parents, extended families, friends, neighbors, our kehilas, and our community. We all suffer. The energy expended in the fallout of the effects of abuse is without end. Victims often suffer in silence for years due to fear, shame, and/or guilt. They may repress their horror or be emotionally unable to confront their reality, doubting their own credibility. This is a personal holocaust. Who is going to believe such a thing could happen? How is anyone else going to understand the pain?
The victims often feel it is easier to live in pain than to be forthcoming and be written off as a crank, a liar, a crazy person. Their pain and suffering exhibits itself in ways seemingly unrelated to the abuse. Many become problems academically and behaviorally at school. Their interactions with loved ones may deteriorate. They may not trust. Not just strangers, but even those closest to them. They may carry and exhibit irrational anger. They feel betrayed by their loved ones and others who have the responsibility and obligation to protect them from harm. We often lose them as b'nai mitzvas. We often lose them as members of our families and communities. We lose them to drugs and promiscuity. We may even lose them to be perpetrators themselves, having learned from the criminal behavior of their abuser how, through a warped and sickened perspective, to gain some control into their own out of control lives. The cycle continues. We all suffer.
We must feel it is as much an obligation to educate, inform and warn our children parents, neighbors, and congregations of the threats to our physical and spiritual safety as it is for all other types of criminal activity, whether Torah based or secular statutes.
We understand from Shlomo Hamelech that there is nothing new under the sun. It is our obligation to delve into Torah and find ways to help. The answers are there. We must find the needed refuah for the victims, the perpetrators, and our community. We must not give up on nor lose those we love and those who need our love.
The Agudah's response to the allegations of sexual abuse in their summer camp is way too little and too late. Where were you for forty agonizing years? We, who believe in the Divine involvement in every single act that occurs on Earth and all the galaxies, have to believe that the fire that destroyed the main building at Camp Agudah, the exact day that the Agudah's pathetic counter to the New York Magazine article on sexual abuse among the Orthodox Jewish community was published, was Hashem saying to Klal Yisroel "enough is enough."
May we all be zoche to be closer to Hashem through our efforts.
MONDROWITZ ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!
Has anyone contacted you as being a victim of Avrohom Mondrowitz?
I am a victim of his who only came forward as a result of the NY Mag article.
I've been in touch with an Attorney, went to the Brooklyn DA's office to formally file a criminal complaint,
and through my Attorney have been in touch with & given interviews to multiple Press outlets while
maintaining my anonynimity. The reporters are digging for the cause of DA's office quietly dropping the case,
and stories will be appearing shortly.
I believe that there is renewed interest in this case & pressure will be applied to the DA's office
to bring him back. I firmly believe that someone or some group from the "frum" Orthodox community pressured
the DA's office to drop the case. I am trying to find out if other victims have also recently come forward so that we can
pool our resources & pressure the DA's office.
Your assistance will be greatly appreciated.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Saturday, June 24, 2006 | 251 comments
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
THE DEFENDANT IN A SEXUAL ABUSE LAWSUIT, AGUDATH ISRAEL, RESPONDS FORTY YEARS LATER......
A Matter Of Orthodox Abuse
Rabbi Avi Shafran
True or false?
1) Child abuse does not happen in the Orthodox Jewish community.
2) Child abuse is particularly prevalent there.
3) Halacha-observant living actually encourages child abuse.
4) The Orthodox community has not taken measures to prevent child abuse.
Answers: 1) false 2) false 3) false 4) false.
Abuse of children unquestionably exists in the Orthodox community. So, though, does fanciful speculation of its extent. Consider a recent long, lurid article about a child molestation lawsuit against an Orthodox rabbi.
(Full disclosure: An Agudath Israel-affiliated camp is named as a co-defendant in the lawsuit. The allegations include acts said to have been committed against two adolescent boys in the camp, where the alleged abuser was employed some 30 years ago. The other defendants in the lawsuit are Yeshiva & Mesivta Torah Temimah of Flatbush and the alleged abuser, Rabbi Yehuda Kolko.) Oh yes Shafran, full disclosure my ass-UOJ)
Robert Kolker, writing in New York magazine, cleverly and subtly sandwiched an admission of a dearth of statistical evidence about abuse in the Orthodox world between a sinister question and a damning speculation: “Is molestation more common in the Orthodox Jewish community than it is elsewhere? There are no reliable statistics … but there’s reason to believe the answer to that question might be yes.”
The “reason to believe” is based on speculation by Hella Winston, who has written about once-chasidic people who turned their backs on their communities. She recounts how “shocking” it was to hear how “so many boys [emphasis hers] have had this experience.”
Leave aside her unquestioning acceptance of her subjects’ claims. Focus only on the essential, glaring problem of drawing so sweeping a conclusion based on so slender and specialized a sample. Abuse, tragically, may well have been a factor in the trajectory of those disheartened Jews’ lives. And if it was, our hearts must ache with the anguish of the victims. But to consider their agonizing experience as somehow emblematic of chasidic life, much less broader Orthodox life is like deciding there must be a national tuberculosis epidemic after visiting a hospital and seeing “so many” patients there suffering with the disease.
Kolker then goes on to make an even more offensive and groundless speculation, safely qualified with the preface “There are some who believe.” What they believe, he reports, is that “the repression in the ultra-Orthodox community can foster abuse.” By “the repression” he means things like the strict forbiddance of sexual relations before marriage and the Jewish family purity laws that regulate when married couples may and may not engage in intimacy. The “few outlets for an Orthodox man with compulsions” create “a fertile environment for deviance.”
Here snideness slips toward slander, not only of Orthodox Jews but of Judaism itself. Larger society has ample “outlets” for sexual _expression (including many Kolker doesn’t likely prescribe). Yet abuse there is hardly unknown. Might the lack of sexual discipline inherent in a culture of “anything goes” be a greater risk factor for abuse than the ethic of personal responsibility cultivated by Jewish law?
Permit me a counter-hypothesis: A Torah-observant life does not lead to aberrant behavior; it helps prevent it. “I created an evil inclination,” the Talmud quotes the Creator, “And I created the Torah as its antidote [literally: ‘seasoning’].”
That fundamental Jewish truth that human inclinations are harnessed and controlled by Torah-life and Torah-study is self-evident to anyone truly familiar with the Orthodox community. The vast majority of its members are caring and responsible people who lead exemplary lives, free in large measure from societal ills like rape, AIDS, prostitution and marital infidelity that affect their less “repressed” neighbors.
That shouldn’t surprise; halacha-observance stresses family, community, compassion for others, control of anger and passions, ethical ideals. To be sure, there will always be observant individuals who sometimes fail the test of self-control, even with horrendous impacts on the lives of innocents. But that no more indicts Jewish observance than the fact that there are corrupt police or drug-addled doctors renders law enforcement or medicine suspect.
Preparing this essay, I interviewed some of the most respected mental health professionals with experience in the Orthodox world. To a person, they believe (based on their experience; as above, there are no statistics) that the number of child abusers in the Orthodox world is, like that of practitioners of other types of aberrant behavior, below that of general society. Anyone who thinks there is “reason to believe” otherwise has not consulted professionals whose on-the-ground experience uniquely qualifies them to speak to the topic. (Name names Shafran. Pro-Fresser Aaron Twerski?)
At the same time, though, just as bad cops and strung-out MDs must be rooted out, so must we address child abuse, whose victims, tragically, can be emotionally scarred for life. Even if the problem is less prevalent in Orthodox circles than elsewhere, abuse should be nonexistent in a community that believes in the sublime value of children, the momentousness of their upbringing and the consequence of the Torah’s laws to which abusive behavior is unambiguously antithetical.
Anyone who has shown a tendency toward abusive behavior has no business serving as a teacher, counselor or youth leader, and institutions must have procedures in place to ensure that they do not. And, while there is still much to do in this regard, the community can point with some degree of pride to important strides that have already been made.
Many Orthodox schools and summer camps have for years had in place clear policies and effective safeguards to help prevent abuse. Three years ago, the National Society of Hebrew Day Schools published and disseminated internal school guidelines for preventing and dealing with abuse, including reporting to civil authorities when appropriate. Sessions at its conventions focusing on the issue and featuring leading mental health professionals have been standing room only and lasted late into the night. (They came for the food you putz!-UOJ)
Special Jewish courts have been established in a number of Orthodox communities across the country to deal with abuse accusations (and have, in cases of proven guilt or admission of a crime, put suitable restrictions in place). A number of Orthodox mental health organizations and social service groups deal both with victims of child abuse and with abusers. ( You're a filthy liar Shafran-UOJ)
And contemporary rabbinical leaders have publicly spurred their followers to action on the issue. David Mandel, head of the Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services, which operates a sexual abuse prevention and treatment program, said, “The degree to which Torah leaders have spoken out [on abuse in the Orthodox community] has been remarkable.” (Mandel is a nasty and sly co-conspirator-UOJ)
Has all that been enough? Nothing is, at least not until abuse is nonexistent in the community. Must more be done? Yes. And it will be.
As progress continues, though, we would do well to avoid the New York magazine mind trap. To imagine that what has defined traditional Jewish life for millennia is somehow a risk factor for abuse is to turn all logic and experience on their heads. The true risk factors, as mental health professionals attest, are things like absent parents, alcohol and drug abuse, lack of support systems and the touting of a Woody Allenesque “the heart wants what it wants” mindset, all considerably underrepresented in the Orthodox community. If any environment can reasonably be imagined to foster the bane of child abuse, it is the charged atmosphere of MTV, R-rated movies, contemporary advertising and uncontrolled Internet usage, not the universe of Jewish values.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, June 21, 2006 | 141 comments
Monday, June 19, 2006
Ultimately this sinful cover-up occurred because of the erosion of any sort of meaningful bais din process
A Highly Prominent Member Of Our Community Writes......
What has happened to good old-fashioned common sense? Most of us folk that make up the ranks of Orthodoxy crave the application of good judgment in our lives to the myriad of decisions that we are faced with every day. And when that judgment is applied to the welfare of our children, vigilance is the order of the day.
So how do we explain Kolko’s ability to stave off these persistent rumors that have dogged him for decades so effectively that he remained in the classroom until just a few weeks ago? We joked about our Cocoa Club and his Kolko Club. Rest assured, if these rumors reached the tender ears of a naïve thirteen year-old, they reached the hanhala of Torah Temimah as well. The previous failed bais din was more than enough for a thinking parent body to dispose of Yudi Kolko from the surroundings of children. Yet Kolko remained a rebbe, in class, enjoying unfettered access to young, vulnerable children entrusted to his care.
Lipa Margulies's crime was not only the lack of caring about your children, not only the pathetic trouncing of all that is sacred to mankind, but he literally spit in all the faces of his parent body, teachers, rebbes and the very foundation of Judaism; mentchlikeit. We were designated by God to set an example to the Nations of the world....oh what have we permitted to be done to us by one evil man?
Consider how this case would have played out if Torah Temimah were a public school. A complaint gets filed with the Board of Ed, and before an inquiry is conducted, Kolko is at the very least, removed from the classroom. Aren’t we supposed to be the smart ones?
Much of the blame lies in the basic human nature of people. We don’t want to believe that rabbis commit sins of moral turpitude. Nor do we want to find ourselves in the unenviable position of being betrayed by those we hope to admire and strive to emulate. It’s so much easier to shove aside the accuser because the alternative, acceptance, reflects so harshly on all of us, both as individuals and as a community. Had this gone on for a few months, or a year, perhaps such reason could be applied to the Torah Temimah hanhala.
But the sheer persistence of these rumors renders Marguiles and his minions absolutely responsible, as if they were in the room with Kolko b’shaas mayseh. Think for a moment what thirty years is. There is simply no excuse for not removing Kolko sooner. Sofek deorysah lchumrah should have been reason enough.
Ultimately, this cover-up may have occurred for no other reason than because it could. With the erosion of any sort of meaningful beis din process, until someone realized that catch phrases like “mesirah” and “rechilus” were just a smoke screen to pervert the truth and disguise the reality, there really is no hierarchy of accountability existing in Orthodoxy today. In fact, it’s become a joke. You don’t like a psak, buy another. For every rav that will tell you “no,” two more will not only tell you “yes” but tell you why the first rav is a lunatic. Sad, but the truth many times is.
I had a rebbe that once told me that mastering the four volumes of Shulchan Aruch were not nearly as important as the fifth – common sense. Our leaders, by failing to act sooner, have abrogated their thrones. We the people are on to them, and it will take more than reference to an obscure tosfos to regain our respect. There are more Kolkos out there. Let’s see who strives to fill the void at the uppermost echelons of Orthodoxy and exposes them.
Turning to the particulars of the case for a moment, let me state unequivocally that I believe David Framowitz. Common sense again dictates that a middle-aged man with a family doesn’t just come out of nowhere and make something like this up. And time does not dull every memory. I would venture that Framowitz remembers what happened to him in that old Plymouth like it was yesterday.
Indeed, Kolko’s belated removal from the classroom will reverberate through the Orthodox world the way Kennedy’s assassination changed the course of American history, and Framowitz is our Zapruder.
What Kolko’s removal says, regardless of the ultimate outcome of this case, to every Jew who has distorted our holy Torah to hide his behavior, to every Jew that fails to control the inclinations that drive them to sin at another’s expense, is that your days are numbered. We may take our licks for violating the laws of lashon harah. We may resort to profanity and less than sophisticated behavior. But we will not continue to enable those that prey on the weak by ignoring their cry. We will bring victims rights to the fore by aggressively pursuing those that prey on them.
If Orthodox "leaders" won’t say it, then the Orthodox will say to our so called leaders – zero tolerance. If we are going to call ourselves the am hanivchar, then we are going to start acting like the am hanivchar.
We will start reforming the yeshiva system as the next phase of our crusade, as we know full well that this would never have happened in a public school. Mitoch shelo lishmah, bah lishmah. The fact that Torah Temimah put Kolko “on leave” only after the suits were filed is pathetic and shamefully irrelevant at this point. What is highly relevant is that UOJ has demonstrated that late is better than never!
What remains to be done immediately, is to have Lipa Margulies removed from this yeshiva if it wants to recapture the name of a makom Torah. There is no room among our arba koslei hayeshiva for an evil opportunist to be present.
The leadership of the Jewish people must do just that; lead..... or the rishaim among our community will view this as just another story that they think will go away in time.
It will not; the lawsuit against Torah Temimah will be ongoing, making headlines in the national and international media.
Ridding our community of Lipa Margulies is not optional, it is no less than a chiyuv D'oraisa...ubeartah hara m'kirbechaw.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Monday, June 19, 2006 | 93 comments
Saturday, June 17, 2006
AN OPEN LETTER TO THE PARENTS, STUDENTS AND RABBEIM OF YESHIVAH TORAH TEMIMAH!
In response to everything that has been exposed to the public in the past few months, Lipa Margulies has placed Yudi Kolko on administrative leave. There are those who say this is more than one can expect from someone such as Lipa Margulies and as such we should leave well enough alone.
Others realize that the problem never was Yudi Kolko. It remains an unfortunate fact that pedophiles will attempt to build lives around their prey. That Kolko chose to spend his life around children is no surprise. That Kolko was protected by Margulies should also come as little surprise to anyone who knows him. That Margulies and Kolko were allowed to continue their heinous acts for decades after complaints were made to Torah Temimah, Agudath Israel, Torah U’Mesorah and many others is symptomatic of the core problem.
The problem is with our self anointed rabbinical and lay leadership. In the coming weeks the world will learn of the unimaginably cynical and cruel acts committed by Lipa Margulies with the knowledge and assistance of Shia Fishman (executive director of Torah U’Mesorah,) Pinchus Scheinberg, Yaakov Perlow (Novominsker Rebbe and Agudath Israel’s president and chairman of Agudath Israel’s Council of Torah Sages,) Simcha Kaufman (rebbe in Torah Temimah, employee of Camp Agudah and talmid of Pinchus Scheinberg,) and Elya Svei (former Rosh HaYeshiva of Talmudical Yeshiva of Philadelphia, former chairman of the rabbinic administrative board of Torah U’mesorah and former member of Agudath Israel’s Council of Torah Sages.)
Our message is simple.
When your child is running a fever you head straight to the pediatrician. When you have a toothache you go to your dentist. When you have a tax question you meet with your accountant. When you want an insurance policy you go to your insurance agent. When you have a legal question you ask your lawyer. When you find a leak in your home you call your plumber. When you need an extension to your home to house your growing family you hire an architect and a builder. You get the point.
When you or your children are molested or otherwise abused you go to the police to protect yourself and your neighbors and to a mental health professional to deal with the fallout of the abuse. Simple. There is no place for rabbis or lay leaders in this equation. This is not only our opinion. If you won’t rely on your own sense of decency, self preservation and logic, Rav Elyashiv, Rabbi Herschel Schachter, Rabbi Dovid Cohen and countless others from all walks of life declare that it is your obligation to do so.
The problem is more complex.
As a community we have been misled by our rabbonim. For several decades they have taught the dogma of thinly disguised papal infallibility wrapped in a cloak of kappotes and beckeshes. The complexity of this situation lies in the need to deprogram so many of us from this perverse distortion of our holy torah.
Our prescription is crude but effective. Shock treatment.
In a mere few months we have gone from a community deep in a dogma induced stupor to one engaged in a lively debate over the qualifications of our rabbonim and lay leaders possess to deal with our day to day issues.
Parents, students and rabbeim of Yeshiva and Mesivta Torah Temimah, our solution has two more stages left. The next stage will impact upon you directly.
We mean you no harm. The vast majority of you are unsuspecting victims who just went along with the flow. Your friends sent their children to Torah Temimah so you did the same. We feel for the disruption in your lives. Please feel for the agonizing pain in the lives of Margulies and Kolko’s many victims. We ask that you feel their pain so that you will not take what will be happening personally.
Yeshiva and Mesivta Torah Temimah and Lipa Margulies will be destroyed.
While many may mourn the good that will be destroyed along with the evil most of us understand that the good inherent in our holy Torah can not exist in the presence of Margulies and the institution he built on the blood and souls of our children.
Torah Temimah must be destroyed as a clear message to all that as a community steeped in the values of the Torah we can not tolerate such pure uninhibited evil.
We have fired our opening salvo. The barrage will continue and by September you will not recognize Torah Temimah.
Rabbeim, we understand the pressure you are under. Margulies pays you well and on time. You are comfortable. We suggest you think of the stigma of working alongside Kolko and for a man such as Margulies. We suggest you think about being unemployed without notice. Now is the time for you to either group together and start another yeshiva or find employment elsewhere.
Parents and students, now is the time to protect yourselves and your families and make alternate arrangements for the next school year. Neither you nor your children deserve to be a part of the punishment dealt Margulies for his murder of innocent children. Being a part of Torah Temimah has turned into an unimaginable stigma which will only get worse as more becomes public.
Enroll your children elsewhere.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Saturday, June 17, 2006 | 127 comments
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Aaron Twerski-I am ashamed and greatly angered by what you did. I truly believe that your participation last night has damaged the Jews!
A Very Respected Criminal Defense Attorney Writes:
Dear Professor Twerski:
I apologize for writing this after the fact, and I have as yet heard no reports how the meeting went last night. And while as a criminal defense attorney I truly believe that all are presumed innocent until proven guilty, that is in the eyes of the law, but not in the eyes of a 'kahal' who must be concerned about 35 years of a 'shmu'ah' that has surrounded Rabbis Kolko and Margulies and YTT.
The (so far) lack of proof in the eyes of the law and halacha - although there seem to be many more than 'al pi shnayim aydim' around - may not condemn the parties yet legally, but I believe it does not give anyone the right for others to go out of their way in order to give them the cloak of purity and innocence as this hastily prepared meeting featuring yourself and David Mandel did. Clearly this was a P.R. campaign to make the public believe that Rabbi Margulies is innocent of all 'charges' against him. To the extent that you are (in my humble opinion) prematurely 'mesayai'a' him 'lidvar aveirah' - to perpetuate his claim of innocence in the cover-up - I am ashamed of you and greatly angered by what you did.
I truly believe that your participation last night has brought great harm and damage to the Jewish community at large, to your own reputation, to the institution that you are employed by, and to hundreds and hundreds of innocent kinderlach.
Had you truly been interested in helping alert the community to this problem, you would have received the invitation from Rabbi Margulies and then done all you could to move the meeting to another location, had it sponsored by an independent group, and found a sponsor for an ad and mailing that said "Invitation to all YTT Parents and Parents of any and all Yeshiva students to come hear experts on the topic 'Keeping your children safe and Preventing Abuse' ."
By allowing your name to appear on a YTT letterhead above the signature of Rabbi Margulies, I believe you have wrought upon yourself disgrace and shame. As our chazal have told us, "Oy la'rasha v'oy lishchayno."
e-mail:dbpesq@gmail.com
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Tuesday, June 13, 2006 | 182 comments
Saturday, June 10, 2006
ALL PEOPLE WITH AN IQ OF FIFTY OR BELOW ARE INVITED TO ATTEND THE YE"SHIVAH" TORAH TEMIMAH CIRCUS MONDAY NIGHT
SPECIAL PERFORMANCES BY YUDI KOLKO THE WORLD CLASS BALLS JUGGLER & LIPA THE CLOWN/GONIFF/MAGICIAN MARGULIES-WATCH HIM MAKE YOUR MONEY VANISH FROM YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IN TO HIS, RIGHT BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES! LISTEN TO HIM TELL YOU STORIES THAT YOU NEVER HEARD BEFORE, AND CAN ONLY BE HEARD BY THIS NOW WORLD FAMOUS MAGGID OF SHEKER.
THIS IS AN EVENT YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS, BRING YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN (ESPECIALLY THE BOYS BETWEEN 9-14 YEARS OF AGE) TO WATCH THE GREATEST FREAK SHOW IN JEWISH HISTORY.
Click Images To Enlarge:
Middle States Commission on Elementary Schools
One Belmont Avenue, Suite 618, Bala Cynwyd, PA 19004-1609
(610) 617-1100 Fax: (610) 617-1106
info@ces-msa.org
NOTICE:
Middle States Commission on Elementary Schools HAS ACCREDITED THE SCHOOL BELOW. DUE TO THE CHARGES OF SEXUAL ABUSE AND COVER UP ALLEGED AGAINST THE SCHOOL THE CERTIFICATION IS BEING REVIEWED. WE REQUEST THAT ANYONE WITH INFORMATION ABOUT THE CHARGES CONTACT US AT THE ABOVE. ALL INFORMATION WILL BE HELD IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE.
SCHOOL:
Yeshiva and Mesivta Torah Temimah
Head Of School: Rabbi Yaakov Applegrad
School Information: 555 Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn, NY 11218
Phone: 718-853-8500
Fax: 718-438-5779
E-mail: apple@ytt.edu
School Details: Level Of School: K-12
School Type: Religious School
Enrollment Size: 858
First Accredited Date: 5/1/2003
Last Accredited Date: 5/1/2003
The current homepage was last updated: 5/31/2006
District: NOT PART OF A SYSTEM OF SCHOOLS
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Saturday, June 10, 2006 | 216 comments
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
EXTREMELY URGENT-RABBI SHLOMO MANDEL OF YESHIVA OF BROOKLYN-CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY! AT: a_unorthodoxjew@yahoo.com
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Tuesday, June 06, 2006 | 155 comments
Sunday, June 04, 2006
MY WARNING TO THE "RABBIS" OF ORTHODOX JUDAISM
This is a copy of an e-mail I sent to a friend to pass on to the rabbis.
Dear.....
There's very credible evidence coming in on another large yeshiva doing exactly what Torah Temimah has done. I do not want to start taking down yeshiva after yeshiva, but I will, if need be.
Before I go public with anything further, perhaps you want to set up a meeting with the Moetzes/Torah Umesorah and tell them the following:
1- Lipa Margulies must be removed from Torah Temimah. I don't care how it's done. He can't EVER again be involved in the chinuch of children. Let him open a restaraunt and get Kolko as head waiter, and Belsky as mashgiach for all I care. When Margulies is removed and Shustal or that caliber person becomes rosh yeshiva, with an administrative board like the Chaim Berlin and YTV model, I will move away from the Torah Temimah issue predicated on the following:
a- An independent sex registry is set up for all the yeshivas and Bais Yaakov schools, administered by frum professionals, NO RABBIS!
b-An independent professional panel of ten (men & women) are put together to hear allegations of abuse. They can meet on Sundays on a rotating basis. Three people need to show up once in 3 weeks.
c- If the above happens by August 3rd-Tisha B'Av, they will avoid the third self destruction of the Jews brought on by their own evil behavior.
I'm in the process of retaining a high profile PI, a former NYPD detective, to investigate ALL allegations of abuse, and go STRAIGHT to the media and the authorities with his findings.
Please get back to me by June 10th.
Your Chaver,
UOJ
My friend responds that he's having a problem with the direction the blog is taking.
This is my response to him.
I can appreciate your concerns about the direction of the blog. I'm also very glad to hear about your progress with the pending bill, but it's still pending and so is the registry by Torah Umesorah.
Why not a statement from Torah Umesorah that they are working on one?
Look, you have valid points, I agree that some of the language is questionable, even mine.
But look at the results because of the worthiness of our cause! Kolko is gone and Margulies is ruined!
Do you really think anything would have happened if there was not a lunatic out there ready to take down all the yeshivas that are rotten, and harboring sick, abusive and ill rebbes?
"Rabbi"......is a monster, I verified it over a two week period before I put it up.
I screen 100 posts that have a name on it before I put up one. The masses are enraged, I feel it in their language.
I know people, the best deals and best results are made under pressure and deadlines. YESHIVA.......... is next, if the organizations don't act.
I too feel that I am NOT permitted to go away until major changes are implemented; not promises, not want to, not going to, but implemented permanently.
My dear chaver, (I mean that)...I will go away when the changes are in place NOT A MOMENT BEFORE. I don't trust them and neither should you. They've proven themselves to be rishaim, yes, teshuva is possible, but so far it's a bunch of talk.
Please get back to me by June tenth with a "written" letter of intent agreeing to yesterday's demands, I will then go on hiatus until Aug. 3rd.
If not...they'll be sorry, very sorry.....you know that!
Good Yom-Tov...All my very best,
UOJ
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Sunday, June 04, 2006 | 170 comments
Saturday, June 03, 2006
A Call for Submissions – The Other Ba’al Tshuvah Stories
A Call for Submissions – The Other Ba’al Tshuvah Stories
Although this post will appear on Jewschool as well, I just wanted to give a personal note of thanks for this opportunity to UOJ. As some of you may know, I was a writer here before joining Jewschool, and it was here on UOJ that I first began speaking about my own earlier experience as a Jewish fundamentalist, and my problems with famous and powerful kiruv institutions, such as Ohr Somayach. This was a hard thing for me to do, in part because of my own lack of pride in many aspects of that experience. As I expected, I was attacked as crazy, a loser, and weak minded for listening to rabbis in the first place. This from Ultra-Orthodox Jews! But UOJ himself and the core writers of the early days of this blog were very supportive, and most surprising, quite understanding. And I discovered it wasn’t the end of the world to talk about what I thought was wrong in Ultra-Orthodox kiruv, or even what went wrong for me. In the end, I felt a lot stronger. This was made possible by UOJ. I had never spoken about such things publicly. I was finally facing my past as a Jewish fundamentalist.
All too often, the Orthodox community is uninterested in alleviating a frequently destructive situation for so many ba’alei tshuvahs. It is a cold numbers game, and control over as much of their lives as possible is considered ideal, even paramount. The secular Jewish community is all too frequently ignorant about what the problems are, and when they resist what is happening to their children and their friends, end up discussing “hashkafa” issues, which is right where the kiruv masters want the discussion.
What UOJ has proven with his stunning success is that the Orthodox community cannot be trusted to police itself properly, but enforcement must be imposed from outside. And although much of his readership are committed Ultra-Orthodox Jews, there are others, many who may be appropriate for this new project, or know others. ]-- DK
It was only a matter of time before current or former ba’alei tshuvahs banded together to oppose their radical policies and excesses. That time is now.
If the Ultra-Orthodox compilations and movies about Ba’alei Tshuvah are to be believed, most stories follow a similar arc. Secular Jew discovers Ultra-Orthodox Judaism. Rejects secular world in its entirety. Marries like-minded newly religious spouse. Lives very fulfilling and meaningful life, and achieves higher and higher spiritual levels.
What is not discussed is the socio-economic devastation to middle-class recruits, the lies, the discouragement of secular education, the dissatisfaction in performing low level jobs for those who listen, the discouragement of vocational ambition, the lack of intensive hard skills offered such as the Hebrew and Aramaic language, the preference given to those from wealthy families, the encouragement of stringency, the encouragement of neurotic and obsessive behavior, marriages arranged not on love but on a value system assimilated usually for only a couple of years, the push for isolation from friends and all but immediate family, and the eventual massive dropout rate of ba’a’lei tshuva.
They must have had a hard time finding anyone with such problems.
That’s why Failed Messiah (Shmarya Rosenberg) and David Kelsey are joining forces. We want to help! And since there are obviously very few such cases judging by all the success stories, we are teaming up together to find these very, very few and isolated cases of dissatisfaction, in the off-chance there are any.
And since the ultra-Orthodox world is so confident of the superior lifestyle they are advocating for secular Jews, we know they won’t mind us compiling a book that raises the difficult issues they must have forgotten to ask in their never ending releases about how much happier everyone is who joins the ranks of Jewish fundamentalism, and presents them to the secular Jewish community. In fact, we know the Ultra-Orthodox kiruv institutions will be thrilled to have Jews who experienced first-hand the joys of Ultra-Orthodox ba’al tshuvah living express how they think things should be different, and what went wrong. And what they think about the institutions and faculty they attended.
If you or anyone you know is a ba’al tshuvah or former ba’al tshuvah, we want to hear his/her story. The unedited version. The version not fit for the holy Artscroll. Essays needed as well! Specific topics preferred.
Please contact us. For more information, please go to http://www.kiruvstories.com/.
Or email us at- submissions@kiruvstories.com.
We need your help!
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Saturday, June 03, 2006 | 9 comments
Monday, May 29, 2006
THE EVOLUTION OF A MURDEROUS FRAUD CALLED LIPA MARGULIES AND THE IMPACT HE HAS ON ALL OF JUDAISM
"As man is a social animal, it is almost certain that he would inherit a tendency to be faithful to his comrades and obedient to the leader of the tribe".
The Descent Of Man by Charles Darwin
How does a low-life become a head of a yeshiva? I asked this question over and over again to myself as I twist and turn trying to fall asleep.
This is what I came up with.
When we view history, especially recent history, I asked myself the same question regarding the onset of the PLO.
Who in the world would want a filthy dirty slob, bad to look at, disgusting to be near,an abomination of a human, a known murderer and thief, to be their leader? Could it be that the masses of the Palestinians were that dumb? Could it be that no matter how rotten a person is, he will find followers that will support him and his evil?
Could the world be that crazy by allowing "Chairman" Arafat the podium at the United Nations with a gun on his hip? Well, the Agudath Israel gave Margulies the podium at the siyum haShas armed with his black hat and gartel!
The parallels between Arafat and Margulies are startling. OK I know some are you are saying " this is the final straw, UOJ is an over the top certified lunatic".
Read on, listen carefully.
1-Who made Arafat "Chairman"- Who made Margulies "Rabbi"?
2-Who raised millions of dollars from all sorts of people only to enrich themselves as they robbed their supporters blind? Who had the SOLE authority to write himself millions of dollars of checks without asking anyone?
3-Who controlled/controls all of the assets of the organizations they led with other people's money? Who recently "SOLD" 55% of their house to the yeshiva and pocketed $1.9 MILLION DOLLARS?
4-Who killed off( emotional killing is murder) all their detractors and slandered those that would not support their evil ways?
5-Who has laundered all sorts of ILLEGAL money through their institutions?
6-Who has defied all logic and kept lying until their dying day?
7-Who unashamedly issued statements that were filthy lies without any hesitation?
8-Who began their institutions on a huge fraud; Palestinian people-Torah Vodaath Of Flatbush!
9-Who has led their groups into the abyss and convinced them that their cause is justifiable according to ancient texts?
10-Who is willing to destroy their peoples because of their illusions of grandeur?
The world is watching and shortly the "fetter Shmiel" will be coming to visit!
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Monday, May 29, 2006 | 204 comments
Friday, May 26, 2006
AFTER THIRTY EIGHT YEARS OF HARBORING A VICIOUS PEDOPHILE-Y. KOLKO, LIPA MARGULIES, YESHIVA TORAH TEMIMAH AND WILLIE WIESNER RESPOND!
Click image to enlarge:
TT PARENTS:ASK THE "MORON RASHA HAYESHIVA SHLITA" THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS!
1. Daas Torah - name names, which rabbi(s)???
2. Counsel? Who? And who does he represent - the yeshiva? Kolko?
3. Why did Kolko go on leave - no explanation? What would you have done If Kolko DID NOT AGREE to leave?
4. Administrative leave - paid or unpaid?
5. Why the silence as to why the yeshiva did not go to bais din? Which rabbonim (daas Torah) advised him not to go to bais din?
An interesting legal admission from your yeshiva - "always has been to guarantee the welfare of our children". Guarantee? That's a word smart negligence defense lawyers avoid. It could potentially mean you don't have to prove negligence, only that that there was an injury, and the guarantee of safety was breached.
It potentially means strict liability.
Parents: I urge you to get rid of Lipa Margulies immediately and save the yeshiva by hiring an honest and authentic "rosh yeshiva". Call it whatever you want, I'll even let you call it "administrative leave". Margulies is a vile thief and a sub-human. He has caused much damage to all Judaism and has no place in our Torah institutions.
Keep asking yourself" what would I do if it was my child"??? The hundreds of victims were OUR children!
Get rid of him NOW; save the yeshiva!!
If you choose to once again be fooled by Lipa Margulies, and decide to do nothing, beware, I intend to finish the job for you.
AND IT WONT BE PRETTY!!!!
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Friday, May 26, 2006 | 147 comments
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
PLEASE TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL ABOUT THE KOLKO/MARGULIES/YESHIVA TORAH TEMIMAH SEX ABUSE SCANDAL-THE WORLD IS WATCHING!
PLEASE CONTINUE THE COMMENTS HERE:
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, May 24, 2006 | 276 comments
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
THERE HAVE BEEN ATTEMPTS TO HACK OUR SITE-THE NEW ADDRESS WILL BE AUNORTHODOXJEW.BLOGSPOT.COM IF LIPA MARGULIES'S MAFIA IS SUCCESSFUL!
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Tuesday, May 23, 2006 | 5 comments
Saturday, May 20, 2006
344 People Downloaded The Complaint Form Against Yudi Kolko - The Greatest Single Tragedy To Smite The Jews Since W.W. Two
The Awareness Center reports the following statistics:
FYI: This is from our stats page. So far, since the filing of the lawsuit against Yeshiva Torah Temimah, Yudi Kolko and Camp Agudah, 344 people downloaded the complaint file on Kolko from our web page.
/complaint_kolko.pdf 344
/Kolko_Yehuda.html 1263
/Kolko_Yudi.html 265
1528 visits to the Kolko web page so far.
"CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?" "HOW ABOUT NOW?" "HOW ABOUT..........?"
IS YESHIVA & MESIVTA TORAH TEMIMAH A MODERN DAY IR HANIDACHAS?
Background:
The institution currently known as Yeshiva & Mesivta Torah Temimah (“TT”) was founded by Lipa Margulies (“Margulies”) as Yeshiva Torah Vodaath of Flatbush. As an employee of the authentic Yeshiva Torah Vodaath (“YTV”), one of the oldest and most prestigious Torah institutions in America, Margulies had access to YTV’s proprietary donor information which he absconded with when he departed to start his own school.
Margulies commenced his fraud by misrepresenting himself to donors as an agent of YTV, and donations slated for YTV began fattening TT’s bank account. By the time YTV realized the extent of the brazen fraud being committed by Margulies, millions of dollars had been stolen from them by Margulies. It took several years for YTV to get Margulies into a bais din for a din Torah. The bais din forced Margulies to change his business name. He was ordered to return the stolen money, but never did. He began operating under the name Yeshiva Torah Temimah, F/K/A/ Yeshiva Torah Vodaath of Flatbush.
Kolko:
Margulies hired Yehuda Kolko (“Kolko”) as a rebbe in his new yeshiva. Margulies was immediately made aware of Kolko’s dangerous sexual deviance. Fearful of the potential impact the double whammy an ongoing financial scandal coupled with a child abuse scandal would have on his budding business, Margulies cynically chose to cover up the fact that he had hired a known pedophile and focused instead on building his business.
Kolko in turn focused on grooming and molesting his victims.
Complaints:
As TT grew both in size and prestige, the pedophile issue kept raising its ugly head. Parents and students, with frightening regularity, approached Margulies with complaints against Kolko. Margulies responded by discrediting any victims bold enough to go public and threatening their families with retaliation if they did not stop their victimized children from complaining.
In the mid 1980’s, when a few of the victims managed to convene a bais din to address the horrific accusations against Kolko, Margulies reacted by retaining Rabbi Chaim Pinchus Scheinberg, rosh hayeshiva of Torah Ohr (“Scheinberg”) to interfere with the bais din. Simcha Kaufman (“Kaufman”), is a former student of Scheinberg and currently an employee of both Margulies/TT and Camp Agudah where Kolko worked and abused children for a decade. As a high level employee of Camp Agudah, Kaufman was informed of Kolko’s molestation of young campers as early as the late 1960’s, and together with others, chose to cover up the accusations. Kaufman contacted victims and their supporters to insist they cease and desist from their attempts to rid TT and their community of a dangerous pedophile.
Specifically, Scheinberg called the organizers of the bais din and insisted they stop the din Torah proceedings. He falsely stated that under halacha two witnesses are required for the testimony to be halachically valid, and as there were not two witnesses for any single act of abuse perpetrated by Kolko, all of the accusations must be disregarded.
Scheinberg also contacted victims and asked them to tell him what had been done to them by Kolko. Upon hearing the details of Kolko’s acts of molestation, Scheinberg falsely informed the victims that under halacha, absent penetration or proof of ejaculation, Kolko’s actions against them were not punishable, and that they were obligated to cease and desist in their pursuit of justice.
In doing what he did, Scheinberg knowingly violated clear halacha to the contrary of his stated position, and allowed Margulies and Kolko to continue their perversity. Due to Scheinberg’s gross distortion of halacha, to this day, there are victims of Kolko who believe that the horrific acts of abuse Kolko perpetrated upon them are not actionable under halacha.
Not one to leave anything to chance, Margulies also enlisted the aid of Yehoshua (Shia) Fishman (“Fishman”) (Fishman is the Executive Director of Torah U’Mesorah, the National Society of Hebrew Day Schools in America.) Fishman used his position as representative of Torah U’Mesorah to have one-on-one conversations with victims of Kolko. Introducing himself as the head of Torah U’Mesorah, an organization held in great esteem by yeshiva students, he promised to keep anything told him in the strictest confidence. Reassured, the young victims poured their broken hearts out to Fishman who promised to help them. Fishman promptly reported all stories and victim's names to Margulies and Kaufman. Margulies and Kaufman proceeded to publicly name and discredit each and every victim, one by one. The astonished victims react to this day with fury at Fishman’s betrayal of their confidences. To his credit, Fishman now acknowledges that a horrible injustice was perpetrated upon Margulies and Kolko’s victims, and pleads old age, ill health, and his imminent retirement as the reason for his inaction at this time.
It is of note that Rabbi Avigdor Miller zt"l, instructed the organizers of the bais din to ignore Scheinberg’s perversion of halacha and to persist in their quest. Nonetheless, for over twenty years after Scheinberg’s maniacal interference, Kolko continued molesting young boys.
Having survived the most serious assault against his yeshiva, Margulies assumed he had put the matter behind him and focused on building his businesses. Margulies expanded Kolko’s responsibilities to include administrative duties, one-on-one “tutoring” of select students in TT, and the running of TT’s summer camp in the Catskill Mountains, known as Camp Silver Lake.
Needless to say Kolko’s child molesting continued, resulting in newly shattered lives every year.
Ir Hanidachas:
According to most interpretations, Ir Hanidachas is in reality a practical impossibility and as such is taught as a lesson on how to deal with irredeemable evil. The purpose of this post is not to seriously suggest that TT must be burned down to the ground together with all its inhabitants. To the contrary, many of the rabbeim and students of TT are innocent victims of Margulies. These rabbeim and students will have to spend the rest of their lives distancing themselves from Margulies and TT, and clearing themselves of the horrible stigma of association with TT. This is more punishment than most of them deserve and we wish them no further pain.
However, as with the concept of Ir Hanidachas, Yeshiva & Mesivta Torah Temimah is infused with an evil beyond most of our comprehension. While boy after boy was being sexually assaulted by Kolko in his private office and in the basement of the yeshiva building; at the very same time and in the very same building, the rabbeim and students sat in their classrooms and bais midrash learning, while turning a blind eye to the horrors being committed. When a few of the victims summoned the courage to accuse Kolko, the rest of TT went along quietly with Margulies, and allowed their classmates and talmidim to be villified.
Yeshiva and Mesivta Torah Temimah cries out for treatment as an Ir Hanidachas. The Rambam’s requirement that the inhabitants of an Ir Hanidachas be warned has been met. The TT community have been on notice of the midas S'dom being perpetrated by Margulies and Kolko for decades, and were warned publicly and repeatedly of the consequences its continued inaction and refusal to repent would result in.
According to the Ra’avad, the occupants of an Ir Hanidachas are so beyond the pale that even true repentance does not allow for a reprieve. A Tosefta Sanhedrin postulates that in the case of Ir Hanidachas the property of the righteous inhabitants are burned along with everyone else’s. Allow me to expand upon that thought and suggest that the guilt of the “righteous” lies in their silence while they allowed the horrific behavior to continue under the roof they shared with the purveyors of evil. Their silence is interpreted as acquiescence.
What did someone such as Rabbi S.F. Shustal, by many accounts a very special man, do to deserve this indelible blemish on his reputation? Simply stated, he was and remains to this day, silent about the horrors perpetrated by Kolko and Margulies.
While Margulies countenanced and supported Kolko’s murder of our children’s innocent souls, Shustal and his co-workers sat, and continue to sit, silently. They did, and continue to do, nothing to stop Margulies and Kolko.
In response to the argument of “what about the zechusim of the tremendous amount of Torah emanating from the many thousand graduates of TT?”, I refer to the Rambam who in Yesodei Ha’Torah states that a Sefer Torah written by an apikoros must be burned. The Rambam called for the burning of a Sefer Torah written by an apikoros because of the lack of proper intention to be m’kadaish shaim Shomayim as the Sefer Torah was written. Thus, such a Sefer Torah, although on the surface identical with a kosher Sefer Torah, lacks kedusha and as the living embodiment of tumah and sheker its very existence stands in contradiction to everything the Torah represents.
Accordingly, Torah Temimah must be dismantled, Lipa Margulies must be removed immediately, and a board of rosh yeshivas and ehrliche askonim must take over the leadership until a new rosh yeshiva is hired.
It takes no great leap of logic to apply the above to Yeshiva and Mesivta Torah Temimah, an institution built by a vile kofer on a foundation of sheker, theft, deception and the blood and souls of innocent children. While Yeshiva and Mesivta Torah Temimah might appear at first glance to be a yeshiva similar to other yeshivas, it is in fact the yeshiva equivalent of a Sefer Torah written by a min (non-believer.)
Being a community of sorts, the atrocities committed within the four walls of Yeshiva and Mesivta Torah Temimah render it an Ir Hanidachas. As such it is an institution whose eradication from our midst will result in a true kiddush Hashem and will hasten the geulah, may it be G-d’s will.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Saturday, May 20, 2006 | 1031 comments
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Attorney Jeff Herman will be on "Talkline with Zev Brenner" tonight at 9:00PM NY AM radio WSNR 620.
Listen to Jeff Herman's interview last night:
TCNTALK@aol.com
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, May 17, 2006 | 195 comments
A Thoughtful, Measured UOJ (Or UOJ on Valium) - WHAT IF??????????
Regular readers of my blog are accustomed to my in-your-face tone and firebrand ranting on a host of topics affecting our community.
Worry not; I have no intention of changing my stripes. Tomorrow bright and early, I will be back to ranting and challenging the powers that be.
But just for today, as hundreds of thousands of decent, law-abiding, spiritual members of Klal Yisroel are in the process of mourning the desecration of Hashem and our Torah caused by the lawsuit against Kolko, Margulies and Torah Temimah, I ask you to be intellectually honest and walk a mile in my shoes, or better yet, walk many miles in the tattered souls of the victims, making some assumptions:
What if every one of the allegations listed in the New York Magazine article is true?
What if the three lawsuits are in fact the tip of the iceberg in the rape of our children by Kolko and Margulies?
What if there was a pattern of terror,“ a second round of abuse" directed at those who reported these abuses? Not for weeks, months or years, but decades?
What if Margulies was repeatedly offered a quiet and discreet resolution of this matter, with Kolko offered a paid leave while a hearing was conducted, and a registry of sexual molesters established by Torah Umesorah to see to it that molesters don't get shuttled from school to school?
What if you actually listened firsthand to the pain and suffering of the victims? What if you heard them talk about the confusion, anger, rage and their struggle to get their lives back on track?
What if you heard them ask you how Kolko and Margulies can continue to have the respect of our community while they wallow in despair and agony?
What if you felt that there was a CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER to the innocent children under the care of Kolko and Margulies?
What if you heard that Margulies had the unmitigated gall to recently conduct an asifa of his "talmidim" in Lakewood to set the stage for opening a branch of his "kiddy molesting business" there?
What if you saw the intimidation and terror that was directed at anyone who challenged the powers that be and stood up for the rights of our children?
Well, you might do the responsible things first:
Send them messages and messengers that you "have the goods" and beg them to do the right thing.
Take your message to the public via the Internet.
Send a mailing to the community, hoping against hope that someone, somewhere, would convince Margulies to let reason prevail.
Issue clear warnings and datelines should he refuse to do what is correct and moral.
What if that didn't work either?
What if you felt that you, and perhaps you alone, had the courage, means and fierce determination to stop the insanity and finally after all these decades protect our children?
What if you spent sleepless nights over the past few years feeling that you are not doing everything in your power to protect our children, and permit a confirmed embezzler called Lipa Margulies to get away with not only theft of millions of dollars from Yeshiva Torah Vodaath, but from pretending to run a Torah institution while a vile predator is hanging around a thousand kids every day?
What if you have documents in hand from a psak bais din to force Margulies for ten years to change the name of "his" yeshiva? What happens if you have documents in your hands from estate attorneys designating their clients' money to Yeshiva Torah Vodaath then in Williamsburg, to be cashed by the vicious thief and embezzler Lipa Margulies?
What if you were convinced that Torah Temimah's very bricks and cement were purchased with stolen money?
What if you felt that Margulies would never respond to reasonable people, but "maybe" only to the ranting of a "wild maniac"?
I have no doubt that history will judge Margulies to be the wicked, heartless, soulless fiend who regularly expelled "average" children from his school to maintain his elitist image. It was the cruel and evil Margulies who repeatedly refused to bring resource rebbeim and programs into his school allowing kids to drown or transfer to more compassionate, responsible mosdos. It was none other than this rasha of the generation, Lipa Margulies, that was the first to turn the sacred mission of chinuch habanim into a personal, corrupt, nepotism-filled fiefdom and "pig"gy-bank.
History will be brutal to this self-righteous thief, vile and evil man, and confirmed embezzler called Lipa Margulies.
Tomorrow, I vow to continue my crusade to finally bring safety to our children and other vital issues to our community that are being swept underneath beards, black hats, kapotes, bekishes, shtreimels and OU certified kosher plastic tablecloths, all in the name of Torah.
Today, however, I ask you to think about the terrible desecration of Hashem and his Torah that this corrupt, evil, vile man brought to all of us.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, May 17, 2006 | 67 comments
Friday, May 12, 2006
Another Day, Another Sexual Abuse Lawsuit Filed Against Yeshiva Torah Temimah
Double Click on Individual Images to Enlarge:
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Friday, May 12, 2006 | 273 comments
Friday, May 05, 2006
Press conference to announce the filing of a $20 million dollar lawsuit against Yeshiva Torah Temimah, Lipa Margulies, Y. Kolko & Camp Agudah
Press conference to announce the filing of a $20 million dollar lawsuit on behalf of two plaintiffs who claim they were sexually abused as children by Rabbi Yidi Kolko when they were students at Yeshiva Torah Temimah. The lawsuit was filed in Federal Court and is against Yeshiva Torah Temimah, Camp Agudah and Rabbi Yidi Kolko.
When: Friday, May 5, 2006 at 2:00 pm.
Where: Public sidewalk in front of Yeshiva Torah Temimah, 555 Ocean Parkway, Brooklyn, NY.
Who: One of the victims and attorney Jeffrey Herman will make a statement and take questions.
Herman & Mermelstein, P.A.
Jeffrey M. Herman, Esq.
18205 Biscayne Blvd.
Suite 2218
Miami, FL 33160
(305) 931-2200
www.hermanlaw.com
DOUBLE-CLICK IMAGES TO ENLARGE:
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Friday, May 05, 2006 | 298 comments
Thursday, May 04, 2006
LIPA MARGULIES, YESHIVA TORAH TEMIMAH AND YUDI KOLKO MESARAIV L'DIN (IN CONTEMPT OF JEWISH COURT)
LIPA MARGULIES, YESHIVA TORAH TEMIMAH AND YUDI KOLKO IN CONTEMPT OF JEWISH COURT(MESARAIV L'DIN)
As everybody now knows, Margulies and Kolko have ignored repeated Hazmanas and refuse to come to Bais Din. Indeed, they defied three separate Batei Dinim, including two of their own initiation.
SIRUV L’DIN NUMBER ONE:
When the most recent charges of child molestation and cover-up against Yudi Kolko and Lipa Margulies emerged to the public in February, the Torah Temimah/Margulies/Kolko camp sent an Hazmana from Rabbi Belsky to Eli Greenwald alleging slander. Eli Greenwald, being a true Torah Jew, immediately responded in writing that he would appear before Bais Din for a Din Torah. The Torah Temimah/Margulies/Kolko camp ignored this response to their Hazmana and have yet to appear for this Din Torah.
SIRUV L’DIN NUMBER TWO:
At the request of the Torah Temimah/Margulies/Kolko camp, a Bais Din comprised of Rabbis Avrohom Chaim Levin and Shmuel Kaminetzky together with a noted orthodox attorney was set up. The Torah Temimah/Margulies/Kolko camp agreed to come to a Din Torah before this Bais Din. A tentative date was set. The Torah Temimah/Margulies/Kolko camp changed their position and refused to appear before this Bais Din. It must be noted that this too was a Bais Din convened at their request.
SIRUV L’DIN NUMBER THREE:
Despite the fact that the victims were now well within their rights to go directly to Court, they wanted to give Bais Din one more try. Thus, before filing suit on behalf of the victims and guided by strict Halacha after conferring with Rabonim and Poskim, Attorney Jeffery Herman sent three successive Hazmanas to the Torah Temimah/Margulies/Kolko camp demanding they come to the Bais Din of Mechon L’Hoyroh or convene a Bais Din of ZBLA. (see Shailos Uteshuvos Divrei Chaim, Choshen Mishpat, Chelek 2 S’ 46 & the Shailos Uteshuvos Neos Desheh S’ 51, which stand for the premise that an Hazmana need not originate from a Bais Din but may instead be sent directly by the claimant. Indeed, the Bais Din of Mechon L’Hoyroh approved the Hazmanas prior to them being served.)
Despite independently confirming their Halachic obligation to respond to the Hazmana and appear before the Bais Din for a Din Torah, the Torah Temimah/Margulies/Kolko camp chose to ignore the Hazmana. While strict Halacha only requires one Hazmana, the victims decided to follow the current practice and sent three Hazmanas. The Torah Temimah/Margulies/Kolko camp ignored all three.
MESARAIV L’DIN
At this point the Torah Temimah/Margulies/Kolko camp are clearly Mesarvim Ledin.
The Mesaraiv transgresses numerous Torah laws including: “Al Pi Hatorah Asher Yorucha”; “Uvasa El Hashofet Asher Yehiyeh Bayamim Hahem”; “Ad Haelokim Yovo Dvar Shnayhem” and “Tzedek Tzedek Tirdof” (All found in Parshios Mishpatim and Shoftim.) The Mesarev, by forcing the other litigant to go to secular Court causes a great Chillul Hashem. As Rashi states in Parshas Mishpotim "do not bring the matter to their courts, for one who brings law cases of Bnei Yisrael before the secular courts profanes the Name of Hashem. The Chillul Hashem that The Torah Temimah/Margulies/Kolko camp will be bringing down on Klal Yisroel as a result of their refusal to go to Bais Din is unimaginable and unspeakable.
It is incumbent upon the entire community to loudly condemn Mesarvim Ledin and insist that Hazmanas be responded to. In his article entitled, "Batei Din vs. Secular Courts", published in The Jewish Observer, January 1993, Chaim Dovid Zwiebel argues that the community itself is called upon to play a major role in upholding the honor of Batei Din and enforcing their judgments. He notes that the Agudas Yisroel movement has adopted some internal guidelines designated to isolate anyone who is Mesaraiv L'din. Such an individual forfeits his right:
(1) to be a member-in-good-standing of any Agudah branch Shul;
(2) to be called to the Torah for an Aliya;
(3) to be a Shaliach Tzibbur;
(4) to host any Kiddush or Simcha; and
(5) the individual is to be explicitly advised that he is not welcome in the Shul.
Margulies would rather continue sheltering a child molester and defy Halacha and our Torah while having all his dirty laundry aired in the secular Courts and media, then face a Din Torah.
He chose to continue putting children at risk daily instead of doing his duty and protecting them from further harm.
History will record that the Torah Temimah/Margulies/Kolko camp were hoisted by their own petard.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, May 04, 2006 | 28 comments
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Al Aleh Ani Bocheyah! (For These I Cry!)
I did much soul-searching this Shabbos; I love Judaism, I abhor the people that hijacked the "leadership" and their followers.
For these I cry:
I wonder with amazement at the spineless cowards like Shmuel Kaminetsky, Yisroel Belsky and Avrohom Chaim Levin- For these I cry!
I look at the likes of Shea Fishman and Torah Umesorah and I want to tear my garments in mourning-for this I cry!
I observe the morons at the Agudah including the Nothingmeaninger Rebbe-for this I cry!
I look at the entire vile and meaningless sect called Chassidim-for this I cry!
I look at the tragedy when the most evil people in the world; the greatest rishaim can open a yeshiva, as easy as it is to open a fast food joint-for this I cry!
I look at the senile nursing home escapees that are worshipped by idiots- for this I cry!
I look with sadness at a Judaism when ritual takes precedent over illness and death-for this I cry!
I look at the publishing arms of the Charedim; the writers that contemplate whether Avraham Avinu performed metziza b'peh on himself-for this I cry.
I look at the dais of organizational dinners and I see swindlers and slimeballs-for this I cry!
I look at Lipa Margulies for the gangster and shaigetz that he is, and the horrendous damage he is on the precipice of causing to all of Judaism-for this I cry!
I look at Yudi Kolko and the illness that has infected him and wonder how many hundreds of families he destroyed-for this I cry!
I cry for the tragedy called "Torah True Judaism," for the lie that it has become, and for the sinister motives of the people that have effectively destroyed it for any intelligent person- for this I cry!
Thunder and lightning will strike Orthodox Judaism over the next two weeks; the damage will be irreparable, and thousands will leave the fold because of it- for this I cry!
I analyze the statistics; tens of thousands of people that were born Orthodox have left their heritage over the last thirty years-for this I cry.
I do cry...and how I cry...for a Judaism that has run amok.
UOJ
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Saturday, April 29, 2006 | 160 comments
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Third And Final Hazmana (Summons) To Bais Din Served Today Upon Lipa Margulies And Yudi Kolko
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To All Jewish People Of Goodwill Around The World:
The final communications with two of the most evil Jews alive today are over. The UOJ team wanted to follow the Jewish law by having our grievances heard in bais din.
Lipa Margulies and Yudi Kolko have not responded.
I do not need to spell out what our next step will be.
This is the beginning of the end of Yeshivah Torah Temimah...my advice to members of the staff and to the parents of the students is to look for another place for yourselves and your children.
Rabbis Schustal and Greenfeld, there is a group of wealthy baalei-batim that are willing to back you in opening up a new yeshiva. Ultimately, you need to consider your own future and the future of hundreds of talmidim that will follow you wherever you go. There will be no more Torah Temimah as it exists today. You are welcome to contact me for more details.
Please watch this blog for the latest developments "after" they happen...I do not intend to give notice to the rishaim prior to the next set of events.
We tried....
UOJ
PROOF THAT THE ASHER YATZER GEDOLIM
ARE JUST THAT:
1-FULL PAGE AD IN THE YATED AGAINST PRE-PACKAGED ROMAINE LETTUCE SIGNED BY 60 MORONS WHO HATE HEINNEMAN.
2-AD IN THE HAMODIA, SIGNED BY THE NURSING HOME BRIGADE, AGAINST "THE MAKING OF A GADOL"(DUMBEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN, BY THE DUMBEST PUTZ EVER BORN-UOJ)
3-PAGE TWO AD IN THE YATED INVITING THE "OILAM" TO SHIMSHI SHERER'S DRASHA ON HOW TO MARRY RICH. SEPARATE ADVICE FOR MEN AND WOMEN.(SPONSORED BY THE MOSHE SHERER "JEWISH GROOMING" FOUNDATION.)
4-FULL PAGE AD IN THE JEWISH PRESS ON THE AGUDAH'S UPCOMING DINNER; ONE OF THE HONOREES BEING WJC'S SWINDLER OF THE YEAR, AND PROUD CHAVRUSA IN LEARNING TORAH WITH CARDINAL LUSTIGER AND OTHER CATHOLIC CHURCH MEMBERS, RABBI DOCTOR ISRAEL(BRONFMAN'S WATER BOY) SINGER!
NOT A WORD ABOUT THE REFUSAL OF GANGSTER MARGULIES AND PEDOPHILE KOLKO'S REFUSAL TO COME TO BAIS DIN:
PRICELESS!!!
More wisdom from the Asher Yatzer Nursing Home Brigade!
Apr. 23, 2006 10:14 | Updated Apr. 23, 2006 15:10
Rabbis call for Yisrael Valis' release
By JPOST.COM STAFF
Jerusalem District Attorney Eli Abarbanel met with haredi leaders Sunday afternoon to discuss the possibility of releasing Yisrael Valis on bail. Valis was arrested on suspicion of killing his three-month-old son.
Officials in the district attorney's office stressed that they would wait to decide on bail until they received a psychiatric evaluation on Valis.
A previous meeting scheduled to take place between the district attorney and haredi leaders was cancelled following violent haredi protests over Valis' arrest
Earlier Sunday, Jerusalem rabbis Shalom Elyashiv and Haim Kanievski released a halachic decree declaring that Valis was innocent.
One of the rabbis, speaking to Israel Radio, said that the basis for the decree was that Valis' wife was still supporting him, and that if he had indeed killed his son, she would not be at his side still.
Valis is facing manslaughter charges for beating his baby son to death. He allegedly hurled the boy against the wall after the infant started to cry, and is suspected of repeatedly biting, beating, pinching and punching the infant since his birth. Valis reportedly "did not accept him" due to a defect in the child's neck muscles, police said.
Extremist elements in the haredi community had previously threatened to riot and to "make Jerusalem burn" if the alleged killer is not released from custody, even though police said that he has admitted beating his child.
In a previous effort to ease tensions, rabbinical sages and Valis' family issued a statement two weeks ago calling on protesters to refrain from violence and from burning trash on the street.
Jerusalem Municipality spokesman Gidi Schmerling said last Saturday that haredi riots over the last week have caused NIS 140,000 in damage, including the destruction of 30 city garbage bins.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, April 06, 2006 | 347 comments
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Rishaim Gemurim Margulies & Kolko receive Hazmana # 2 To come to Bais Din Immediately.
Yisroel Belsky's Bogus Hazmana follows...
Click images to enlarge.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, March 30, 2006 | 209 comments
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Lipa Margulies, Yeshiva Torah Temimah And Yudi Kolko Summoned To Bais Din
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A Prominent Torah Temimah Parent Comments Below The Hazmanah
Please allow me to introduce myself to the readership of this blog. My name is Eli Greenwald, and I am a Torah Temimah parent with a keen interest in protecting the well being of my child as well as the health and safety of all of our children.
This comment can be printed as a comment or, if you choose, as a lead post.
When the anonymous letters were distributed to a large segment of the Flatbush community, I was naturally very concerned that such a situation could exist at my child's Yeshiva. With my conscience torn between chas v'shalom falsely accusing an innocent man; yet, on the other hand, unable to rest, knowing that the lives of pure, innocent children may have been shattered in the past and could presently still be at risk, I decided that I must use every available resource to verify whether the charges as stated in the anonymous letters were accurate.
Sadly, after speaking to multiple sources, which included people intimately familiar with the Bais Din proceedings some 25 years ago, I became convinced that not only is there credible overwhelming evidence to support the charges, but that Rabbi Margulies has known about the charges all these years. Though victims came forth to tell their stories of abuse, for reasons known only to G-D, proper and decisive action was not taken against Rabbi Kolko. In fact, action was taken to besmirch the victims' reputations causing them much pain and devastation. By the way, it is my understanding that Bais Din never issued a P'sak on the matter. Most importantly, I have personally spoken to many victims of Rabbi Kolko. Their stories are very real and painful. Children should never have to live through what these and other victims have been through. The effect of their childhood abuse lingers on and remains with them well into their adulthood.
I believe that it is incumbent upon every parent to check into this matter thoroughly using his/her own resources and due diligence. I was able to verify the accuracy of the charges. I am just an individual with no special connections. If I was able to verify the facts, anyone can and should. We do not have any excuses when it comes to the safety of our children! You have not discharged your obligation to safeguard your children by calling the Yeshiva and "feeling relieved" after the administration reassures you that there is no substance to the charges. Perform an independent investigation and you will discover the truth.
Here is my personal story and the price that I have paid for getting involved. Believe me, it is a small price compared to what the victims have suffered through. Though many have tried to discourage me from getting involved specifically because of this fear factor, the victims need to see that there are people out there who do care about them. There must be a light at the end of this dark tunnel that they have walked alone through for so long. Ultimately, Emes does prevail; if not on this world, then, in the next. That is what should keep us all going and striving to do the right thing without ulterior motives.
Upon verifying the charges, I called YTT and spoke to Rabbis Applegrad and Margulies. After telling each of them during separate conversations that I found the evidence to be overwhelming, I was told that they would not be taking any action to address the situation. In fact, instead of addressing the strong concerns expressed by a long-time parent and graduate of Yeshiva Torah Temimah, a few hours after speaking to Rabbi Margulies, I received a Hazmana from Rabbi Kolko summoning me to Bais Din (please see attached Hazmana) for being Motzei Shem Ra. Flabbergasted to say the least, I realized that this was an intimidation tactic -
something that was used very effectively during the prior Bais Din proceedings. I responded to the Hazmana by agreeing to go to a different Bais Din and have not heard back from the Torah Temimah team since.
I have deep empathy for the innocent members of Rabbi Kolko's family who will suffer as a result of what their dear loved one has wreaked upon them. I empathize with Rabbi Kolko as well and wish that he would seek the help that he so desperately needs. I do not wish to see Rabbi Kolko suffer any embarrassment and do not have any enmity towards him. My only wish is for him to be removed from his current position and that he is not allowed to regain employment around children again. Bearing this in mind, I believe that the comments on this blog should be restricted to mature, well thought out comments that contribute to the public dialogue and purpose of this blog, and not childish, boorish remarks that are personal in nature and decrease the blog's effectiveness.
I have known Rabbi Kolko for quite some time and this conflict of interest has made it even more difficult for me to get involved. However, to ignore the reality would be a perversion of justice. The victims and the safety of our children should and must be our ultimate consideration. Too many people at the highest levels of our leading organizations have known about this and chosen to ignore it. Trust me, I have spoken to some of those people and felt very discouraged after talking to them. They have applied Midas HaRachamim to the abuser/ perpetrator while applying a strict Midas HaDin to the victims. The needs, feelings and rights of the victims as well as the safety of our innocent children have literally been ignored and left by the wayside. This is not only a shame, but is truly Midas Sedom. To those on the street who are spreading rumors about my "personal vendetta" against Rabbi Kolko, the truth is there for all that wish to see it. All you need to do is take the blinders off your eyes.
Most outrageous is how YTT handled the entire incident since the allegations were brought to their attention over 20 years ago. Instead of removing this Rebbi from the Yeshiva and giving him the help that he needed, they chose to keep him on staff and pretend that the problem didn't exist. Rabbi Margulies could have done the right thing, but instead chose to embark on a path that has led to the destruction of many more lives and the current debacle. This is truly unforgivable!
I encourage everyone to begin to sign their names to their comments and posts. I address this to UOJ as well. While I certainly understand your strategic reasons for remaining anonymous, I believe that, at some point, you should unmask your cloak of anonymity. Yes, you have made controversial statements in the past, many that I disagree with, and you may not want to reveal your identity, but you should do so anyway. The only REAL and EFFECTIVE way for the community to break through the wall of resistance is for concerned and involved members of the community to step forward without fear of being exposed. I am doing this today. Mr. Alster has done the same. Kudos to Attorney Elliot Pasik who has been at the forefront for quite some time. As we continue to remain ANONYMOUS, we encourage and enable those who are taking advantage of us to continue to do so. By remaining anonymous, we are recoiling in fear. This is not the proper solution to the issue.
We must begin to form parent groups for the purpose of educating ourselves and our children about this very important topic. Mr. Pasik has spoken about background checks and an internal registry, etc. These are topics and initiatives that need the grassroots support of the parent community at large. Then, and only then, will the organizations act to implement these important solutions. We need involved parents who are willing to step forward with courage despite the resistance that they are sure to encounter along the way.
Any volunteers?
Please feel free to contact me if you would like to verify the above information.
bes1267@yahoo.com
Eli Greenwald
belsky_hazmana.pdf (60k)
Interested readers should contact Eli Greenwald for a copy of the hazmana Yisroel Belsky issued to him.
Yisroel Belsky,
I'm talking to you now...listen very carefully.
1-You knew about Kolko since the 1960's from Camp Agudah...you did nothing!
2-You were in the room and part of the bais din twenty years ago; you heard testimony from at least three of Kolko's victims, and you did nothing!
3-You are now playing along with this farce; you should have kicked Kolko out of your house on his guilty tuchis...you issued a bogus hazmana!
Yisroel Belsky...You will be summoned to testify in court; we have witnesses who will testify that you knew about Kolko's behavior for forty years; YOU STOOD BY AS HUNDREDS OF KIDS WERE MOLESTED BY THIS NON-KOSHER ANIMAL!
It's no wonder your life has been relegated to the trash bin of kashrus...you are no better than the animals you supposedly supervise for kosher slaughter.
So what if their lungs are ripped out k'neged halacha...you are getting paid well to look away!
Who is paying you in the Kolko matter? Margulies, Kolko???
We'll see your corrupt tuchis in court!
UOJ
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, March 23, 2006 | 186 comments
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Yeshivas Should Not Exist If They Violate The Basic Precepts Of The Torah!
A Reader Writes.....
UOJ
"Sheinberg knew what he was doing; to give him a pass is tantamount to permitting retzicha....
Sheinberg is a rasha gamur for what he did ...."
Many Gedolim, even in response to the latest incarnation of the Kolko scandal, believe that it is their sacred duty to protect the Yeshiva system from any blemish. They fear that the eruption of such a scandal will cause the demise of the entire Yeshiva system. While I believe that this approach is Kineged Halacha and Daas Torah and extremely misguided I would still not use the term term "rasha gamur".
I also agree that we are dealing here with Dinei Nefashos a fact that they appear not to apprehend. Nevertheless, a Dayan can make a mistake in Dinei Nefashos as well.
There are many misconceptions about molestation that people from a certain generation just don't get or are unwilling to face.
You suggest "he knew what he was doing" that he fully understood the horrific ramifications of what he did, knew that what he was doing was against Halacha and did it anyway. I think the jury's still out on that. I would like to believe that he just doesn't appreciate the enormity of this matter or its correct Halachic implications.
For example, the one Gadol you suscribe to in previous posts was the Lubavitcher Rebbe. I think most people agree that the Meshichistin in Lubavitch have made a complete churban of both Judaism and Lubavitch. And the question arises did the Rebbe know and want this. I ask you if he was such as brilliant man didn't he realize that evreybody in Lubavitch was saying he was Moshiach. Of course he knew. And yet you admire him.
The flaw in the aforementioned Gedolim's reasoning is that if the Yeshiva system can only survive by supressing molestation, the whole system should be shut down. Not tommorow but today, immediately. The Netziv closed down Volozhin when the Government decreed they have to study Russian. Yeshivas only exist to do the will of Hashem. They cannot be predicated on violating basic precepts of the Torah. If truth, getting rid of these rotten apples will only serve to strenghten and purify the Yeshiva system tremendously. We don't need these menuvalim to thrive. The notion that we do is truly flawed.
--
Posted by Anonymous to Un-Orthodox Jew at 3/21/2006 07:03:57 PM
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Tuesday, March 21, 2006 | 46 comments
Pinchos Sheinberg's Grandson An Infamous Sexual Predator-How Is That For Motive In Preventing Justice For Lipa Margulies/Yudi Kolko?
The Awareness Center
Case of Rabbi Yaakov Weiner
Camp Mogen Avraham
(Grandson of Rabbi Chaim Pinchus Scheinberg, who is a decendent of the Chofetz Chaim)
Camp and State Health Department records filed in court indicate that the parents were not told of the alleged abuse until nearly 48 hours after the boy spoke of it, while the 36-year-old Weiner's father, a rabbi well-known in the Queens Orthodox community, was notified sooner. --- "We believe that there was pressure placed on the victim and children's families to get them not to testify," said Sullivan County District Attorney Stephen Lungen in a recent telephone interview. "There was a child who could have substantiated what was said, and that family would not cooperate. --- The entire matter left Sullivan County Judge Frank Labuda confused. --- "It is clear in the evening hours of August 8 and the morning of August 9, two years ago, something happened at bunk 3 Gimel bunk... " he said in his January 2000 ruling. But Labuda concluded that trial testimony "does not create a clear picture for this court of exactly what happened in Gimel bunk nor who did it."
He found Weiner not guilty.-- Jewish Community Grapples With Sex Abuse
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Disclaimer: Inclusion in this website does not constitute a recommendation or endorsement. Individuals must decide for themselves if the resources meet their own personal needs.
Table of Contents:
Camp Mogen Avraham - Incident Report (10/30/1998)
Victims Statement (12/30/1998)
Allegations of Camper Abuse - Camp Mogen Avraham (04/02/1999)
Rabbi Charged In Sex Abuse (02/20/1999)
Last in a Series: `Conspiracy of silence' fuels rabbis' sexual misdeeds (11/01/1999)
SUPREME COURT - STATE OF NEW YORK (03/26/2003)
Jewish Community Grapples With Sex Abuse (05/27/2003)
Also see:
Rabbi Yaakov Weiner Family History
Offenders: Problems Our Parents Wouldn't Speak Of
Rabbis, Cantors, and Other Trusted Officials
Recidivism of Sex Offenders (U.S. Department of Justice: Center for Sex Offender Management)
When Melodies, Torah Scholars, and Abuse Collide
(Top)
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Please note that the alleged victim's name and the name of the two minor witnesses have been removed from this report.
Defense Exhibit G
Camp Mogen Avraham - Incident Report re: Alleged Victim
October 30, 1998
Sunday, August 9, 1998 At approximately 9:15 P.M. the Junior D. H. (Mendel Zlotnick) reported that a child (Alleged Victim) in bunk gimel was upset and had told a Staff asst. that a staff member had sexually harassed him. I told the D.H. to send the child to me and that I would deal with the situation.
I interviewed the child. He stated that a person had come into the bunk last night (Saturday night) very late and had come over to his bed. He (Alleged Victim) was lying on his stomach and made like he was sleeping. According to Alleged Victim, the person put a blunt metallic-like object on his buttocks, tore the seam on his pajama bottoms and kissed him there. The person did not exert force to hurt him nor did he hit him in any way. The individual then got up, went to the sink in the bathroom which was located right near Alleged Victim's bed, washed his hands and left the bunk. The entire incident lasted less than a minute and no words at all were exchanged. When I asked if he saw who it was or the person's back or any part of him, he said "no". He said that he remained on his stomach because he was afraid, making believe he was sleeping thought the incident. He then said that there were other boys who were up who saw what was going on and had told him they thought it was R' Yaakov Weiner. I asked for their names and he told me "Witness 1" and "Witness 2". I requested that Alleged Victim bring me the pajama bottoms. As I recall they were shorts and the seam in the back was open about three inches. I then asked Alleged Victim if he had told his parents about what had occurred as it had been visiting day, that same day. He responded saying that he had not discussed the incident with his parents when they visited him that day because he was afraid.
I met with each one of the boys separately. They both are from (name of town withheld). Both boys stated that someone came into the bunk. They also had made believe that they were sleeping. The person went over to Alleged Victims bed. They heard some noise but saw nothing that was going on. They also both said that they did not see the person's face at all, but from the back of his head, when he went into the bathroom, it looked like Yaakov Weiner's wavy hair.
I sent people to find Yaakov Weiner but was told that he had left camp to go to a concert. I waited up until after 12:15 AM (Camp Time) and when he still hadn't returned, I went to sleep, leaving a message the I wanted to speak to him.
Monday, August 10 I informed Rabbi Kaminetsky about the reported incident and we agreed that I would speak with Yaakov Weiner.
The two other boys came to me in the early morning before I spoke to Yaakov Weiner saying that they think they made a mistake. I asked them why they changed their minds and they said "it couldn't be Rabbi Weiner, he wouldn't do such a thing". In my mind I discounted this as merely their feeling guilty of accusing Rabbi Weiner of such behavior, and told them not to worry about it, we were taking care of it.
I met with Yaakov after breakfast for approximately 1 1/2 hours. Despite much pressure, he maintained that he didn't know what I was talking about and when told of the accusation (but not the name of the accuser), he denied it completely. After seeing that he would not admit to anything, I suggested that he call and inform his father, which he did. I then also spoke to his father. I expressed my concerns that although there were no eyewitnesses that positively identified Yaakov, there were two boys who believed it was him (again, no names were mentioned), and that I had enough suspicion and concern that I felt Yaakov should leave camp immediately, even if he were innocent. Yaakov's father agreed that despite his believe that Yaakov was totally innocent, it would be best for all that he leave. Rabbi Weiner (sr.) stressed that by no means should his leaving be viewed as an admission of guilt, but rather as away to get Yaakov out of a situation of being accused and the issue festering and possibly becoming public. Rabbi Weiner stated that he will be on top of the situation and be in touch. Yaakov left right after lunch. To my knowledge he never had an opportunity to speak to any of the boys at any time before he left nor was he informed as to who were his accusers.
I reported all of this to Rabbi Kaminetsky who in turn said that he would call Alleged Victim's parents. I also informed Alleged Victim that Yaakov Weiner was no longer in camp. He seemed relieved by that. I spent some time counseling him, My general sense of Alleged Victim was that although initially upset, he was handling the situation well and not showing any adverse effects.
Tuesday, August 11? Rabbi Kaminetsky informed me that Alleged Victims parents would be coming up to camp to evaluate the situation in person and they would want to speak with me. When the Alleged Victim's Parents came, they met with their son and I spoke to them for about 10 minutes. Despite being obviously upset by the incident, they expressed gratitude for our professional handling of the situation and felt reassured that it was wise for the Alleged Victim to remain in camp. We discussed camp not reporting the incident based on the lack of positive identification and evidence, my having informed Yaakov Weiner's father, and the relatively low level of the alleged abuse. We all concurred that considering the above factors and the trauma that would possibly result from further action, it would be best not to take any additional action. The Alleged Victim's parents were very agreeable to this approach. I also stated that we would watch Alleged Victim closely to make sure that he was not being adversely affected, that he would call them before Shabbos, and that I would counsel him if needed.
Thursday, August 13? Alleged Victim's Mother called and felt that the shorts that Alleged Victim had been wearing that night should be thrown out as it might be upsetting him. I relayed the message to Alleged Victim.
Throughout the rest of the trip I kept a close watch on Alleged Victim and asked his D.H. to regularly report to me as to how he was doing. These reports, observations and my brief encounters with Alleged Victim yielded only the most positive results. Alleged Victim was fully involved, enjoying all camp activities and functioning well.
Tuesday, August 25 A day after returned from Camp Rabbi Weiner (Sr.) called saying that Yaakov was still distraught over the allegations and wanted to clear his name. He would like to take a lie detector test. Rabbi Weiner asked if I would be involved. I responded, "Let me look into it". Upon doing some research, I sent Rabbi Weiner a letter stating my opinion, based on research and an article written by William Safire, which I enclosed. I stated that I would not be convinced of Yaakov's innocence even if the polygraph was negative, and once again urged him to seek professional help for Yaakov
Signed
Label Steinhardt
Program Director
October, 30, 1998
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Victims Statement
County of Nassau - Town of Hempstead - State of New York
Defendants Exhibit F - 06/05/00 (initials mp)
(Please note that the names of the alleged victim and family members have been removed)
I (alleged victim) am 10 years old and I live at (victims address withheld), New York. I am giving this statement to Investigator Geoffrey Cabrera of the New York State Police about what Yaakov Weiner did to me this past summer when I was at summer camp in -Sullivan County, New York. I (alleged victim) know the difference between the truth and a lie and I know that the private parts of the body are the wiener and the buns and the anus.
I went to Camp Mogan Avrahom in the end of July 1998. I slept in bunk gimel. Yaakov Weiner slept in the bottom bunk of next to mine. The first week or two of Camp went fine. I had a good time at camp until the day before visiting day which was August 9, 1998. That night, August 8th, was shabbos. It was easy day I did pretty much what ever I want. That night, after shabbos I know I woke up because someone ripped the back of my shorts open. I was sleeping on my stomach but I turned my head and took a glimpse at who was doing this. I saw Yaakov Weiner there. The bathroom light was on and I knew him clearly. I was scared to death because I saw that he had something in his hand as I pretended to be asleep. I was just wishing that he would go away. Then he covered me with a blanket and he went by his bed for a few minutes. He came back over to my bed and uncovered me. There he took his finger and stuck it in my crack and inside my anus. He did that for a few minutes and then he put his mouth on my buns and kissed me there. Then he got up and went to the bathroom and washed his hands then he came back undressed and layed across me and started rubbing his wiener on my buns. He did that for a few minutes and then he got up and went away. He came back again a few minutes ------ and did it again rubbing his wiener on my buns. He put his wiener close to my crack but not inside or against my anus. Then he throw a pillow on the floor and sat on the pillow. Then he started touching my buns with his hands. After that he went away and went to his bed and went to sleep. I didn't want to stay in the bunk anymore so I changed my shorts and got a blanket. I went out on the porch and stayed there sitting awake. The next day was visiting day and my ------ came to visit but I didn't tell them what happened because I was scared. That night I told a staff assistant Yimmy Tannebaum what Yaakov Weiner did to me.
I, (alleged victim) have read this statement and I know that it is all true to the best of my knowledge.
Dated: December 30, 1998
At Woodmere, New York
Signed by Victim and his parent
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Allegations of Camper Abuse
CAMP MOGEN AVRAHAM
SULIVAN COUNTY
Report Prepared by: Timothy Shay R.
Senior Sanitarian
April 2, 1999
(Please note that the names of the alleged victim and family members have been removed)
A) Notification / Verification:
On October 23, 1998, the Monticello District Office (MDO) was notified by Mr. Brian Devine Senior Sanitarian with the Bureau of Community Sanitation & Food Protection (BCSFP), of an allegation of camper sexual abuse involving a child who attended Camp Mogen Avraham, a children's overnight camp (T. Bethel) in Sullivan County. BCSFP staff were alerted to the allegation by the NYS Child Protective Agency which had been informed of the August 8, 1998 incident through a mandated reporter, from the Peninsula counseling Center in Woodmere, NY, who was counseling the victim.
Mr. Timothy Shay, Senior Sanitarian, verified the allegation through a telephone call to the counseling center that same day.
B) Allegation:
The victim, then year old (alleged victim), alleged that on August 8, 1998 while sleeping in his bunk, he was awaken when Rabbi Yaakov Weiner, a religious instructor at camp, ripped a hole in the rear of his shorts and touched and kissed his buttocks and anus. (alleged victim), also alleged that Rabbi Weiner laid on top of him and rubbed his genitals against him. The abuses occurred during a brief period in which the camp's O.D. (on duty) system was being implemented. The Rabbi reportedly moved about the bunk between (alleged victim), bed, his own bed and the bathroom during the incident.
(Alleged victim), stated that he knew who his attacker was because he was able to see Rabbi Weiner in the light of the bathroom and because the Rabbi returned to his own bed in the bunk after the assault. Two campers in the bunk witnessed the incident.
(Alleged victim), reported the incident to camp staff following evening. The specifics of (alleged victim), allegations were obtained through an interview of his mother, (name withheld).
C) Findings:
1. Camp's Response:
Rabbi Label Steinhardt, the camp's program director, investigated the incident by conducting interviews on Sunday evening, August 9, 1998 with alleged victim and the two campers who witnessed the incident and by questioning the alleged perpetrator the following day (see Appendix #1).
Rabbi Steinhardt's investigation confirmed the nature and time of the allegation, but by his accounts, the identity of the attacker was unclear. Rabbi Steinhart reported that alleged victim did not positively identify the attacker and that the perpetrator left the bunk house after conducting a brief assault.
Rabbi Steinhardt stated that the two witnesses did not see the perpetrators face but thought Rabbi Weiner because of his "wavy hair".
Rabbi Weiner's sleeping accommodations were in bunk 3. His bed was next to Alleged Victim's and within the same room as the other 8 campers and staff. All 8 of the campers in the room at the time of the alleged abuse, where as, all of the staff were reported to be at the hall for a staff party. The dinning hall is located several hundred yards from the bunks.
Rabbi Steinhardt was not able to question Rabbi Weiner about the allegation until Monday, August 10, 1998, because Rabbi Weiner was out of camp until late Sunday evening. Despite the allegation against him, Rabbi Weiner was allowed to sleep in bunk 3 with alleged victim and the campers when he returned to camp late Sunday night. Rabbi Steinhardt stated that Rabbi Weiner was not prevented from sleeping in the bunk because he was not convinced that Rabbi Weiner was the perpetrator. When questioned on Monday, Rabbi Weiner adamantly denied involvement but left camp that day based on Rabbi Steinhart's suggestions.
(Parents names withheld) were notified about the incident by Rabbi Kaminetsky, the camp's Director. Tuesday evening, August 11, 1998. They came to the camp on Wednesday to discuss the incident and evaluate alleged victims condition.
On August 11, 1998, after speaking with Rabbi Steinhard and (alleged victim the parents) decided ((alleged victim) was handling the situation well and would stay in camp. They also agreed that "authorities" would not be contacted due to the lack of positive identification of the perpetrator. (Alleged victim's parent), subsequently informed Mr. Shay that she felt pressured into not reporting the incident to "authorities".
2. Supervision
At the time of the incident, the camp was implementing an "on-duty" (O.D.) system of supervision. This system which was employed each night between 10:00pm and 12:00 am after the campers were settled in bed allowed one counselor to supervise 6 to 8 bunks while the bunks primary counselor was off duty. (Each bunk has 8 to 9 campers and there are two bunks per building). The system required the O.D. counselor "make rounds" to ensure there are no problems and check in with division head twice during his shift. Due to the late reporting of this allegation, the identity of the on duty counselor for (alleged victim's) bunk on the night of the incident could not established. Consequently, the actions and observations of that individual are unknown.
3. Safety Plan:
Camp Mogen Avraham's written safety plan was last approved by the MDO on June 3, 1993. This plan was revised and updated on February 13, 1997 in accordance with the 1996 children's camp code revisions and the department's safety plan guidelines. On March 17, 1997, the updated written plan was reviewed by MDO staff and the operator was informed that it contained insufficient detail to be accepted. On May 8, 1997, a revised plan was submitted by the camp but it was not reviewed by MDO staff until November 18, 1998 (as part of this investigation) due to a lack of available staff resources.
The November 18, 1998 review found that although the revised plan contained much of the previously requested information, it still lacked sufficient and accurate details to be accepted. ------ plan's deficiencies include and unacceptable O.D. system which had an unspecified by apparently inadequate staff to camper supervision ratio permitted intermittent visual and/or veri------- communication capability between camper and staff between 10:00 p.m. and 12:00 am. The plan also contained a policy system which required only allegations of abuse, which the camp determined to be true to be reported to the Health Department.
The previously submitted safety plans (1993 and February 13, 1997) contained neither sufficient detail to identify the deficiencies of the O.D. system nor the erroneous statement pertaining to abuse reporting
4. Alleged Perpetrator:
Yaakov Weiner is 36 years old and unmarried. He was hired in a teaching position, which commonly referred to as a "learning Rabbi", for the camp's second session which began July 1998. He had been employed at the camp for approximately ten summers and occupied several positions including bunk counselor and rotation counselor in 1994 and 1995. Evaluations of performance from these periods showed Rabbi Weiner to be a less than ideal candidate for rehiring as a bunk or rotation counselor (see Appendix #2). Rabbi Steinhardt stated it w as for this reason he was given the more structured position of a Learning Rabbi. Neither of the job performance evaluations showed that Rabbi Weiner had a history of abuse or inappropriate contact with campers. Records for the 1996-1998, including job performance evaluations, staff employment application, training records, were not provided to the MDO when requested. Rabbi Weiner is not believed to have attended the camp's 1998 pre-camp staff training because he was not at camp for that session. Rabbi Weiner's job duties were to provide religious instructions to campers. Rabbi Steinhardt stated that Rabbi Weiner had no supervisonal responsibilities in the bunk. He was assigned to sleep in Bunk #3 because there was an available bed.
5. Other Agencies Involvement:
An Investigation by the NYS (New York State) Police in Liberty, NY has resulted in Rabbi Weiner being arrested on February 11, 1999 and charged with endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor, State Police Investigators reported that Alleged Victim was very credible and that the testimony of the campers who had witnessed the incident was similar to the account provided by Rabbi Steinhardt it appeared they had been influenced by someone.
D. Analysis and Conclusions:
Alleged Victim's disclosure camp staff of his experience the night of August 8, 1998 constituted allegations of abuse which warranted notification by the camp to DOH and other investigative agencies. Conclusion is reached regardless of which version of the incident is more accurate (the camp's or alleged victim's). As such, the camp's failure to report to the MDO within 24 hours an allegation of camper abuse is a violation of Section 7-2.8(d) of Subpart 7-2 of the NYS Sanitary Code and will be the subject administrative enforcement action against the camp. It is not believed that the camp's failure to report due to improper information in their written safety plan, which stated that only allegations which determined to be true would be reported. In this case, the allegations was believed to be true, It was only the identity of the perpetrator that was in question.
The camp's failure to prevent Rabbi Weiner from sleeping in a camper bunk the night of the alleged abuse disclosure was inappropriate and placed the camper, especially alleged victim at unreasonable risk to their health and safety including physical and sexual abuse. This unreasonable risk to camper's health and safety is a violation of Section 7-2.5(n)(1) of Subpart 702 and will also be part of administrative enforcement action against the camp. The camp should have placed the well being of the campers above any concern that Rabbi Weiner was being falsely accused and as such, required him to sleep separate from campers until the matter could be thoroughly investigated by the appropriate authorities. Especially assuming that Alleged Victim did not identify his attacker to camp staff. Camp administrative staff should have realized that allowing Rabbi Weiner to sleep in the same quarters as Alleged Victim placed additional avoidable mental anguish on the child who believed that Rabbi Weiner had accosted him based on eyewitness accounts of the two other campers.
The camp's O.D. System as described in their May 8, 1997 written safety plan is not acceptable because it does not provide for continuous visual and/or verbal communication capabilities between campers and staff because the staff to camper ratio (as low as 1:72) is unacceptable to handle emergencies during sleep/resting periods and the camp was not informed that their O.D. System was unacceptable camp implemented it as written during the 1997-1998 seasons. As a result, no administrative enforcement action will be taken for this deficiency.
The camp's policy of housing staff who are not directly responsible for camper supervision in camp bunks is inappropriate. Although addiction staff in the bunks would increase the staff to camper ratio, the benefit of the additional staff is questionable without the staff having specific supervisory responsibilities and training. In fact, this policy allows an opportunistic individual legitimate access to campers on their bunks that might otherwise not be available. Providing a designated staff bunk is the resolution to this problem: however if it is not possible, employing a camp policy which requires two staff be present at all times camper and staff are together would greatly enhance camper safety.
The lack or unavailability of a current employment application (with references) and the alleged perpetrator's failure to attend pre-camp training are both technical violations of Subpart 7-2. How neither is believed to have contributed to the incident because it is assumed that the camp's knowledge and Rabbi Weiner's background and acceptability would surpass that of any reference he may have supplied that he would have gained sufficient knowledge from previous experience at camp to fulfill his job duties as a teacher.
Recommendations:
The camp's written policy for reporting allegations of abuse must be modified to indicate all allegations of abuse will be reported to the MDO within 24 hours. Additionally, the written safety plan and staff training must identify indicators of abuse, the camp policy handling an allegation and designate the person(s) responsible for reporting to the MDO.
The camp must revamp its O.D. System for supervision campers to provide continuous and/or verbal communication capabilities between campers and staff, and a higher staff camp ratio to deal with emergencies. Additionally, consideration should be given to mandating "two deep" staff supervision at all times including O.D. to lesson future abuse.
The camp shoujld consider separate housing for staff not assigned specific bunk supervision duties.
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Rabbi Charged In Sex Abuse
by Caren Halbfinger
Journal News (Westchester County, NY) - February 20, 1999 Saturday - NEWS; Pg. 1B
YONKERS - A city yeshiva teacher has been charged with sexually abusing a 10-year-old boy last summer at a Sullivan County camp.
Rabbi Yaakov Weiner, who teaches kindergartners and first-graders at Stein Yeshiva of Lincoln Park in Yonkers, is accused of sexually touching a 10-year-old boy in a cabin at Camp Mogen Avraham in Bethel in the early morning hours of Aug. 9, state police investigator Geoffrey Cabrera said yesterday.
There were other boys in the cabin at the time, Cabrera said. Weiner taught Judaic studies at the camp. Weiner is to appear March 4 in Thompson Town Court on charges of first-degree sexual abuse, a felony, and endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor. Weiner, 36, of Forest Hills, Queens, was charged Feb. 11 and was released Feb. 12 after posting $25,000 bail.
Sullivan County District Attorney Stephen Lungen said yesterday that he was continuing to investigate the case and that he expected to present it to a grand jury within the next few weeks.
Cabrera said he called the principal at Stein Yeshiva, an Orthodox religious school, to verify Weiner's employment on Monday and found school officials caught off-guard about the investigation.
'' They hadn't been informed by (Weiner), and they were pretty mortified, '' Cabrera said. '' They said they had never dealt with anything like this in the past. ''
School officials refused to answer questions yesterday and told parents not to speak to a reporter. But from the shocked reaction of one mother, it appeared the school had told parents little about the charge against Weiner.
The 10-year-old boy, who lives in Nassau County, reported the incident to camp officials immediately, Cabrera said.
But, Lungen said, camp officials never reported the incident to police.
School officials, doctors and child-care workers are required by state law to report suspected incidents of abuse.
The camp's Manhattan office was closed yesterday.
The child's parents told Nassau County police about the alleged abuse in late October. Nassau County police immediately passed the information to state police in Liberty, N.Y., Cabrera said, but Lungen said his office wasn't notified until a week ago.
'' We're trying to figure out what happened, '' Lungen said. '' We're looking into what caused the delay. It appears the original officer who got the case got transferred and never followed it up. Unfortunately, those things do happen, and that's the way it appears. ''
Cabrera said he was assigned to the case on Dec. 10, after being transferred to the Liberty State Police Barracks from Orange County, where he had spent the past six years investigating child abuse cases. He would not comment on what happened to the case before he started to work on it.
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SHORT FORM ORDER
SUPREME COURT - STATE OF NEW YORK
Present: HON. ROBERT ROBERTO, JR.
Justice
Please Note: The fact that the Camp settled is very significant. The timing also indicates that this may have been done to quiet the victim's family and prevent disclosure in the newspaper. This settlement occurred during the time that Newday journalist, Stephanie Saul was working on her article Jewish Community Grapples With Sex Abuse. --Name withheld upon request --
TRIAL/IAS PART 2
NASSAU COUNTRY
SPECIAL TERM PART II
SEALING ORDER
Index No. 14030/99
Court's Mtn: 3/26/03
CHILD VICTIM'S NAME WITHHELD, an infant under the age of 14, by his m/n/g, CHILD VICTIM'S PARENT'S NAMES WITHHELD, individually,
Plantiff(s),
- against-
CAMPS MOGEN AVRAHAM, HELLER, STERNBERG, INC. and YAAKOV WEINER,
Defendant(s)
Infant's compromise order, with supporting papers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .X
Upon the foregoing papers it is ordered that this court file is sealed.
The Clerk is directed to mark the file "sealed" and not to provide access thereto except to the parties or their counsel, upon appropriate identification, or upon further order of this Court.
Date: March 26, 2003 Robert Roberto, JR., J.S.C.
Entered: April 3, 2003 - Nassau County County Clerk's Office
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Jewish Community Grapples With Sex Abuse
By Stephanie Saul - Staff Writer
Newsday - May 26, 2003, 8:10 PM EDT
http://www.nynewsday.com/news/local/crime/nyc-rabbi0527,0,3810252.story?coll=nyc-manheadlines-crime
This is the first in a three-part series.
It was the sound of ripping cloth, they said, that woke them up.
On an August night in the Catskills, with summer camp almost over, the boys had fallen asleep in their bunkhouse, exhausted from play and religious study. Only minutes later, they would later testify in court, the noise awakened them. Then came mysterious movements in the dark cabin. The campers lay still. Why was a human figure hovering over the bed of a 10-year-old Woodmere boy?
The terrified boy blurted out his allegation to a camp counselor almost a day later: Someone, he said, had torn open the seat of his pajamas and sexually abused him.
The boy's parents were called to camp more than a day later, but police were not notified.
"We all concurred that considering the trauma that would possibly result from further action, it would be best not to take any additional action," according to the camp's notes, later filed in court in a civil suit. A state Department of Health sanitarian later found that the camp violated state regulations by not reporting the accusation.
Police learned of the allegations two months later, alerted by a psychologist who was treating the boy. The boy's mother later told a state official she felt pressured to remain silent, according to state health department records. After all, the alleged abuser and the camp officials were revered religious leaders.
The accused was eventually acquitted by a judge, who said "contradictory and sometimes retracting statements" left him unclear about what happened. The camp suggests that the alleged incident was fabricated.
After more than a year of charges and disclosures concerning sexual abuse of young people by Catholic priests, the story may sound familiar. But the camp, Mogen Avraham, is a popular summer retreat in Bethel for Orthodox Jewish children. And the accused was not a priest, but a teaching rabbi from Forest Hills.
The alleged 1998 incident at Camp Mogen Avraham is just one in a growing dossier of allegations that rabbis, cantors and other Jewish religious leaders have abused children and teenagers in their care, a Newsday investigation has found.
In sheer numbers, the problem is unlikely to rival the Catholic Church's, since priests outnumber rabbis by roughly nine to one. While there is no data on the number of clergy with sexual disorders, experts say that, anecdotally, the problem does not seem as severe in the rabbinate as in the priesthood, even in relative terms.
Even so, some rabbis call the sexual abuse allegations a "crisis," and religious organizations are grappling with ways to handle it.
"We have a huge problem on our hands, a problem that is just beginning to be addressed in religious circles," Vicki Polin, a psychotherapist, said in recent testimony to the Maryland legislature.
Polin, who is Jewish and calls herself a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, runs The Awareness Center, a Baltimore-based clearinghouse that tracks sexual abuse allegations against Jewish religious leaders. The center's Web site lists about 40 alleged cases of abuse involving rabbis and cantors. As with the Catholic scandals, Jewish victims say they still struggle years, even decades, later with this betrayal of trust.
"I can honestly say that he ruined not only my Bas-Mitzvah, but my faith in Judaism," wrote one woman, now 30, referring to Rabbi Sidney Goldenberg. In a letter to California prosecutors, the woman said Goldenberg, then a cantor, made lewd comments and rubbed her thigh in her parents' home in Seaford in 1985. At the time, he was supposed to be helping her prepare for her bat mitzvah, the joyous and solemn religious celebration when a Jewish girl turns 13.
Goldenberg was convicted in 1997 of abusing a 12-year-old California bat mitzvah student, after investigators uncovered a 27-year trail of complaints by girls against him. He served three years and is now living on Coney Island, according to police.
Like the Goldenberg case, the abuse allegations tend to have common elements, including some familiar from the Catholic scandals:
Children and in some cases parents are reluctant to accuse respected clergymen. When they do, they are often disbelieved, dismissed, even derided.
"You have to understand the extent to which the guys in the school looked up to [the rabbi]," says one man, now 38, who says he was abused as a teenager by a rabbi now teaching in Israel. "He was beyond question."
And another rabbi recalls dismissing several girls' complaints against Goldenberg as "some giggly thing."
Religious authorities fail to report abuse charges to the police. Among strictly observant Orthodox Jews, this tendency is bolstered by the ancient doctrine of mesira, which prohibits Jews from informing on other Jews to secular authorities, a legacy of centuries of oppression of Jews in many countries.
When religious leaders try to investigate cases and prevent abusers from having contact with children, their efforts often fail. "Few rabbis have any training in recognizing abuse, and the rabbinical courts have no investigative arm," says Rabbi Yosef Blau, the spiritual counselor to students at Yeshiva University.
Alleged abusers continue to operate freely by moving among congregations, states, even countries. Avrohom Mondrowitz, a self-styled rabbi who once had a popular radio show in Brooklyn, is living openly and teaching in a Jerusalem college although he is wanted on charges of sexually abusing four Brooklyn boys, aged 10 to 16. If he ever returns to the United States, he will be arrested, according to the office of Brooklyn District Attorney Charles J. Hynes.
Many of the alleged abusers were popular, even charismatic leaders, who were thought to be particularly good in relating to young people. Rabbi Baruch Lanner, convicted last year of endangering the welfare of two girls at a New Jersey yeshiva, sidestepped abuse allegations for years, in part because of his reputation as a dynamic figure in an Orthodox youth program.
Unlike the Catholic Church, Jewish authority is not centralized, but various groups within the branches of Judaism have begun to strengthen anti-abuse policies for their members.
At its annual meeting, which starts today in Rye, the Rabbinical Council of America, an organization of 1,100 Orthodox rabbis, features programs on curbing abuse, including one entitled "Rabbinic Behavior: Confronting a Crisis of Accountability."
"We're trying to establish that inappropriate behavior is inexcusable," said Rabbi Hershel Billet, president of the organization and rabbi at Young Israel of Woodmere.
Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinreb, a psychotherapist who is also the Orthodox Union's executive vice president, said he hopes the rabbinical council will make a firm commitment during the meeting "to develop a real, real tight program" combating sexual abuse.
The rabbinical council is expected to discuss ways to adjudicate abuse allegations against its members, with penalties that include ouster.
Sources within the organization say that the impetus for the panel's work includes old abuse allegations against Rabbi Ephraim Bryks of Kew Gardens Hills, which he has repeatedly denied, and the recent arrest of Rabbi Israel Kestenbaum of Highland Park, N.J.
Kestenbaum, a chaplaincy leader for the New York Board of Rabbis, was charged in February with endangering the welfare of a minor after allegedly discussing sex with an undercover police officer posing as a teenage girl in a chat room called "I Love Older Men." Kestenbaum has pleaded not guilty.
Rabbis concerned about sex abuse say accusations against a rabbi are often handled quietly, or not at all. Accused rabbis go on hiatus briefly, then revive their ministries in other congregations, even other countries in the far-flung Diaspora.
One of those was Rabbi Matis Weinberg. Accused of sexually abusing students at his California yeshiva two decades ago, he is said to have agreed to leave teaching. But Weinberg resurrected his teaching career in Israel. When Yeshiva University in Manhattan recently unearthed the allegations against Weinberg, the New York school severed its ties to the Jerusalem college where Weinberg had lectured until recently.
Weinberg has never been charged with a crime and has denied the former students' allegations. Through a friend, he declined to discuss the charges with Newsday.
The allegations against Weinberg have been widely reported in the Jewish press and have helped bring the issue to the fore in recent months.
Like the Orthodox rabbis' council, representatives of other branches of Judaism say they are taking steps to combat sexual abuse.
"I would rather this not become an epidemic and I think what we need to do is take affirmative steps to guide people before they make mistakes," said Rabbi Jerome Epstein of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, the lay arm of the Conservative movement. Epstein said the group's committee on congregational standards is currently working on a "best practices" document.
Rabbi Steven Rosenberg of McAllen, Texas, formerly the leader of the Jewish Center of Bay Shore, said his Conservative congregation already has adopted such rules.
"If I have a bat mitzvah in my office, the door is never closed," said Rosenberg, who also tells his 23 religion school teachers "they are not allowed to touch students, not a pat, not a hug."
"It is very important for me for my congregants to know: That kind of behavior -- we will not tolerate it," said Rosenberg.
Rosenberg was sensitized by the case against Sidney Goldenberg, the former cantor, who had worked at the Bay Shore synagogue before moving to California.
Many rabbis say their groups would always notify police about abuse although their rules usually do not spell this out. Such notification was one of the remedies embraced by Roman Catholic bishops in the priest abuse scandal. And Reform rabbis are in the process of revising their ethics code to include such a requirement, according to Rabbi Paul Menitoff, executive vice president of the Central Conference of American Rabbis.
The National Conference of Synagogue Youth, an Orthodox group, does have a policy requiring that police be notified, an outgrowth of its scandal involving Lanner, a longtime youth leader with the group.
In that case, a religious court called a bet din concluded in 1989 that the most serious charges against Lanner were unfounded, clearing the way for his continued youth work. Last year, more than a dozen years later, he was convicted in New Jersey on abuse-related charges.
Orthodox Jews frequently rely on the batei din, but Blau, a member of the Lanner bet din, has become an outspoken critic of the religious court system.
For one thing, he said, judges in the religious courts often know the accused, making fair decisions difficult. In addition, he said that perjury before a bet din is rarely punished.
Appearing in February before dozens of students in the main study hall at Yeshiva University, Blau and the two other members of the Lanner bet din issued an extraordinary public apology for their role in allowing Lanner to continue unchecked for so many years.
"We must do everything in our power to protect potential victims from abuse," the apology said. "This includes reporting accusations of abuse to Jewish and, at times, to secular authorities."
Such a secular-reporting requirement is controversial among some Orthodox groups, partly because it appears to run counter to the doctrine called mesira.
In ancient times, one who violated the doctrine and reported a fellow Jew to secular authorities could be killed on sight. Today, the punishment is generally ostracism in the community.
The vast majority of rabbis agree that mesira is overridden when there is imminent danger to possible future victims, but Blau says the taboo remains, particularly among the most traditional Orthodox.
Civil authorities who seek to act against rabbinic abuse often become frustrated by the reluctance of witnesses to testify.
Prosecutors in Sullivan County complained during the case that their witnesses faced pressure when they tried to prosecute Yaakov Weiner, the teaching rabbi acquitted in the Mogen Avraham case.
"It was a bitter pill for me," remembers Tom Cawley, the former Sullivan County assistant district attorney who prosecuted the Mogen Avraham case. "They sent their kid to camp up here in Bethel and thought he'd be taken care of. Someone was taken care of, all right, but it wasn't him."
Weiner, who has taught in several yeshivas throughout the metropolitan area, consistently denied the charges. Attempts to reach him through one of his lawyers were unsuccessful.
The boy's mother and father, a rabbi himself, would not discuss the case with Newsday. But camp and State Health Department records filed in court indicate that the parents were not told of the alleged abuse until nearly 48 hours after the boy spoke of it, while the 36-year-old Weiner's father, a rabbi well-known in the Queens Orthodox community, was notified sooner.
Contacted recently, the camp's current executive director, Moshe Wein, defended the camp's handling of the accusation, saying, "There's no evidence to indicate that an incident took place." He added, "This may be one of those cases in which a child lied."
Lawyers for Weiner at his bench trial made much of contradictions in the boy's statements. But the most confusing testimony came from the alleged victim's bunkmates.
One of the boys reversed his story between the time he spoke to police and the trial several months later, Cawley said in court.
"We believe that there was pressure placed on the victim and children's families to get them not to testify," said Sullivan County District Attorney Stephen Lungen in a recent telephone interview. "There was a child who could have substantiated what was said, and that family would not cooperate."
The entire matter left Sullivan County Judge Frank Labuda confused.
"It is clear in the evening hours of August 8 and the morning of August 9, two years ago, something happened at bunk 3 Gimel bunk... " he said in his January 2000 ruling. But Labuda concluded that trial testimony "does not create a clear picture for this court of exactly what happened in Gimel bunk nor who did it."
He found Weiner not guilty.
(Top)
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posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Tuesday, March 21, 2006 | 38 comments
Monday, March 20, 2006
Lipa Margulies, keep you filthy hands off our precious torah, away from our gedolei yisroel and most importantly, away from our children!!!!!
A Reader Writes....
I'm pro the campaign to oust the molester but I wonder whether it is wise to turn this back into a referendum on Gedolei Yisroel. We need to stay focused on the mission to oust the molester and his protector. The anti-Gedolim tirades just give comfort to the pro-molester forces who take comfort - albeit stupidly - in the fact that their hats are blacker and bigger than ours.
If some Gedolei Yisroel intervened in the prior Bais Din, rather than get obsessed with personalities, we should look at the Halachic issues. There is a sound Halachic basis to accept the testimony of women and children when they are the only ones who are likely to have knowledge of the facts. Thats clearly the case here. That, incidentally is part of the Halachic basis for the seven Monsey Rabonim who signed against Rabbi Mordechai Tendler recently based almost solely on the testimony of women.
Thus, in the first instance, that Psak may simply have been erroneous and needs to be rectified the second time around. The second interesting point is that somebody must have solicited the intervention of Rav Scheinberg into a sitting Bais Din comprised of some oustanding talmeidei chachomin and poskim who clearly were capable of deciding the issue themselves. I would posit that that was none other than Kolko or Margulies or both. Anotherwords they actively sought to suppress the truth through a questionable psak rather than allow the Bais Din to proceed. That in itself speaks volumes about their true intentions.
In the latest incarnation of a Bais Din that Margulies agreed to go to a Bais Din comprised of Rabbis Kaminetzky and Levine. Margulies then did an about face and said hes not going until he gets a Psak from Rav Eliyashiv. Its literally identical to what he pulled with Rav Scheinberg. Manipulating and perverting our holy Torah for his nefarious ends. Rather than allow the truth to come out he once again tries to pervert the Halacha under the guise of "daas torah" to suppress the truth.
Lipa Margulies, keep your filthy hands off our precious torah, away from our gedolei yisroel and most importantly, away from our children!!!!!!
UOJ RESPONDS........
I think this IS the perfect time to define what is so loosely termed as Gedolei Yisroel. What does that mean? The guy with the biggest yeshiva? Can someone please define that term to me?
There was a "rabbi" that was hell bent in dismissing the previous bais din on a "technicality" and was able to convince a bais din that heard gut wrenching testimony from victims that their testimony was invalid according to halacha.
Now this behaima wears 80 pairs of tzizis and walks around all day in his Tefillin. Is this guy part of the Gedolei Yisroel? You know what, if he is, I want out of HIS religion.
What Gedolei Yisroel are we talking about exactly..the ones that will permit a Jewish Mafioso to keep his molester rebbe in a classroom?
As long as the "gedolim" do nothing...there are no gedolim only reshaim!
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Monday, March 20, 2006 | 26 comments
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Thousands Attend Anti-UOJ Rally in Brooklyn
By-Hear O' Israel Teen-Aged Staff, Lipa Mar-Rotzeach & featured children specialist Yudi Kronkite
Thousands took part in an anti-UOJ rally for The Molester Chassidim held on Ocean Parkway at the Margo Coverup Hall on Motzei Shabbos parshas Tetzaveh.
The Admor of Molest, Lipa Marfioso "Hakoton", was present when gabbai Gedalia Gofer, speaking for the Admor announced, "With the elections for biggest reshaim approaching, there is an obligation on all to vote for the "Zipper Kadima" list. You are also asked to help influence others to vote Zipper Kadima and may all be blessed with success." He called on the audience to set all other silly considerations aside and to heed the gedolei Abuse And Molest and the entire Coverup mishpocha shlita unreservedly.
Yaakov Applegrad, third on the UOJ list of menuvalim, opened "youknowwhat" without shame and led the pervert gathering. He said gedolei Molest referred to the coming lawsuit as a yom din ledoros. On this day of judgment, he said, we must assess what we have gone through, how many kids we ruined for life, and that matters of harboring vicious molesters are the top of the list of displaying kevod Shomayim. "We must know that with every Zipper Kadima ballot slip we declare Mi leHashem eilai. Gedolei Yisroel, including the Moetzes, taught us that every vote for Zipper Kadima is a kiddush Hashem, no matter how many children are destroyed for life."
HaRav Alter Farshimelt Shmeckle, one of the roshei yeshivas of Yeshivas Chiddushei NAMBLA, said the gathering was organized to fulfill ve'osiso kechol asher yorucho. "Some people mistakenly believe the matter of Zipper protection relates to a few askonim, but not to a man busy with the education and raising of his children.
We used to be at peace, believing this was just propaganda and the decrees would not be carried out. The past months have proven the era of idle threats has come to an end. Woe are we if they continue with just a portion of their plans.
UOJ made a surprise appearance. He was able to grab the microphone away from Rav Alter Farshimelt Shmeckle and questioned the crowd; who are the ones standing guard to protect these ***holes??? UOJ stared down at Shea Fishman and Dovid Zweibel and said in unison with his supporters "none other than the representatives of the Moetzes and Torah U'Mesorah." Singing and dancing broke out to celebrate the announcement that the Agudah planned to have not one, but two conventions a year.
At the end of the rally sign-up forms to volunteer for cover-up activities were handed out.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Saturday, March 18, 2006 | 78 comments
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
The Gedolim Made Me Do It!
An Important Reader Writes......
On Septpember 24, 2003, Torah U'Mesorah, The National Society for Hebrew Day Schools, the umbrella organization for more than 700 yeshivas and day schools in the United States and Canada, that teach Torah and general studies to more than 200,000 Jewish children, sent out a confidential 3-page document regarding child sex abuse to all of their member schools. Relevant excerpts appear below:
"At recent meetings of the Rabbinical Board of Torah Umesorah, attended by Rav Dovid Feinstein, Rav Yitzchok Feigelstock, Rav Aharon Feldman, Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky, Rav Aryeh Malkiel Kotler, Rav Avrohom Chaim Levin, Rav Yaakov Perlow and Rav Aaron Schechter, shlita, the following statement concerning a painful issue was issued:
We address ourselves to the problem of child molestation in our community. A small number of individuals have caused untold pain to many children, primarily varying in age from three to fourteen. In addition to the sins which they have committed, they have created painful memories in the minds of their victims, memories which can have a devastating lifetime impact.
It is incumbent upon everyone to use every means to stop these violations of children, including, at times, exposing the identities of the abusers and even their incarceration....."
Rabbi Elyashiv Comments.....
A ruling by Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv appears in Yeshurun, a compendium of articles on Halacha, in which the rabbi says it is permissible, in certain cases, to hand over a child abuser to the American police. Elyashiv, considered the most important interpreter of Halacha by Ashkenazi Haredim, said that it was permitted to inform the government in cases in which, "It is clear that he has committed a foul deed, and that this [informing] constitutes a sort of repair of the world." Elyashiv adds another condition, according to which the situation must be that, "Someone is abusing a boy or girl such that we are unable to stop him from continuing his evil actions."
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, March 15, 2006 | 53 comments
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
The Saddest, Most Truthful Purim Shpiel Ever
A reader posts a Purim shpiel....
Dr. Budapesht mit offices in Villiamsbooger, Fletboosha, and boor park.
Telephone...1-800-MESHUGA.
We are pleased to report that through our intelligence sources, chaver Deep Nose, we have obtained a secretly recorded transcript of a recent visit by Lipa to his therapist – yes I said therapist – who is none other than the world renowned Hungarian genius, the venerable Dr. Budapesht. (Besht for short)
We are sharing it with our supporters who, in light of Lipa’s self-destructive behavior have become deeply concerned about his mental health. Some even fear he may have to be institutionalized in the dreaded Institute for the Talmudically Insane, where the hopelessly krume kep and farshvollene nuz are put out to pasture. Recently, there have been sensationalist reports by an anonymous pashkivil that blood curdling cries of all kinds of krumme svoris and upgefrekte shtiklach Toirah can be heard throughout the night at the Institute. We strongly suggest that you completely disregard anything reported in an anonymous pashkivil not signed by the Vaad Harabanim of Kupas Haair unless it has nice pictures and credit card forms, which of course changes everything.
Lipa: Doctor you have to help me. Lately I haven’t been sleeping. I have this recurring nightmare of the Jewish world's biggest blogger eating up the Yeshiva. What can this mean?
Dr. Budapesht: What’s this I hear about you harboring a child molester Yudi Kolko?
Lipa: Nu, so what’s the big deal?
Dr. Budapesht: Big deal? Are you nuts? Are you out of your mind? Don’t you realize this will bring down your whole yeshiva!!!
Lipa: Am I nuts? That’s what you’re supposed to tell me. That’s why I pay you the big bucks.
Dr. Budapesht: Lipa. You are absolutely, certifiably insane. Only a complete meshugeneh would a keep such a monster in his yeshiva.
Lipa: Now I can relax since you have diagnosed me. At least I’m getting my money’s worth. But Doctor Besht please stop making up bullshit stories for a second and look at it from my point of view. I’m running a business here. If I admit that I’ve been harboring a child molester, what would that do the reputation of my boobeleh, Yeshiva Torah Temimah? Do you realize we are more successful than any Yeshiva in the world? Our talmidim are considered the best and the brightest. We send more talmidim to Brisk who go on to do rich and chushive shidduchim and become rosh yeshiva’s and ramim than any other yeshiva. We are the elite, the crème de le crème. The Harvard and Yale of the yeshiva world in one package.
Dr. Budapesht: Are you done you putz?
Lipa: Are you kidding? I just got started you still don’t understand doctor. I am personally responsible for all this excellence. Me. No one else. It’s all mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. My building. My talmidim. My Yeshiva. My Kuvid. My reputation. My Chashivoos. That’s what’s on the line here. If it gets out that I’ve been harboring a molester for all these years, no one will even touch me with my own one inch pole, not even Mohel Yitzchok Fisher. I’m finished. Finito. Nada. Zilcho. All the chashoovim who used to chanfe me (kiss my fat ass) will now shake their heads at me with disapproving looks and say loudly “ah shanda”. Even worse, much worse, people will pity me and give me this sorry look and say things like. “Nebbbbaach”. I couldn’t handle that. That would destroy me completely. I need to be on top, ask the rebbetzin...oh, I forgot..any rebbetzin... The King. Melech HaMargolis Loilum Vued. Do you really think I care if a few hundred kids got tzsbushivit (poked in the ass) by this guy? They’ll get over it. That’s a very small price to pay for my success and accomplishments. Yechi Hamelech.
Dr. Budapesht: I’m afraid the situation is very serious.
Lipa: Aha! So you do understand. Finally. Only a Hungarian genius like you could understand a man as deep and complex as me and my pockets. It’s all very rational. It’s to all to save my hide, which of course makes it OK.
Dr. Budapesht: No. You completely misunderstood what I was saying. Your situation is serious. You are a narcissistic, psychotic, megalomaniac, screwed up sonafobitch suffering from severe delusional dementia. I’m afraid we’re going to have to commit you immediately. Willy, take him away.
Lipa: No please wait. Listen to me. I’m not crazy. Rabbi Applegrad will vouch for me. He tells me we have nothing to be afraid of. Why should we be afraid? We are the establishment. We are in the right. I am personally responsible for telling the world it's within the boundaries of halacha to keep a sexual predator in a yeshiva around little children. I know for a fact he did not molest anyone for the last five minutes...make it three. The statute of limitations for a man like me is thirty seconds, so I beat it by two and a half minutes. I spoke to Maran Ayatollah Eliyashiv..he said to be machmir; to make certain that at least for a full minute Kolko doesn't do the "poke a kid shtick"..except on Purim where we give him five minutes. So there you have it...the psak on the statute of limitations in halacha. You know why???....because we as frum Yiden must assume that Kolko does tshuva after each poke.
Getting back to me, I am the Rosh Yeshiva, Maran Shlita, Gaon Olam..even the Yated said so. If I say its OK then it is OK by definition. Don’t you understand Doctor?
Loud Noise: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Kaboom UUUUUUUU BOOOOm.
Lipa: What’s that noise? What’s going on? Why did it suddenly stop?
Dr. Budapesht: That’s the Krooma Svura alarm. I’m afraid you broke it. Kaput. After holding up for 30 years of krooma Toirah you broke it. One second. Willy, bring me the Krumometer right now. I don’t believe it. 10.5 on the Lukshin Scale. I must show this to the residents. Igor,Yunshee, Pishta, Tibor, come here right now. This will be a breakthrough article in the New Chandelier Journal of Magyarism. Igor get your hand off his wallet! You want the IRS after you? Oh look at that. What a shtik krumkeit. In all my years never have I seen such brilliant krumkeit. Truly remarkable.
Lipa: It’s like I was telling you, everything at Toirah Temimah is number one. Even our krooma svuris are exceptionally krum.
Dr. Besht: Lipa. I have no choice. I must commit you immediately or you must make up at least one hundred miracle bullshit stories about me. Krumkeit on this level is not only contagious it can be fatal. It’s even worse than the Kirahouser Rebbe Cold Storage Flu.
Lipa: Wait, you don’t understand my pain. The booshes, the bizyoines. This blogger and his letter. I’ve become a laughingstock. I’m the one being molested here. Can’t you see? Even Rabbi Applegrad, who’s usually as smooth and slick as a Brisker flipping latkes, is avoiding me. I deserve sympathy. Look what’s happening to my melucha. Hey look outside the window. See that Brisker. He’s being mevatel me. Oy gevalt. It’s starting. Please doctor you must do something.
Dr. Besht: Willy. Take him away right now. Please make sure your wearing protective gear. This stuff is so strong you’ll be walking and talking backwards before you can count to three. I got to get back to my "fullofshit" stories about myself, Nosson Scherman is running out of material for his Gedolim series.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Tuesday, March 14, 2006 | 16 comments
Saturday, March 11, 2006
"We Toil And They Toil ....We Toil To Save Our Children From Abuse And Receive Rewards...And They Toil And Receive No Rewards"....
A Reader Writes The Yated Ne'eman....
Dear Yated Editor,
I address this to the parents of the children who are caught up in the problem with gedolim cards.
Dear suffering parents,
Remember your goals, which are to raise kinderlach al derech haTorah. The photographers and marketers of these cards do not share your goals. They are in it to make money, which is why these cards are printed, attractively packaged, and sold with the plan to withhold certain cards, which in turn, ensures more sales - and not necessarily more ahavas haTorah.
Please understand that any leader in any field (social, community, business, religious, etc.) has become a leader because he/she thinks “outside of the box.” This means that the person has unusual thinking patterns, which sometimes (not always) results in unusual success.
Abusers also think “outside of the box.” This is what sustains their positions as leaders, even in the face of acute distress of those that they are taking advantage of. Their trick is to “out-think” the person or people that they are trying to manipulate. The trick to getting out from under a problem, is to out-think even those who think outside of the box by thinking outside of the box yourself.
Firstly, hang on to your goal of raising good, frum, emesdike kinderlach. While you keep that goal in mind, whatever you come up with must be different than what you have been doing until now, since the same type of thinking that got you into the problem is not going to get you out of it! So change how you approach the ideal of raising your child. Think of new ways to do it.
Here is one “outside of the box” solution. Call up Torah Umesorah, Artscroll, the Agudah, and your local Hebrew Library - whatever - and get any article, essay, etc. that has a photo of your child’s “missing” gadol. Get a copy of it and present it to your son. Do they need a face from the actual set? No, they need the missing face, because the goal is to see the faces of our great leaders. Get any photo. If they are sorry about this paltry replacement (because they want it to match the set), remind them what the overall goal is, and how it can be accomplished in more ways than one.
Alternatively, get a list of the gedolim, and collect your own photos from numerous sources! I myself have a “Tzaddik Album” at home where I paste in whatever nice photos of gedolim come along. This hobby has no parameters. It just unfolds with time and is kept among the family albums.
Remember that people who abuse the system get away with their behaviors because they confuse and frustrate the rest of the world who walk on more common ground. In order to stop them, it will not help to “speak to the hanhala” or take any normal, common action. Normal, common actions is what makes abusers laugh. They expect “normal” and base their game-plan on the well-meaning, generally innocent masses.
To get back control of your own children you, too, must think outside of the box. Take your sanity, pocketbook and child back from the grips of a phenomenon that has simply gotten out of control.
UOJ Comments,
Thanks Pinky, I could not have said it better myself!
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Saturday, March 11, 2006 | 41 comments
Friday, March 10, 2006
New York Magazine Investigatve Reporter Seeking Sexual Abuse Survivors In The Orthodox Jewish Community
Hello,
My name is Bob Kolker, and I am a writer for New York magazine.
I am writing an investigative story about sexual abuse in
New York's Orthodox Jewish community, and I am writing this message in hopes of reaching out to members of The Awareness Center who are based in New York.
I have been very impressed by the work that the Awareness Center has
done, and Vicki Polin has been kind enough to allow me to reach out to
survivors who make use of The Awareness Center's website.
Specifically, I am hoping to interview survivors and tell their stories.
I understand that being interviewed might be a painful and difficult
thing to ask. But I have learned from interviews with experts how the
reporting of abuse is sketchy and perhaps even frowned upon
in certain parts of the Orthodox Jewish community.
The very difficult challenge I have ahead of me with
this story is to find the most accurate and sensitive way
to describe the difficulties suvivors have had in reporting
their abuse and getting the help they need.
The best way to describe this to readers,I feel,
is to interview survivors personally and learn what they went through.
The obvious goal of this story is to try to prevent future victims of
abuse from having the same problems.
I hope that this story, as a work of advocacy journalism,
can help raise awareness and sensitivity to this issue and
to work toward the removal of a stigma for people
who have been abused -- much as the Awareness Center has.
But for equally obvious reasons, I'm dedicated to being sensitive
toward my interviewees for this story.
Of course, I am more than willing to protect your anonymity
and to work with you on exactly how you would like your story to be presented.
My only requirement is that I must interview people from the New York area.
A brief word about me: I have been a writer for New York magazine for
seven years. I write mainly about public policy and criminal justice.
My past stories include an investigation of airport safety and a close look at
New York's public education.
Once again, I hope this isn't too much of an intrusion, but with your
help I am hoping to raise awareness and sensitivity to this issue. You can
call me any time at 212-508-0811, or email me at robert_kolker@newyorkmag.com
Many thanks for your assistance,
Bob Kolker
Robert Kolker
Contributing Editor
New York Magazine
444 Madison Ave.
New York, NY 10022
office: 212-508-0811
mobile: 917-743-9843
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Friday, March 10, 2006 | 12 comments
Questions to Ask Yourself Before Disclosing That You Are A Victim Of Sexual Abuse
Questions to Ask Yourself Before Disclosing, Confronting or Going Public
Reprinted by Permission © 1992, Shauna Green
Survivors of various forms of abuse often want to disclose their experiences, confront their perpetrators, and/or speak-out about their abuse, in an attempt to try to help educate the public. Often the urge to share personal information about one self occurs during various stages of healing. From personal experience and talking to other Adult Survivors of childhood abuse, it is suggested that you consider the many questions listed in this article. You may also want to refer to "The Courage to Heal" ( by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass) and "The Courage to Heal Workbook" (by Laura Davis).
Unfortunately, the reality is that our society is NOT very accepting and/or understanding to the various issues of Adult Survivors of abuse, especially of Spritual Abuse and or Sadistic Ritual Abuse (SRA). The majority of the survivors I have spoken to, who have confronted individuals, and/or have gone public -- shared that they had negative experiences after they have shared their abuse histories with others. These survivors have all been met with disbelief and have been considered to be crazy, hysterical and/or delusional. Too often when individuals state that they are Adult Survivor's (of incest, cults and/or other forms of ritual abuse), they find that they automatically lose credibility.
We, as survivors can not be responsible for the reactions of others. What we can do is take control of our actions and be prepared for the outcome if we as an individual decide to share out histories with others. It is also important to be aware and accept, that the a vast number of adult survivors of sadistic abuse will not find it to be beneficial to confront, disclose and/or go public. It is vital for each individual to decide for themself, and be sure that they are not being pressured to make any decisions. This is a reminder that once you share information about yourself, you can NOT take it back.
If you thinking about going public, it is important to consider how you are going to do it.
Are you going to use your real name or a pseudonym?
Will you wear a disguise of some sort?
Will you be paid? How much?
If you are going on television will the producer of the show agree in writing to use a computer and distort both your voice and face (this is strongly suggested for the beginner)?
Will you have to sign a contract or an agreement? What will it say? It is strongly suggested you read the agreement BEFORE the day you are supposed to speak-out!
Will your attempt to educate the public cause harm to your credibility? Are you allowing yourself to be exploited?
Will it hurt you in your present or future career, social life, family life (including your spouse and children)?
The Following are some questions you can ask yourself to help you make up your mind if disclosing, confronting and/or going public is right for you.
Directions: Answer the following questions on a separate piece of paper. Think about the following questions and your answers. Share your responses with at least one trusted support person. Ask for Feedback! BEFORE you disclose and/or confront someone.
Whom do I want to tell? Why?
Is someone or something internally/externally pressuring me to disclose my abuse history or confront my perpetrator(s)? Who and/or What is pressuring me?
If my plans includes going public, what are my motives? (It's suggested you consider all of the following questions before speaking in any public forum).
What do I hope to gain from this disclosure and/or confrontation? What could I loose by this disclosure and/or confrontation? Are my expectations realistic?
Have I thought about safety issues? What are they for me?
What are my motives for confronting my perpetrators? Do I have to be concerned about my safety?
Am I confronting my perpetrator(s) to gain information? Can anyone else supply me with the information I desire?
Would I be risking something I still want from my family (i.e. financial and/or emotional support, inheritance, employment in family business, other)?
Could I live with the possibility of being excluded from family gatherings (i.e. Holidays, Weddings, Deaths in my family. . .)? What would that mean to me? How would I deal with the loss?
Am I willing to take the risk of losing contact with other family members with whom I want to stay connected? What would that mean? Would I deal with the loss?
Am I grounded and stable enough to risk being called crazy?
Could I maintain my own reality in the face of denial?
Can I withstand the anger that I am likely to face from others?
Could I handle my own anger and/or other feelings? How would I do that?
Could I handle no reaction at all?
Do I have a solid enough support system to back me up before, during and after the confrontation?
Which support people agreed to be available before, during, and after?
Can I realistically imagine both the worst and best outcomes that might result? Could I live with either one?
How have I prepared myself for the Confrontation and/or disclosure?
Other issues I've considered regarding confronting or disclosing my abuse to others.
Remember: It is important that you focus on yourself and your own personal needs before deciding to go disclose, confront and/or go public. This is also true before, during and after any confrontation. Try to remember what you want or need to say (for your own personal needs and not anyone else's), how you want to handle the situation, rather than on any response you may hope to get. Plan to process the confrontation and/or disclosure with your therapist and/or trusted support person(s). Remember, this can be an ongoing task (and that's ok).
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Friday, March 10, 2006 | 1 comments
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
The Haman Of Our Times
Vayehi Beyimei Margulies V’Kolko
This post is to update the public on the goings on since I mailed the letter so many of you received.
Members of my group have been in touch with Margulies and Kolko. As I predicted to them, every agreement reached with Margulies was shortly thereafter breached by him.
As I’ve been telling my friends,
“you can’t teach an alter mamzer new tricks.”
Most recently, at the behest of a prominent asken and Yeshiva Torah Temimah parent, Margulies proposed a panel of three to hear the charges and evidence against Kolko. We immediately agreed. Sound like progress? With anyone other than Margulies I’d be dancing for joy. With Margulies I knew it was only a matter of time before he backed out of this latest agreement.
Guess what my friends, I was right again!
The latest ploy by Margulies and Kolko involves Margulies shopping around for a reason not to go to his own bais din. That’s right, this human tinaf poorly disguised as the “Rosh Yeshiva” is looking for ways to avoid bais din in order to keep a molester in Yeshiva Torah Temima!
The depths of Margulies depravity is beginning to surprise even me.
We have irrefutable proof that Yudi Kolko is a chronic and violent child molester. So does Margulies! Every day that goes by produces more horrific stories of Kolko violently abusing children. Yet, Margulies refuses to fire this sick violent child molester.
Is this the man we want running a Yeshiva with a thousand children?
My brothers and sisters, whether you like me or hate me, agree with my ravings on other topics or are furious at me for expressing myself as I have, you all agree with me that a child molester does not belong in the classroom.
I’ve been patient. I’ve been relatively quiet. I’m out of patience.
If Margulies and Kolko do not appear before bais din immediately I will release the other vicious "dogs" on them and Yeshiva Torah Temimah. This is a promise. As you all know, I deliver on my promises.
I want the world to know that I gave Margulies and Kolko every chance possible to prevent this next move. They can still stop me. All they have to do is go straight to bais din, don’t stop at go, don’t collect $200, just go straight to Bais Din. NOW!
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, March 08, 2006 | 56 comments
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Auschwitz, Sexual Abuse And Rabbis
A Reader Comments
"Herskovic died Friday at his Encino home after a lengthy battle with cancer, said his daughter, Patricia Herskovic.
Three months after being sent from Belgium to Auschwitz, Herskovic escaped by cutting through a chain-link fence with two other prisoners using a pair of wire cutters he had hidden. It was the first night of Hanukkah in 1942.
The three hopped a train to Breslau, Germany, but a local rabbi threw them out when they tried to tell him about the horrors at Auschwitz."
People dont realize.... throughout jewish history rabbis denied and did not address many important issues as they happened. Rabbonim (for the most part i hope) are learned people, that know how to deal with pure halacha and jewish matters.
War, sexual abuse, drugs and many other world issues are out of many rabbonims' league and they just dont have the tools to deal with. It usually takes years and years for the "leaders" in that sense, to catch up to the times. Drug use is a good example, I think they are finally catching up, but sexual abuse unfortunately is taking a longer time. I hope sooner rather than later people and leaders will stop being this blind and deal with these issues in an appropriate manner. If they would only look back at their own history... and learn from the mistakes of the past.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Tuesday, March 07, 2006 | 16 comments
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Case of Rabbi Yudi Kolko - Yeshiva Torah Temimah
http://www.theawarenesscenter.org/Kolko_Yudi.html
Case of Rabbi Yudi Kolko - Yeshiva Torah Temimah
Flatbush (New York), NY
My name is Jeffrey Herman and I am an attorney who represents victims of sexual abuse who were abused by Yudi Kolko. I am currently investigating these claims.
If anyone has information about this case, please contact me via email at jherman@hermanlaw.com or via telephone at (305) 931-2200.
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Email Groups for the Awareness Center This link will bring you to a list of different mailing lists offered by The Awareness Center. We offers several different email groups,which include our general mailing list, press-releases, Jewish survivors of childhood sexual abuse, Parents of children who were molested, Family members of sex offenders, etc.
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Disclaimer: Inclusion in this website does not constitute a recommendation or endorsement. Individuals must decide for themselves if the resources meet their own personal needs.
Table of Contents:
Request from attorney Jeffrey Herman (02/18/2006)
A Survivor Speaks Out (02/01/2006)
A Survivors Story (02/16/2006)
Also see:
Rabbis, Cantors and Other Trusted Officials
Offenders: Problems Our Parents Wouldn't Speak Of
Recidivism of Sex Offenders (U.S. Department of Justice: Center for Sex Offender Management)
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Request from attorney Jeffrey Herman
Unorthodox Jews Blog - Saturday, February 18, 2006
http://unorthodoxjews.blogspot.com/2006_02_01_unorthodoxjews_archive.html
My name is Jeffrey Herman and I am an attorney who represents victims of sexual abuse who were abused by Yudi Kolko. I am currently investigating these claims.
If anyone has information about this case, please contact me via email at jherman@hermanlaw.com or via telephone at (305) 931-2200.
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A Survivor Speaks Out
By (Name Removed)
Unorthodox Jew - February 1, 2006
http://unorthodoxjews.blogspot.com/2006_02_01_unorthodoxjews_archive.html
"I too was molested by Rabbi Yidi Kolko, both while a student in 7th and 8th grades in Yeshiva Torah V'daas and during those same summers whilst a camper in Camp Agudah.
I used to get rides to school in the mornings with Yidi whether in his old blue car or in his brand new brown car. At that time he lived on 56th Street between 14th & 15th Avenue, whilst I lived on 57th Street, between 15th and 16th Avenues. He was newly married at that time and his first child, a daughter, was also just born then.
Once we got to the Yeshiva on Ocean Parkway, which then was just off of Caton Road, he would park the car (either down the block from the Yeshiva, on the Ocean Parkway service road, or around the corner, I think it was East 5th Street, and ask me to come over and either sit beside him or sit on his lap. Sometimes he would move over to the passenger seat and would then sit me on his lap.
That's when he went fishing. He would insert his hands down the front of my pants and would begin to "search around" to say the least. At the same time he would pull me closer to himself, or would push himself forward againt myself, sometimes even pushing me into the stearing wheel, to the point that it hurt.
Unfortunately I didn't react or complain. The winters were cold and these rides saved on not having to walk all the way to 13th Avenue to wait for the bus (especially on Sunday mornings), you were able to leave your house later since you could always make the ride, and you saved a couple of cents, which was a lot in those days.
During one of those Sunday mornings whilst we were driving on Caton Avenue, whilst I was sitting in the front passenger seat - I almost always sat in the front passenger seat - we were involved in a terrible traffic accident where a car went through a red light and slammed into Yidi's car. B"H we all got out without a scratch.
In Camp Aguda it was the same, whether if he took me into the trees, or into his cabin, or even would take me out for a drive. FYI, during the summer of 1970 I had my bar mitzva in the camp.
I of course told my parents and tried on several times
to explain to them what I was going through, but they didn't want to believe me and my "stories", etc. My father at that time was a very well known and respected person in the Boro Park & Midwood communities and within the Yeshiva world. So I just shut up and let the molestation and perversion continue.
I also think that Yidi Kolko is a danger to the students, past and present in Yeshiva Tora Temimah and I feel that it is about time that the wall of silence be torn down.
Did I suffer as a result, probably. But I have made a life for myself and today am very happily married with 4 wonderful children".
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A Survivors Story
By (Name Removed)
Unorthodox Jew - Thursday, February 16, 2006
"It is time for Yidi Kolko to pay the price for what he did to me and to others".
I Am (Name Removed)
I have spent the past few days reading all of the comments that have been posted to this blog and would like to comment.
It was not easy for me to finally open up and put in writing and post on this blog some of the things that Yidi Kolko did to me so many years ago at Yeshiva Torah Vodaas of Flatbush and at camp Agudah.
Yes, I've been carrying it for all of these years and no matter how hard I tried to forget about it, it always seems to be there. Always there. And with every case of child abuse or molestation that gets publicized, it's always there. Even today, even when I'm happily married with 4 wonderful children.
I recommend that each one of you look at your sons, or brothers and ask: can they possibly be a victim of sexual molestation by a rebbe, a teacher, a camp counselor, etc?
And if he/they were, would he be strong enough to tell you about it?
And then the question I ask is: Would you at all believe him?
For you would ask: how could it be that such an outstanding rebbe, teacher, counselor, etc., who everyone loves and raves about, how could he do something like this?
And your immediate response would automatically be: No, my son, for some reason, isn't telling the truth, he must be lying...
As I said before, I've lived with this for a very long time and it is time for Yidi Kolko to pay the price for what he did to me and to others.
What this price is I'll let others decide.
They say that time has a way of healing - from my own experience, it doesn't ever go away.
In order to survive and remain normal, one must be strong... and always and continuously believe in Hashem.
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We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes.
For more information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml . If you wish to use copyrighted material from this update for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.
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Last Updated: 02/18/2006
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"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
--Margaret Mead (Top)
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, March 01, 2006 | 116 comments
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
UOJ RESPONDS TO THE JEWISH PRESS
Dear Rabbi Klass and the Jewish Press editorial board,
I am truly sorry about mailing out thousands of letters to the New York Jewish community. You see Rabbi Klass, what I'm sorry about has nothing to do with your editorial. I'm sorry that our community has let all of us down, including you and your paper. There was no need to do a mass mailing, in fact I pleaded with Lipa Margulies to "consider" putting Yudi Kolko on paid leave, pending the outcome of a hearing at a mutually agreed upon bais din.
I sent emissaries to him weeks before the mailing asking him to "consider" putting Kolko on leave. He denied ever hearing about Kolko being a problem around children and therefore was not only not going to put him on leave, but that he was going to defend him if it ever came to bais din, which he said would never happen. He is a pathetic liar and a very evil man.
I e-mailed you the letter that I intended to mail out to the community two weeks before the mailing took place asking you to investigate. What happened R' Yaakov,why did you not call Lipa Margulies and ask him what's going on? Were you also of the belief that one day I woke up with nothing really important to do, so I just picked up the phone book and picked out a name and started ranting about the danger Yudi Kolko poses around children?
R' Yaakov, you could have been a contender!!!
Your paper could have investigated and seen that an esteemed frum attorney, Elliot B. Pasik put his name on this campaign. No, not endorsing my opinions or beliefs, but endorsing my efforts to get rid of Yudi Kolko from the classroom!
Instead you busied yourself with the "eat until you die" Pesach ads. I ask you why have you ignored this issue? Is there no more important issue to Klal Yisroel than the safety of our children? Do you really think any reputable attorney would "impose" on Klal Yisroel such a "mundane" issue as safety from sexual predators without a thorough investigation?
Why did you not call Elliot Pasik Esq? Why did you not call Jeffrey Herman Esq? Do you think that these respected attorneys would take a case of this magnitude if they thought for a brief second that these were false claims? Or is it easier to just ramble on about the issue of an anonymous mailing? I challenge you to investigate these claims; I challenge you to call Lipa Margulies and demand that he sign a sworn affidavit under penalty of perjury that he was not aware of any of these accusations.
I'm going to say it again...really clear for the entire frum world to hear, to digest, and to help you rise up out of your slumber...Lipa Margulies is harboring a pedophile knowingly and willingly for thirty plus years, he was informed and knew without a shadow of a doubt for thirty very long years and countless victims later that Kolko is a dangerous predator; and Yudi Kolko is Ill, he needs help immediately and must be removed from any environment that children find themselves in.
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Tuesday, February 28, 2006 | 47 comments
Monday, February 27, 2006
Two Victims Of Kolko/Margulies/Yeshiva Torah Temimah Respond To The Jewish Press And The Mindless Garble FROM the Jewish Press
Victim Number One
The real problem with the Jewish Press editorial is its blatant hypocrisy. For two years now the Jewish Press has been running a massive campaign on behalf of Rabbi Mordechai Tendler to undo his expulsion from the RCA. That campaign included news articles as well as editorials. The thrust of the campaign is that Rabbi Tendler did not receive due process from the RCA. The Jewish Press particularly gave a lot of publicity to a Psak from a Jerusalem Beth Din which demanded that the expulsion issue be brought before a Beth Din. The Jewish Press through its publicity campaign, brought tremendous pressure to bear on the RCA to comply with that Psak as the RCA seemed more inclined to ignore it. That pressure included veiled threats of Siruv and the suggestion that failure to comply would call into question the validity of the RCA’s own Beth Din, The Beth Din of America. Primarily as a result of those efforts it now appears that indeed the RCA is participating in a Beth Din process.
It must be pointed out, that each and every one of the editorials in favor of Rabbi Tendler and pressuring the RCA was anonymous. Never once did any member of the editorial board dare identify him or herself. Obviously, this was done to avail themselves of the protective shield that anonymity provides. Especially, when going up against a powerful and influential organization such as the RCA.
Moreover, Jewish newspapers traditionally reported the news. Nowhere, in the laws pertaining to Beth Din is there any role defined for a Jewish newspaper to come in unasked and act as an enforcement arm of Beth Din, and pressure people to abide by Jewish Law or to force recalcitrant litigants to come to Beth Din. This is an unprecedented role that the Jewish Press has created for itself in the Tendler matter where it has inserted itself into a judicial process that, in the first instance, was way beyond its calling and jurisdiction.
To put it more succinctly, the Jewish Press’ role in the Tendler matter was nothing more than one big anonymous pashkivil to correct an injustice - giving Rabbi Tendler due process - that it believed was worthy of its time and attention.
In truth, notwithstanding the unprecedented nature of the actions by the Jewish Press, we don’t disagree with the Jewish Press’ methods of using their anonymous pashkivil to get justice where nothing else will work.
The instant anonymous pashkivil seeks similar relief. Due process for the victims of a known child molester who has to date avoided justice. The use of different media, mass mailing and a website, are hardly the point. The principle, the use of an anonymous pashkivil as a last resort to bring about justice when members of our community evade our Beth Din system, is an effective one as ably demonstrated by the Jewish Press.
What really seems to be bothering the Jewish Press is that with the emergence of alternative media they are losing their ability to control the procedure and agenda of the anonymous pashkivil. In and of itself that is understandable. What is more disturbing, however, is the Jewish Press’ apparent willingness to turn a blind eye to an explosive issue that has rocked the Frum community to its core only because it didn’t come off their desks.
Victim Number Two
To the Editor from a victim of Yeshiva Torah Temimah aka Lipa Margulies/Yudi Kolko
How can anyone disagree with the eloquent and logical position taken by the Editorial Board of The Jewish Press as it weighs in on the evils of anonymous slander sheets?
Unless, the true “cancer” is not the “Pashkevil” but rather the issue addressed in said mailing. Namely, the over three decades of see no evil practiced by our Rabonim when faced with countless complaints of children being molested by this one Rebbi.
Did the Editorial Board bother to investigate this matter before attacking the accuser?
Apparently not.
Anyone willing to do so much as an iota of research will learn of numerous charges having been levied against this Rebbi. Only a little more work will net victims speaking of their experiences with this man. You take the liberty of vaguely referring to the “lurid accusations of improper conduct” contained in the letter as being unsubstantiated and proclaim it to be “incumbent upon each of us to resolve to give no credence to unproven charges.” Are you including the many victims of this man in your pronouncement? Do you suggest that they too urge the charges be “discredited on a community-wide basis”?
To date no one was willing to stand up to this man’s boss until an anonymous blogger took up the cause. Where were our organizations all these years? Why did it take the fear of exposure to the secular media to propel them into action and break over thirty years silence and inactivity? Why were the Jewish souls living daily with the pain of their mistreatment at the hands of this man not enough to compel action?
I respectfully submit the “cancer growing in our midst” is the child molesting and the protecting of the perpetrator. The “Pashkevil” was the equivalent of Chemotherapy, painful and damaging but curative.
In closing, I speak with conviction because I am a victim of this man. I have contacted Elliot Pasik, Esq. (efpasik@aol.com) and have volunteered to testify under oath in any legitimate fact finding body convened for the purpose of keeping this molester away from children. I urge everyone else molested by this man to do the same.
Name Withheld
Brooklyn, New York
Jewish Press Letters wrote:
The issue here is not the guilt or innocence of an individual, but the practice of leveling accusations in a public and anonymous manner. Certainly you don't mean to imply that The Jewish Press, which has actually lost some readers because of our coverage of domestic and other types of abuse, is guilty of covering up or ignoring the problem? Maybe you're thinking of Yated and Hamodia.
From: REDACTED
To: letters@jewishpress.com
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006
Subject: Re: Child Molester
I was not accusing the Jewish Press of anything. I am writing a letter to the Editor in response to an Editorial you chose to write. Your Editorial ignores the issue addressed in the "Pashkevil" yet addresses the medium.
I assume from your defensive response that you will not be publishing my letter. I find that to be unfortunate. This issue is newsworthy and affects the community far more than the issue of "Pashkevils" you chose to address.
No I'm not thinking of Yated or Hamodia. I wrote to you, not them. Will you do anything about this horrific issue?
Jewish Press Letters wrote:
We don't run anonymous letters. I'm not saying we'd run it even if your name were on it, but without a verifiable name it definitely won't be considered. Nothing personal.
Thanks for your input.
From: REDACTED
To: Jewish Press Letters
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006
Subject: Re: Child Molester
Question: Was not your "Editorial" anonymous? If so, please be so good as to explain the difference between your Editorial and the "Pashkevi" you criticize so vociferously.
Also, please explain the value system you ascribe to, which calls forth self-righteous indignation over an anonymous letter yet allows you to remain silent over a chronic child molester teaching in one of our yeshivas.
Thank you for your earlier responses, I look forward to hearing from you.
Jewish Press Letters wrote:
Aren't all newspaper editorials "anonymous?" Do you know who writes New York Times editorials? You're really too intelligent to resort to that argument. An editorial in The Jewish Press 9or any publication) isn't anonymous for the simple reason that it has the newspaper's imprimatur on and behind it. Agree with a particular editorial or not, you know it's the corporate entity known as The Jewish Press that disseminated it.
From: REDACTED
To: Jewish Press Letters
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006
Subject: Re: Child Molester
New York Times:
Arthur Ochs Sulzberger Jr., Publisher
Bill Keller, Executive Editor
Jill Abramson, Managing Editor
John M. Geddes, Managing Editor
Jonathan Landman, Deputy Managing Editor
Jewish Press:
Mysterious "Editorial Board"
When the New York Times runs the Kolko story, they will offer attributions as well as quotes from victims that the Orthodox Jewish media refused to report on this issue.
My question to you is; why? You have the unique ability to address this pressing issue and help prevent it from hitting the secular media. Don't you have a moral duty to do so?
Jewish Press Letters wrote:
We have a masthead as well. The Times's masthead doesn't tell you who writes any of the editorials. As a matter of fact, none of the names you listed have anything to do with editorials. Gail Collins is the editorial page editor, and she's got 15 or 16 editorial writers under her. Yuo can find their names on the Times website, but you'll never know which one of them wrote any specific editorial.
From: REDACTED
To: Jewish Press Letters
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006
Subject: Re: Child Molester
So, pray tell. Is your name on the Masthead?
Your single minded focus in protecting your anonymous vehicle (the Jewish Press) is hardly the issue at hand.
The issue, namely the presence of a chronic child molester in one of our prominent yeshivas and the refusal of the yeshiva's owner to deal with the issue is a local crisis unlike any we have seen in recent years.
This might not be rocking your world, but a good portion of your readership do live in the community affected by this and they are wondering why your focus seems to be on yourself as opposed to on this issue.
JEWISH PRESS: “EDITORIAL BOARD”: SILENT
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Monday, February 27, 2006 | 30 comments
Saturday, February 25, 2006
UOJ ASKS THE CONCERNED JEWISH COMMUNITY TO COMMENT ON THE EDITORIAL IN THE JEWISH PRESS
To our readers, friends and others...I invite you to respond to the Jewish Press editorial. Well written comments will be posted in my headliner and included in my response to the J.P.in a few days.
Please use logic, common sense and well reasoned arguments, the world media will be reading your responses. You are welcome to use your names; in matter of fact I would encourage rabbis, lay leaders, medical professionals, attorneys and all people of good will to comment.
Disclaimer: Just because someone chooses to comment on this blog, that does not mean that you agree with or endorse any or all of my writings and opinions.
I do believe that all fair minded people will agree that there is no place in our yeshiva system for sexual predators and their protectors...and that a sex abuse registry system for our schools, an independendent panel of professionals to investigate claims of abuse, and a zero tolerance policy for these crimes are long overdue.
I do apologize to the thousands of people that have e-mailed me and posted comments that as of yet I was not able to read, publish and respond to.
I do find it very curious that Yeshiva Torah Temimah, Lipa Margulies and Yudi Kolko have not found the time to come out with a simple written statement denying the allegations against them.
To all that this does concern:
Although as a concerned parent I have monitored this blog for a while, I have held back from posting until now.
Truth, you are a liar and misleader, and if all this innuando about Kolko turns out accurate, your are as evil in my mind as the molestors themselfs.
As a significant contributor to TT, (Appelgrad had me on speed dial-Margo has come to my house in the past year-I have 2 boys there) I had a phone conference with Rabbi Margolis a few days after the letter.
He actually asked me "what would you do". I said to him "In ten years you never aked my advice, why now?" He said he's never been in such a tough position.
He did admit hearing rumors years ago. He also admitted to a few people coming foward in the past, but nothing "serious" in the past 10 years. He also layed on the Rabbi Kolko sob story. Don't get me wrong Rabbi Kolko was mine and my sons' favorite Rebbi. But my childs safety supercedes any sob story or personal tastes.
At no point did he completely deny that Rabbi Kolko was or is, a child Molestor. He even stated that the yeshiva is set up, so that no Rebbi should ever be allowed to be alone with a boy. Implying in my mind that there was concerns with Kolko and maybe at some point other Rebbeyim.
All in all, the conversation left me with a sick taste in my mouth. One of my sons is graduating, but the other I am removing from the Yeshiva at the end of the year. Three other parents in my sons class are removing their kids as well. Must of us were unhappy before this debacle anyway.
Oh, icing on the cake unfortunately, I found out last week, a distant cousin of mine punched Rabbi Kolko in the mouth a few summers ago. As I hear now, he has for years accused Kolko of molesting him. I believe his name is public now.
Anyway, sorry about my spelling and grammer, I am also a TT graduate. I think this problem is prevelent in every yeshiva, but a man with so much accusations around him (especially abuse)should be removed. With the safety of our children the saying applies in my mind. "Where there is smoke, there is fire".
Again I wanted to reiterate that the "Truth" is lying. Rabbi Margolis hedged himseld and did not give me or other parents an assuring denial of the accusations.
This whole incident is a Chillul Hashem and hope this matter concludes shortly.
--
Posted by Anonymous to Un-Orthodox Jew at 2/26/2006 09:30:10 PM
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Saturday, February 25, 2006 | 53 comments
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Preventing Sexual Abuse - A Public Service Message
Air-Time
Most of the material on this blog is useless. I know it. You know it. I write it, you read it, and we both move on. But today I am going to write about sexual abuse.
I have come across a number of blogs over the past few days that are dealing with sexual abuse. The Unorthodox Jews are in the middle of trying to get a yeshiva to fire a rebbi who has been abusing boys for the past thrity years. And Dave had a great post about how the orthodox community has been looking the other way when it comes to sexual predators. Angry Soul has an entire blog talking about his experience being sexually abused over a seven year period. According to Angry Soul, his abuser, a counselor in camp, admitted to abusing over 100 kids during his teenage years.
There are other blogs I have seen talking about sexual abuse, but I haven't seen anyone talking about how to protect your kids from being abused.
As many of you know, I am not a therapist. I have never been sexually abused, and while I do know peple who have been abused, I have never had a discussion about that aspect of their lives with them.
Still, I am a parent, with three kids to protect, and many of you are parents as well, with kids who need to be protected.
Statistically, in the US, something like 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 7 boys are sexually abused in some manner at some point in their lives, which means it a pretty prevelent problem, and not one that as a parent you can afford to ignore.
I have a client, the Self Esteem Shop, which specializes in mental health books. They have an extensive section on sexual abuse, both in terms of prevention and recovery, for children of all ages, and for adults as well. I write their catalogs, and as their copywriter, I have flipped through many of these books, and read quite a few of the kids books from cover to cover.
This comes from the Child Advocacy Center.
Protecting your child from sexual abuse:
Let your child know that he or she can tell you anything and you will always be supportive.
Teach your child that no one, not even a teacher or a close relative, has the right to touch him or her in a way that feels uncomfortable. Teach your child that it is OK to say, "No, get away," and to tell a trusted adult about the incident.
Don't force kids to kiss, hug or sit on a grown-up's lap if they don't want to. This gives them control and teaches them that they have the right to refuse.
Always know where your child is and whom he or she is with.
Tell your child to stay away from strangers who hang around playgrounds, public restrooms and schools.
Be alert for changes in your child's behavior that could signal sexual abuse, such as sudden secretiveness, withdrawal from activities, refusal to go to school, unexplained hostility toward a favorite baby-sitter or relative, or increased anxiety. Some physical signs of abuse include bedwetting, loss of appetite, venereal disease, nightmares and complaints of pain or irritation around the genitals or anus.
If your child has been sexually abused, report it to the police or a child protection agency immediately.
If your child is a victim of sexual abuse, don't blame him or her. Listen and provide safety.
You can talk to your children about sexual abuse without ever using the term "Sexual Abuse." Use phrases like safe touches, and make sure to tell kids that they can always come to you to talk.
As I mentioned above, I write catalogs for the Self Esteem Shop, and here are a few titles I have read through. The prices are the current prices at the Self Esteem Shop's web site, selfesteemshop.com
Preschool Age
Always Be Careful - This safety manual teaches preschool age children (ages 3-5) the ABC's of good and bad touches and personal safety. $3
Andy/Annie - These books, were written for young children. Andy/Annie is confused when a person she knows touches her private parts. Issues include feeling alone, disclosure, and changes in character. Andy is for boys, Annie is for girls. $2.50
It's My Body - A book to teach young children how to resist uncomfortable touch. $5.95
Grade School
My Body is Private - This book teaches kids that their body is their own personal space, and no one should touch them without their permission. $5.95
Sam Speaks Out - When Sam is inappropriately touched by a neighbor, it makes him feel sad and act out. He tells a friend, and she helps him find someone who can help him with his problem. Soon, Sam is back to his old self. 4.95
A Very Touching Book - Using humor, children learn about their body parts as well as privacy, their private parts, and the difference between good and bad touches, including what to do in case of a bad touch. 12.95
Red Flag Green Flag People - This personal safety manual teaches early elementary age children the difference between good and bad touches, and teaches what to do in the event of a bad touch. Facilitators guide available. Appropriate for children ages 4-10. For some reason this book is not on their web site. It is the follow up
book to Always Be Careful, which I mentioned in the preschool section.
For Parents -
Protect Your Child From Sexual Abuse - Janie Hart-Rossi shows parents how to protect their children from sexual abuse. She begins with the facts on sexual abuse, an eye opening experience for many parents. She then offers some key phrases for children, so they can resist uncomfortable touches, and gives specific activities so you can reduce the likelihood of your child ever getting molested. Companion to It's My Body. 7.95
posted by Air Time
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Thursday, February 23, 2006 | 10 comments
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
The Jewish Press/Trash Weighs In With Their BS
R' Yitzchok Abadi was asked the following shaila:
May one take the Jewish Press into the bathroom?
His response; The correct shaila should be; may one take the Jewish Press OUT OF THE BATHROOM?
An Anonymous Flier (Pashkevil) In Brooklyn
By: Editorial Board
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
It was doubtless inadvertent, but the author of the flier makes our point. Thus, the flier recites that "this mailing should not have been necessary," inasmuch as the target and his employer were warned in advance that if the individual either resigned or was fired, "th[e] mailing would be stopped." And on the Internet, the author has declared to one and all that he is about to "uncover" others if they do not accede to his demands. Plainly, this individual is engaged in an effort to fashion a weapon with which to impose his will on Klal Yisrael.
An anonymously written flier mailed recently to many Jewish homes in Brooklyn, containing lurid accusations of improper conduct against an individual in our community and railing against his employer for not firing him, should be taken as a serious warning of a cancer growing in our midst. The flier not only offers no substantiation of the charges themselves, but also reports uncorroborated – and, it turns out, vigorously denied – comments from the employer, which the flier’s unknown author offers as proof of a cover-up.
The mere circulation of the document has caused some, albeit limited, discussion as to the culpability of both the accused individual and the employer – this despite the lack of any evidence or the possibility of any follow-up with the accuser. But if even one person takes this sort of thing seriously, there is cause for concern. Compounding the problem is that the purveyor of this material seems fully at home with the Internet and has spread it anonymously on that medium as well, guaranteeing that it will be seen by all that many more people, both within and without the Jewish community.
Anonymous accusers effectively destroying their targets’ reputations, even before the truthfulness of the accusations are ascertained, cannot be the way of Klal Yisrael – and indeed has never been. Certainly it accords neither with halacha nor with common sense. It is precisely for this reason that for millennia we have invariably insisted that those making claims against another take the accused to a bet din in order to determine the facts and, if necessary, the halacha.
On another level, it is hardly engaging in hyperbole to suggest that if the notion takes root that an anonymous purveyor of unsubstantiated charges can get peoples’ tongues wagging, then none of us can count ourselves safe. It will enable anyone to exercise devastating power at any time and under any circumstances simply by choosing to do so, for whatever motive.
But it is not the excesses of one individual that are of primary concern. As a general proposition, before we even begin thinking about anyone’s having gone astray, we must have more to go on than mere innuendo and accusation flung about by nameless, faceless sources. It is incumbent upon each of us to resolve to give no credence to unproven charges and to urge their being discredited on a community-wide basis. That’s something that certainly should apply to this particular anonymous accuser.
We would also remind readers that President Bush recently signed into law a statute making it illegal for any person to use the Internet to post anonymous accusations designed to inflict pain and suffering on others. In this instance the anonymous accuser should be aware that if identified, he runs the risk of fine and imprisonment for violation of a federal statute
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, February 22, 2006 | 27 comments
UNORTHODOXJEWS.BLOGSPOT.COM HAS BEEN HACKED-OUR NEW ADDRESS:THEUNORTHODOXJEW.BLOGSPOT.COM
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, February 22, 2006 | 15 comments
I Do Not Agree With Everything UOJ Says!
I have been following the postings and comments on this blog for some
time and I am surprised by the almost laughable objections to what UOJ
is doing. These same objectors, who may be very well meaning, would
cringe at the silliness of their claims, had they been made by the
pope and some archbishops about the abusive priests. If you have been
reading or commenting for a while, I suggest you carefully evaluate my
points. If you disagree with them, please try to find fault with the
points I make, and not vilify me just for supporting such a rasha.
There have been several recurring themes in the objections to UOJ. I
will address them one by one. Perhaps the most prevalent is that
because UOJ has said nasty things about so many holy people, he has no
credibility and it is in fact a mitzvah to bring him down. Another
popular objection is that this is simply not the correct forum to
address these claims. Those who make this objection usually compare
this case to Lanners and claim that it would be alright to name him if
he was found guilty, like Lanner was, but he hasn't been found guilty.
They throw in some peons to Megan's law, so that they seem credible,
but then say that until anyone is found guilty, it is wrong to act in
public.
A third theme is that UOJ has some vendetta against Lipa, and since we
can prove that he hates him, it must be that this is his way of
bringing him down. Additionally, we have seen some people who claim
that UOJ has posted on Shabbos and has a potty mouth, thereby
nullifying any credibility that any of his claims might have. Another
objection is that since no victims have posted their names, how do we
know that he isn't just shooting now and asking later? Finally, there
have been some peripheral criticisms, that all the commenters are
really UOJ, or that the lawyer likes to sue people. If I have missed
any major points, please let me know and I will address those as well.
As far as the first claim goes, that he says bad things about
tzadikim, I have a hard time defending him. As anyone intelligent
knows, not every godol is perfect, but they aren't all bad either. He
has, in some cases, unfortunately made a one strike and they are out
rule, as far as his respect for gedolim goes. Nevertheless, that has
nothing whatsoever to do with the actual statements he is making. The
claims about abuse have nothing to do with his personal views. They
are about facts that may or may not have happened. His qualification
system for rabbonim may be half-assed, but those were opinions, as he
makes clear. However, the claims about Kolko are based on fact. You
may not have the same facts at your disposal, but that doesn't change
the fact that this objection mixes up two distinct types of claims
that he has made.
The second critique is perhaps the most insidious, since it seems so
logical on the face of it. Who could argue with someone who also hates
molesters, but just wants them to have their day in court? However,
people need to look at history. Do you know why Lanner, whom most of
you now agree is a bad man, has been convicted in a court of law? It
is NOT because beis din found him guilty and people made claims in the
appropriate forums and a criminal investigation was then launched. It
IS because the Jewish Week ran stories about it BEFORE he was ever
investigated and found guilty. I was one of the many who got very
angry with Gary Rosenblatt for speaking motzi shem rah and making the
frum world look bad. Well, he was convinced, even though many others,
like myself, who didn't know what he knew and felt that his was the
wrong way to go about it. In the end, we were proven wrong. These
claims against Lanner were circulating for over 20 years, and nothing
happened until it was made public.
You have no idea what UOJ knows. (Unless you are Lipa)You have no
right to judge him and say that he can only name names after someone
is found guilty. The only reason why there WILL be a criminal
investigation and why pretty soon, Kolko will no longer be around
children, is because UOJ let the victims know that they weren't alone
and that they could do something about this rasha.
The third objection, that UOJ just hates Lipa, again says nothing
about the actual issues at hand. Without having investigated his
claims yourself, how can you say that you know for certain that his
hatred impeded his investigation of the molestations? In fact, at
some point in the future, we should say Hallel to hashem for his
hatred of Lipa, because without it, many of the victims would not have
come forward. Does he hate Lipa? Yes. Is that a proof that Kolko is
innocent? Absolutely not.
With regard to the claim that UOJ blogged on shabbos, we are once
again faced with obfuscation from the issues. Did he in fact? No one
knows. He may have posted from Israel, and there may have been a time
stamp issue, or, he may indeed have posted on shabbos. Well,
regardless of what actually happened, this is not a defense. It simply
does not address the claims. If there was a court case about this, and
one of the victims who testify, is no longer shomer shabbos, would
that nullify their credibility? (That happened in the Lanner case) It
wouldn't even nullify their credibility in beis din, unless there was
hasrah!
While it would certainly help out his credibility if someone, maybe
someone who is no longer frum, came forward in public, it is not
essential, nor is the lack of one, suggestive that the claims are
fraudulent. The frum world is very close knit, and its history is
littered with victims who were trod upon after coming forward with
allegations. We have seen the smear machine working their magic
against UOJ, trying to out him and threatening violence, why would any
victim in their right mind, want to come forward into such a ruckus?
The other peripheral claims just cloud the issue further, once again
ignoring the issues.
At the end of the day, there are only two sorts of people who can
speak knowledgably on this subject. Those who know for certain that
the allegations are true and those who know for certain that they are
false. To know they are true, we only need to rely on the first hand
accounts. To know they are false, one must have been watching Kolko at
every minute of every single day for the last 35 years. It seems to me
that UOJ knows for certain. If you don't know either way, then I
recommend that you keep your eyes wide open in the next few months.
One way or another, someone will have a lot of apologizing to do. I
suggest that UOJ announce that he will flog himself publicly if he is
wrong, then those who demand his apology might quit whining.
Interested Observer
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, February 22, 2006 | 8 comments
Hey Lipa & Yudi-The Match Only Satan Could Have Made
Hey Lipa,
Stop sending your gofers my way looking to screw over the victims once again.
Hey Lippy boy, I got news for you; scores of victims of all ages have come forward with their parents. So you must be thinking...aha God is on my side, after all I call myself rosh yeshiva, and the assholes in my school wait until I mumble shema, while really what I'm doing is counting ALL the victims of sexual abuse that may be coming forward to destroy me.
So Lip, if your lawyers are telling you there's nothing to worry about, I got news for them; there are recent victims who have come forward...get it Lip, no statute of limitations to protect you against recent victims.
I just thought I'd let you know that my train has left the station...and this is one conducter you can't screw over.
Sleep Well!
posted by Un-Orthodox Jew | Wednesday, February 22, 2006 | 17 comments
